Jeremy took a breath and Carter sat trying to absorb it all.
Then Jeremy put a hand on Carter's cheek. "So I have a choice. Do I want to run looking for the heavier, the intense, the scary? Or do I want the quiet love looking me right in the face?"
Carter tensed. "So I'm … the lesser of two evils."
Jeremy laughed, but it was a sorrowful, sad laugh. "Never. You're the fucking stars and home and I'm not going to marry you tomorrow, but you're that love I found when I was too young to get it. And I thought love was supposed to hurt, and because you never hurt me, it was hard to see you. And how you never did anything except be there for me, no questions asked, is scary in its own way. I see you, Carter. And if you can even give me a chance, I want to love you and spend more time with you."
Carter felt like an idiot for the way he choked up. But he gave his best watery smile. "I don't like you, Jem." He kissed Jeremy. "I've loved you forever. I might not have always been in love with you, and I might not have gotten it myself at times. I feel dumb because you did hurt me, but you were sitting on a stage singing your heart out once, and I knew then that you were more than just Sarah's spoiled older brother." He chuckled. "And that was the longest I love you ever, by the way. And probably the most I've ever heard you say at once."
Jeremy laughed, equally as watery now. "It had to be." He put his forehead to Carter's. "It took me so long to get to you, I had to make it the longest apology I could. You deserve pretty words. I am a musician, after all."
"You're an idiot," Carter said fondly.
And they kissed. Full of home and stars, and it was simple. And it was good.
And then Sarah opened the window and the wolf whistles started.
They pulled apart, laughing. "So Troy's here," Carter said.
"Uh. So your dad is here … ."
"Oh, shit!" Carter exclaimed.
16
Jeremy woke the next day and smiled when he saw Carter passed out on the bed beside him. Carter was still fully clothed and his pompadour was no longer gelled, but a fiery red tangle of hair all over the place. Carter's cheeks were puffy and lined from the imprint of the pillow case.
And Jeremy didn't want to run screaming from the room. His heart beat a steady, peaceful rhythm, cheeks aching from smiling at his ridiculous looking Red lying next to him.
He never thought he would have a moment of such clarity as he did the night before, but if that had been telling, this was a revelation. He was happy. Fucking happy.
Throwing his arms and legs over Carter-Jeremy was naked-he wrapped around the man and clung, shaking him a little. Carter groaned.
"Wake up."
"Fuck off."
Jeremy burrowed his face in Carter's neck, nipping at the warm skin, then licking a line from neck to cheek. Carter whined, sleepily, and tried to push him off. But Jeremy didn't miss the grin trying to break free.
"So mean, Red. That was the fastest honeymoon period ever." Carter just grunted. Jeremy leaned up just enough to look down at where Carter's long, strawberry blond lashes fanned on his cheek. Carter's nose scrunched as he closed his eyes tighter.
"I didn't even get a blowjob after my big speech," Jeremy whined, shaking Carter more, rubbing his hard cock against Carter's clothed hip.
"Because being a pest is going to change that?"
He licked Carter's ear. "It has every other time."
Carter's eyes opened just so he could roll them. "Who knew being a pain in the ass was a turn on?"
"I'd have used it years ago if I'd known it was so effective. Much easier than writing songs and cheaper than plying people with booze."
"You're such a slut."
Jeremy rolled onto his back and threw his arm over his eyes. "You wound me." He reached down to fondle himself. "I don't know if I can keep it up now."
Carter snorted but continued lying still. Jeremy knew he was being a little ridiculous, but the day before had been stressful, and Carter's dad showing up had made for a hell of a tense night.
The senior Darling had slipped quietly into town to apologize to Carter and announce he and Carter's mother would, in fact, not be pursuing a chance for her to stay in office. "We caused enough grief, and worst of all, we cause you grief. Maybe it's time we took some time to re-examine why she wants to do the job. And no doubt about the fact, we need to reevaluate our relationship with you."
Jeremy had stood behind Carter and he had put his palm on the small of Carter's back as Carter stared at his dad, seeming to not know what to make of either his dad's sudden appearance, nor his obviously real regret. When they had left Carter's dad in his cabin and gone back to Jeremy's room, they had ended up being pulled into a few more minutes of hanging out with Sarah, Chris, and Ella, who, it turns out, was pretty nice, now that Jeremy was over himself. Well, as over himself as he got.
And Carter had turned to Jeremy, put a hand over Jeremy's where it rested on his knee, and smiled such a genuine, in-love smile before saying, "Thanks for being there with me." Jeremy had felt ten feet tall. Sarah and Ella had covered knowing smiles, but even theirs had pleased him. He knew he would still fuck up, but knowing he had gotten that simple thing right for Carter meant the world to him.
Lying in bed, next to Carter, he wanted to touch him. Really touch him. And he wanted a few more minutes in their space, just the two of them, before they were thrust back in with the gossip hounds, otherwise known as their friends and family.
After a moment, Carter's warm hand reached out, rubbing Jeremy's hip. The simplest touch, but it sent such a thrill through Jeremy, he couldn't believe he hadn't realized what it was, long ago. There's your sign, idiot. So many signs that had been there before. But like Carter, they were no-frills, tangible things. And it felt like saying Carter wasn't exciting, but that wasn't it. Carter was intense and beautiful and … everything. He was all those things without having to be the most all-consuming thing in the room. Jeremy did enough taking up space on his own, it was crazy to realize Carter was the balance to that.
He rolled until his lips pressed gently to Carter's sleep-warmed mouth. It was a brief, firm pressing together, and Carter's hand slid to Jeremy's aching cock, then he fondled his balls. "God, Carter," Jeremy whispered, looking in Carter's blue eyes. "I just … I love you."
Carter looked at him with that same loving expression as last night, but with a little more wonder. "The way you look at me, Jem. You mean it, don't you?" Jeremy nodded and Carter gave an exasperated sigh. "How can I tease you for being annoying when you're … this."
Jeremy smirked. "Less teasing, more of that happy stuff you're doing with your hand. We have to face the music soon enough."
Carter snorted but rolled on top of Jeremy, lips to his, tongue licking into Jeremy's mouth. They worked together to get rid of Carter's shirt and shorts. Thankfully, Carter wasn't wearing underwear, so Jeremy's hands slid the shorts off him and had hands full of firm, meaty ass cheeks. He squeezed them as Carter kissed down his jawbone, moaning when Jeremy slid fingers over his hole.
"Who's the slut, huh?"
"Fuck you," Carter retorted with no heat, other than the horny kind. Jeremy hissed as Carter pressed their pelvises together and started grinding, cock slipping in the tight space between their stomachs.
"I thought you wanted me to fuck you," Jeremy said throatily into Carter's ear, this time sliding a finger down, pressing the tip inside Carter. Carter bucked.
"Fuuuuck, that's nice."
"Yeah?" Jeremy nipped Carter's bottom lip, sucked it in, and pressed his finger all the way inside Carter. Carter moaned, ass clenching. "Yeah, you do like that. For someone who wasn't so sure about anal … " He stopped and grimaced. "Sorry, you know I'm not really picking on you for waiting, right?"
Carter's mouth had been open, head back. He dropped his forehead to Jeremy's. "It was always just about the right person."
That Jeremy knew Carter meant he was the right person made his heart pound, sending a need, a spark of desire that was startling and something he would have made fun of anyone else for in the past. But fuck it. He pulled his finger out of Carter and wrapped Carter in a tight embrace and lazily made out with him, their cocks tensing between them with each roll of their hips.