Since I Fell For You(71)
He honestly wasn’t sure how he was going to make it through until morning without touching her, kissing her, holding her.
“Sorry about Eddie’s big mouth,” Roman said after the door closed behind him. “I’ve been working on his manners, but sometimes fifteen wins out.”
“I thought he was sweet. And I also think it’s sweet that you’ve taken him under your wing like this. You must be really close to his parents.”
“I am,” Roman said, hating himself for the things he wasn’t telling her. Things that would douse the light in her eyes when she looked at him.
He was about to reach into a drawer beside her hip for the pasta cutter when he made the mistake of letting himself look into her eyes instead.
Their gazes caught. Held.
And then, before he knew it, she was brushing her fingertips over his lower lip. “You’ve got some chocolate right here.”
That was all it took for the hungry male inside of him to finally win. He stopped holding himself in check for just long enough to lick the chocolate from her finger.
The instant his tongue made contact with her skin, everything stilled. The laughter, the funny stories—they were all gone in an instant.
The heated attraction that had been simmering beneath the surface since the first moment they’d met was the only thing that mattered now.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
“I shouldn’t have done that.” But Roman didn’t step away from her touch, and she didn’t take her hand from his face.
“Yes, you should,” she said softly. “As soon as we got into the car at the lake to come home, I was planning to make you talk to me about what happened last night…and how I want it to happen again.”
“Suzanne.” He needed to remain rational. Even if it was the last thing he wanted. “We can’t. I can’t.”
“Why not? And you’re going to have to come up with something beyond my brothers and being my bodyguard. Those stopped being good reasons a long time ago. Especially now that my brothers already know about us and I’ve told them to back off, or else. And don’t try to blame this on the fire in my apartment either. I’m not going to deny that it got me feeling a little shaky and scared—but that doesn’t have anything to do with what was already going on between us.”
Us. He liked the sound of that way too much. Wanted it so badly that he could barely shove his longing away as he made himself move out of reach.
“The way I treat women I hook up with—I couldn’t treat you like that.”
“You mean in bed?” She bit her lip, then let the succulent flesh go. “Because I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t object to anything you wanted to try. Even if it’s kind of kink—”
“No,” he got out past a strangled throat. “Not in bed.” Jesus, he could barely think beyond the breath-stealing image of Suzanne being kinky in his bed, didn’t know how he was going to string together a coherent sentence. “I’m talking about everything else I do to them.”
“You would never physically hurt a woman unless she was a threat to your client’s safety. And even then, I know you’d regret it. So what could you possibly do to the women you date that’s so bad?”
He couldn’t lie to her, even knowing she would be disgusted by him once she knew the truth. Especially when that was supposed to be his goal, wasn’t it? To make sure she understood that being with him was bad news. He’d promised her brothers no less than that on the dock last night.
“I don’t care.”
“You don’t care…” She cocked her head. “About what, exactly?”
“Them.” The word fell like a stone between them. “The women I date. The women I sleep with. I don’t care about them. I don’t care about any of them.”
“Are you saying that you’ve never been in love with any of the women you’ve been with?”
“I haven’t, but it’s more than that. I’ve never even come close to having feelings about any of them. Ever since I was a teenager, one woman has been the same as the next to me. Like father, like son.”
“I still don’t understand. How are you like your father? And how does this play into the fact that you’ve never fallen for anyone you’ve dated?”
Suzanne deserved so much. Deserved everything he couldn’t give her. Which was why he made himself push even deeper into the truth. “My childhood was a parade of interchangeable women. Once my mom left, my dad could never trust another woman. But just because he didn’t trust them, that didn’t stop him from sleeping with as many as possible. I learned a long time ago that he was never going to change his stripes. And neither will I.” His gut twisted as he strove to make sure she understood exactly what he was telling her. “Women have always, and will always be, interchangeable to me. I can’t stand the thought of ever hurting you, Suzanne. Which is why you and I can never be anything more than friends.”