"Oh, Jesus," Jeremy groaned. "Here comes the women's studies."
Sarah huffed, and Chris laughed until she shut him up with another glare. Then her lips twitched and Carter threw his hands up.
"Oh, come on, Carter. It is a little funny. I imagined you in your uniform being all Carter with his social awkwardness and your rules. Then you come back, and grown up Carter is still playful and does things like Fancy Fridays with his bestie."
Carter shrugged. "Well, in my defense, I only made it three years, and I never was too good in the Army. I was kind of … soft." Jeremy snorted and Carter flipped him off. "Plus, I got injured and my parents were so little help and I was kind of closeted, so Ella and I needed a way to just be ourselves. A safe space."
The whole group fell silent, nothing but the sounds of crickets and the fire crackling. The light breeze blew much warmer these days, but still just a springtime night breeze that required sleeved shirts.
Sarah let out a sad, "Oh," and the guys sat sipping their soda and beer, respectively.
Until Sarah caught that Carter had just pulled the same trick on them. "You bastard!" She jumped up, pointing a finger at him, face twisted in mock outrage. "That's not nice."
Carter chuckled, shrugging. "Payback." And it wasn't all lies. Though he was grinning, something in Jeremy's eyes said he knew Carter hadn't been kidding. They sat around chatting, the subject safely off Carter for now. He sure as hell would never be okay with being the center of attention, even if he was ten times better with people than he had been as a shy teenager thrust into his mother's spotlight.
Eventually, though, Sarah was chilly and it was time for Chris to head out, so they took their leave. Sarah hugged Carter and her brother, who both waved goodnight to Chris, and watched them take off in Chris's Jeep down the now-beaten path that led to the back pasture.
It was quiet again for a while, the tall grass swaying in the breeze. The fire had died down a bit and, honestly, Carter hadn't been this content in a very long time. Yes, he'd had moments with Ella or when he had gotten to see things in his travels overseas in his last year in the Army. But this was different, here in this place, feeling the comfort of old friends and finally having a little hope for his future again.
And with Jeremy, knowing maybe after this they would go back to his cabin or Jeremy's room and lie around making out. He felt like an adult and a horny teenager all at the same time. Yay twenty-something. That made him laugh quietly to himself as he sipped the last of his warming beer.
He rose to go grab another, and Jeremy halted him. "I'll grab you one. I gotta get something." Carter watched as Jeremy walked toward his truck and dug in the cooler in the bed before pulling his acoustic guitar from the extended cab. Carter got a little giddy, because he hadn't really seen or heard Jeremy do more than pluck at the guitar since he had arrived.
He passed Carter the beer, and Carter leaned back on the sleeping bag he had brought to sit on, looking up at the stars, not staring at Jeremy like he wanted to do.
Jeremy's phone went off and Carter almost thought the moment was over, but Jeremy ignored the call with a grunt.
"You can get that if you need."
"I don't need," he said, sounding grumpy. The shuffling of grass and creaking of the canvas floating chair followed, then the strumming of chords began, and then stopped. "You don't wanna go in do you? I'm just messing around over here."
Carter did look at Jeremy then. In the dying firelight, his expression was neutral, but deep in his eyes there was a longing, one he obviously didn't want seen, as he dropped his eyes to look at his finger placement on the strings. The vulnerable moment made Carter's breath catch in his throat. He had waited his whole life for someone to look at him even a fraction like that. Did he dare acknowledge it?
He and Jeremy had been back to their playful, fun fooling around. Would acknowledging that maybe something more was going on here burst the bubble?
"No. I don't need to be anywhere." He hoped he didn't sound as breathless as he felt. Jeremy just hummed and started strumming the guitar strings again. The tune was an old, familiar one. One Jeremy had played when they were teens, a song he had written. Only, it didn't sound folksy like the music of Jeremy's band. It was more pop-y. A little more upbeat, which was something Carter had always thought was distinctly absent from Jeremy's music in the past, that shiny playfulness that lived inside Jeremy had never really shone through in his music.
But now it did, and Jeremy started singing about taking rockets into the stars and how loneliness wasn't his friend anymore. It was surprisingly light in tone. And Jeremy's voice was mellow and soulful, singing of a man who had been asleep too long and how he had gotten it wrong. He was better now, feeling better. Both bleak and bright, the song made Carter's chest ache because this … this song was all Jeremy Beck, and it felt like their whole time together. An amalgam of regret and yearning for the best that was yet to come.
Carter watched Jeremy, unblinkingly, as Jeremy quietly sang the song to its end with his eyes closed.
God. What Carter wouldn't give for more time here, to live closer, to beg Jeremy to come to New York.
But the moment was soon over and Jeremy smiled his cocky smile. "I think I still got it."
"Yeah," Carter rasped. Then cleared his throat and said more clearly, "I like that version much better than the old one."
"Thanks. It just kind of came to me. When I get back to Austin, I think I'll record this solo." Poof, the bubble was officially burst.
"Oh? You're going solo?"
"Yeah. My dad's been talking to my manager. The band is going to get another guitarist. I think it's time I moved on. I'm excited about my music again. It's nice. I still have some closure to get, some simplifying to do."
Carter was beginning to despise the word simple.
Jeremy started strumming again and laughed when he said, "You know the words." And Carter did. They used to get drunk, Jeremy probably high, and sing "What's Going On." It was almost their party trick, because no matter how crazy the night got, pull out 4 Non Blondes and everyone gathered around for some Hey Yeah, Yeah, Yeah.
They belted it out at the top of their lungs and were laughing by the end, like the couple of kids they used to be, like the men who were figuring shit out and had gotten some clarity together lately-if not as a unit, then individually. Carter would stop reading into it. It was the magic of this place and nostalgia.
"Better than fuckin' Kumbaya, I tell ya," Jeremy said, still playfully strumming the guitar.
Carter sighed and fell on his back again, looking up at the stars with a wide smile on his face. His head was buzzing nicely. Not drunk, just light and relaxed.
He had just noticed Jeremy had stopped strumming when the man's face appeared over his. That confident smirk, the sexy way he bent down to nip Carter's bottom lip.
"I like this beard you've got going on," Jeremy flirted, kissing Carter's chin, then up to his cheek.
"Thought a change would be nice," Carter said, but finished on a moan as Jeremy ground their clothed cocks together. "Mmm, that's nice."
Jeremy kissed him full on, with tongue and sucking lips. He tasted like a hint of marijuana, bitter chapstick, and Cherry Coke. Carter sighed as Jeremy kissed down his neck. "It's so hard to keep my hands off you for so long," Jeremy said, his voice deep with desire. The feeling is mutual. But Carter couldn't get the words out as Jeremy unbuttoned Carter's jeans and stroked his cock through his thin boxer briefs. "Wanna taste you so bad," Jeremy groaned.
"Please," Carter sighed.
Jeremy kissed down Carter's chest even though his shirt was still on, then bit his nipple hard through the cotton. Carter moaned. Jeremy eventually made it to Carter's cock and sucked him in. He used his hands to stroke Carter's cock and fondle his balls, and his mouth was like heaven, lips stretched over the head.
He bobbed up and down on Carter, stroking with his spit. Carter's toes curled in his boots. "Fuck, Jeremy. Just like that."
Jeremy chuckled and sped up both his stroking and his sucking, trying to pull the orgasm from Carter. He got Carter right to the edge and popped off his cock.
"God, I need," Carter whispered, unbidden.
"What do you want, babe?" Carter couldn't even tease Jeremy for calling him babe. He liked it.