Since I Fell For You(39)

“I used to wonder,” she said softly, “what it would be like to grow up in a normal family. Used to yearn for a mom who was waiting after school with a snack, and for a dad who didn’t always look at his kids as a reminder of the woman he’d lost.”

He felt every painful word Suzanne spoke like a punch to his gut. He wished he could rewind time to give her what she’d so badly wanted. What they’d both wanted. Because she wasn’t the only one with unanswered questions. For the past twenty-six years, he’d wanted to know—had his mother regretted leaving? Had she missed her son when she’d gone off to chase after “love”?

Then again, he already knew the answers, didn’t he? If she had missed him, if she had loved him, she would have come back to see him again. She hadn’t.

“But maybe,” Suzanne continued, “having to learn resilience from all the craziness around us as kids is what made us strong enough to go out there and fight for the lives we wanted as adults.”

Roman didn’t believe in feeling sorry for himself. He wasn’t surprised that Suzanne hadn’t wasted any time on self-pity either. She’d yearned, but she hadn’t let unfulfilled yearning hold her back.

“If she were here now, your mother would be proud of you,” he had to tell her. Because for all the professional boundaries this conversation was smashing to smithereens, it was the truth. A truth he needed to make sure she knew. “Damned proud.”

“I hope your dad is proud of you,” she said in a heartfelt voice. “He should be.”

Roman could have let it go there. Should have let it go. But he couldn’t stand feeling as though he was lying to her by leaving out the reality of his past. “When I was younger, I did a lot of things I’m not proud of.” Even now, he didn’t exactly treat the women he dated like a prince—at least, not the ones who wanted more than he did. Which was all of them.

At a stop sign, she turned to look him in the eye. “Who didn’t do stupid stuff as a kid? I didn’t know you back then, but Jerry from the pizza place did, and I see how much you mean to him. And we both know my brothers don’t trust me with anyone, so if they’re willing to trust me with you, you must be a pretty great guy.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Are you saying your opinion of me has changed since Monday night?”

“Maybe a little.” It was obvious that she was trying not to smile, but the way her lips twitched at the corners gave her away. “Although, I really didn’t like you forty-eight hours ago, so the only way to go was up.”

Her honesty surprised a laugh out of him, which in turn made her laugh too. He truly had never met another woman like her, who laid everything out on the line with no pretense.

Between the sweet sound of her laughter and her excitement at seeing Summer Lake suddenly appearing through the trees, the tightness inside his chest that he had come to believe would always be a part of him suddenly began to loosen.

Until he remembered they were going to be seeing her brothers and father soon—which made everything inside of him tighten right back up. The Sullivans trusted him to take care of Suzanne, not to use her the way he’d used every other woman in his life.

Just friends with Suzanne sounded good on paper, and her brothers wouldn’t be angry with him for being her friend. But he knew damn well that he was walking a slippery slope.

One where wanting to be friends with Suzanne could all too easily turn into wanting everything.





CHAPTER THIRTEEN





“Dad, isn’t this surprise wedding wonderful?” As soon as William Sullivan opened the front door, Suzanne threw her arms around her father, who had already been reaching for her too.

“It is,” he agreed, holding her tightly. “Even better because you’re back at the lake again so soon.”

In the car, she’d said that her father was working toward a better relationship with her than they’d had when she was growing up. Roman was really glad to see evidence of how much her father loved her simply from the way he held her—as if he wished he didn’t ever have to let go.

When it came to Suzanne, it was a feeling Roman understood all too well…

“I wanted to tell you as soon as Smith asked me to help him put the wedding together a couple of weeks ago,” her father explained. “But with the paparazzi always barking at his heels, I understood the risks of spreading the word at all.”

“If anyone could understand the downside of fame,” she murmured, “it’s you.” A flicker of deep-seated grief moved across her father’s face before she added, “Don’t worry about not telling me—I’m just glad to be here to celebrate with them. And, of course, to help with the wedding in any way I can.”