I close my eyes and let him be bigger than everything in the world.
24. A glass of regrets
Lady Jane Spears, how are we this evening?” Henry strolls into the room, giving me a smug smile and handing me a glass of red wine.
Angie waggles her brows and lifts her champagne. “I need a refill.” She gets up and stumbles off.
“I think my mother and father are actually therapeutic for her. She is depressed in a way I haven’t seen in another human being before. Pathetic, really.”
I give Henry a look, knowing he’s baiting me. But I don’t take the bait. I bait back, and I am carrying some motherfucking bait. “Not even sad hookers or sex slaves, pardner?” I try to use a western accent like a cocky cowboy, but it fails.
“I think I’m lost.” He looks confused.
“Yeah, wear that look for a night or two, and then maybe I’ll let you know what I know.” A terrible recovery, but it’s what I have for the time being.
His jaw drops. “Kitty likes to scratch? Excellent. I just hope you like it rough.”
I narrow my gaze, again not taking shit from him. “Oh, please, I got the footage of how you like to swing. I’m not big on costumes and captive hookers—hard pass for me, thanks.” I lift a finger. “When this shit hits state’s evidence you need to hit the road. England might not let you stay when they see how fond you are of old leather chaps worn by every other guy ahead of you in the line.”
His face pales. “I don’t—I don’t know what you’re speaking of.”
“Except you do, and if it gets out that a member of this family was part of a huge, multinational sting, your father is going to disown you. Remember when I told you that your dad was a bad boy, but he was smart about where he dishonored his family?”
He swallows hard.
“You were not so smart, and there is a tech right now using face recognition to track down every person who is part of the Backcountry Brothers Society.” I get up and storm from the room. I pull my phone and send a text to Antoine.
I just warned Dash’s brother. You need to set up shop somewhere no one will ever find you. In case he calls this in and tries to get help from the big boys in our op.
He sends an annoyed face meme and a reply.
You are so good with international secrecy.
I send him a text back.
You need to listen and stop acting like this isn’t as serious as it is. Follow your own advice and RUN!
I delete it as I walk to Dash. I hadn’t intended to tell him, but I am not worrying about my partner. One of the few people left that I trust fully is possibly in danger.
Hands grab me hard by the wrist. Henry spins me. “How long do I have?”
I shake my head, jerking my hand free. “A week.”
He sighs, but I see something in his eyes I recognize from his brother’s. “You didn’t have to warn me, and I suspect no one else is getting this courtesy. So thank you.” He pulls me in and hugs me.
I step out of his grip, pushing back. “I don’t care about you. I care about the humiliation this would have brought your family—your brother.”
He laughs. “Says the main source of our humiliation.” He laughs again and walks off. He’s actually laughing at me. I turn to find Dash in the crowd of guests that always seems to be here, but when I locate him he’s standing next to an old man, chatting away. I wave, and he grins at me. I wonder if his parents know how lucky they are to have a son like him.
Angie stumbles over to me, linking her arm in mine. I hug her and pull her to the pergola, my favorite place on this whole estate.
When we get outside I lay her back on the expensive chaise and sit at her feet. I pull her shoes off.
She grins. “Wow, what is this? Touching, and she takes my shoes off? Who are you, and what have you done with my friend?”
I smile and place her shoes on the ground. “You ever feel yourself grow?”
She sighs and looks up at the lilacs and the stars. “I have felt that moment a few times. Once when my mother died. I felt her leave me, and I felt small for a minute.” She grins through the watery eyes. “Okay, a month. But then one day I was okay. And I knew I would be okay. And I knew she loved me, no matter where she was. And it was okay that I didn’t feel like I had a mother, because I did. She was just a star watching over me.” She closes her eyes. “I am waiting for that moment to happen for me with Rory. Not because I think I can’t live without him—I can. Not because I am heartbroken over his betrayal. But because I am honestly so disgusted that I was with a monster and didn’t know. How could I be so blind, and support and love and care for a man who was that evil?” She gives me a hard stare. “I feel dirty in my soul, Jane. Dirty all the way into the fiber of who I am. To my very core. That’s a type of filth you just don’t wash off.” She shudders. “He touched me with his monster hands and his monster lips and his monster soul.” She just lets the tears fall down her ruddy cheeks and looks back at the stars. “What would my mom think?”