"Good morning," Jeremy said.
"Morning."
"When I get back from Milo's tonight, we should definitely watch more Netflix."
Carter groaned. "Oh god. You did not just invite me to Netflix and Chill."
Jeremy snorted. "Damn straight." He cocked his head. "Well … straight might be pushing it."
"You're an idiot," Carter retorted, shoving Jeremy back. "I guess so, if you won't be too tired from Milo's."
God, but he sounded like a jealous kid fishing like that. Jeremy obviously thought so as well, and rolled his eyes. "I'm taking him his amps and helping him set up his practice space, but he lives down in Georgia-Blue Ridge-so it'll be a bit of a drive."
Carter felt like an ass. "I didn't-"
Jeremy smiled happily. "Yes you did. It was kind of cute, you getting all jealous-passive-aggressive on me. Kind of."
"Sorry."
Jeremy pressed a closed mouth kiss on Carter's lips, not unlike the one they'd shared in the pasture yesterday. Damn, if they didn't have separate lives in totally far flung states, Jeremy would be - stop it.
"I'm yours, for now. No need to go all soldier and drag me into your cave."
Carter blinked. "That metaphor is mixed or just plain makes no sense." Jeremy just shrugged and started walking toward his truck. Carter watched as Jeremy drove off down the driveway and tried not to swoon too much. He spent a good long time that day reminding himself of those two crucial words: for now. They'd been thrown out carelessly, but he was pretty sure they'd been Jeremy's subtle reminder that this was a right-here-right-now kind of arrangement. And hell, the arrangement was a day old, no matter how far back childhood crushes went.
Plus, Carter's life was absolutely insane these days and he was still at NYU. Hell, he didn't even know what he wanted to do with his life anymore. He wasn't in a place for a serious relationship, especially not one with someone his family was so close with, one that wouldn't just disappear and mean nothing.
He didn't want any break up to come between him and Sarah or the Becks. He'd forgotten how much they'd meant to him, how much having that second family meant to him.
For now was what it had to stay. Even if that tattooed, playful man child was the best breath of fresh air Tennessee had to offer.
8
"What are you still doing here?"
Jeremy turned to Milo, surprised. "I thought you wanted me to help set this shit up?" He waved his hand around the garage where they had set up Milo's equipment.
Milo shook his head, curly hair flopping from side to side. Milo was the youngest in the band, only just twenty-two recently. He was also the newest member. He and Jeremy had fucked around a while after meeting at the bar Troy and Jeremy had named the band after-The Corner Bar at Disctrict & Wild. Milo gave pretty good head, but he was a damn better drummer. They'd cooled their fuck buddy arrangement when he joined the band, not only for professional reasons, but also because Milo knew the score with Jeremy's feelings for Troy. But Milo had remained a good friend, probably better than Troy had ever been, if Jeremy was being honest.
"That was when I thought you needed a distraction. You're all pre-show, happy Jeremy now, so I'm assuming you got off the angst train and jumped your guy's bone. And I'm hoping literally."
Jeremy smirked at his friend. He felt like he'd been doing that a lot lately, but it'd been a pretty good twenty-four hours.
Milo returned the smirk. "Amazing what getting over one's self can do."
"We came to an agreement."
Milo groaned.
"What?"
"Your ‘fling' agreements."
"What?" Jeremy's brows went up. "Keeps expectations simple." Milo grumbled about his using the word simple too, but Jeremy pushed on. "I technically live in Texas and he lives in New York City. I'm still hung up on Troy, even if it's dumb. He's been living like a hermit. We're old friends, we're attracted to each other. We're helping each other out."
"Uh huh," Milo said with an indecipherable look.
"What?"
"You know, there're two names I've heard you say a lot over our couple of years as friends. Especially when you talk about your sobriety. There was Carter who came first and Troy who came after. You got sober because of Carter, but stayed that way with Troy's help." Jeremy did not want to talk about this. "I'm assuming this is that Carter."
"Miles, he's just my kid sister's friend who had a harmless crush. I hurt his feelings and felt bad. Yeah, it was a wake-up call, but it wasn't love or anything." Even if he couldn't admit it, it was nice seeing that shine in Carter's eyes again. It had reappeared as soon as he had told Carter he had gotten clean and stayed that way. Carter gave him more credit than his own parents did. Hell, Jeremy thought his parents would still piss test him if they could.
"I just want you to promise me something."
"Oh, hell," Jeremy grumbled.
"Don't shut him out. I don't wanna give you advice or tell you what to do. I don't even just mean as a possible more-than-friend, but as a friend, let him … be your friend."
"Eloquent."
"Stop teasing, I'm trying to be sage and shit." Milo flipped him off and continued, "You've at least missed having him as a friend. Your whole attitude today versus yesterday says it so loud. And remember, our friendship started the same way, so sex doesn't have to end the possibility. This is your chance to be away from all of the drama, and if this guy's good for you, getting off or talking to … let him."
Jeremy wanted to say something glib, but of all people, Milo knew him. He'd hit it on the head. How could he say no when that was what he really wanted.
"And Jeremy, if you decide to stay home, decide D&W isn't your scene anymore, it won't be the worst thing ever. It would be worse to come back if your heart isn't in it. For whatever reason."
Jeremy had thought about all of those things. It was strange having someone say to him stuff he'd had inside, at least as far as the band was concerned. There was a small part of him that thought-whether personally or musically-he may not be able to continue to grow with D&W. He sure couldn't with Troy. He recognized him as the crutch Troy had become, and for the way he had let Troy take advantage of it.
"I'll think about it," he said. Milo scoffed but didn't say anything else. He did realize one thing, though. Things had been so heavy for a while and he had felt light again; being back home, being around Sarah, being with Carter. Even the last couple weeks had been full of way more introspection than Jeremy had done in a long, long time and his mind had been silenced with Carter, he could just be Jeremy with no judgment and no expectations. They still had months before he had to get back to real life, so he thought maybe it was time to enjoy his fun with Carter and maybe think about where to go when that respite was over.
"I think I'll head out then. If you're sure."
Milo snorted. "Text me." As Jeremy picked up his keys and headed for the door, Milo started playing a Barry White song through the small speakers of his phone. Jeremy shook his head at Milo's cackling.
It'd been nice to see Milo. It was nice having Milo's perspective. Jeremy, for all his faults in the past, prided himself at taking other people's words to heart. He may not always heed their advice, but since Milo's lined up so well with his inner voice, he figured it wouldn't hurt to just … do. To feel. He hadn't let himself do much of that in a long time.
He started his truck and pulled away from Milo's little two bedroom house in the mountains of Georgia, and started for home. He even let himself smile at the thought of Carter. It couldn't hurt, right? Just for now.
* * *
Jeremy's mind was blissfully at ease during his drive home. Most of the trip was country roads and desolate interstate highway with little traffic and lots of trees. He even listened to local radio most of the drive; a golden oldies station with Dillon and Springsteen. He'd cracked a smile thinking of how his dad would complain about feeling old about then if he'd been along for the ride.
He fired off a text once he'd gotten closer to home, letting Carter know he would be earlier than he had expected. He felt a little ridiculous for how eager he'd been while waiting for that See you soon ;) in reply. He was glad none of his friends were there because they would give him ten kinds of hell for the grin he couldn't keep off his face. He was definitely known for being one of the more laid-back, despite recent personal dramas among them all, but his obvious good spirits and the hard on he'd had for at least the last twenty minutes would have given him away.