Silk and Secrets(49)

"This is one of those cases where sheer size and strength count," he said mildly. "I would not have made the attempt if I thought it suicidal."

"Perhaps not, but to me it looked as if you misjudged the risk, and very nearly died as a result." Realizing that she was railing like a fishwife, Juliet clamped her mouth shut, but she still trembled from the sheer terror she had felt when Ross had disappeared under the surface for so long.

She had wanted to scream to the heavens that he could not die, that there was still unsettled business between them. Part of the horror lay in knowing that unfinished business would not make a damned bit of difference to whether he lived or died.

Using all of his weight, Ross reined back a camel that showed signs of wanting to savage one of its fellows. "Would you have had me leave Muhammad Kasem to die?"

She hesitated a moment, then said reluctantly, "I suppose not, particularly since the outcome in this case was fortunate. But I would not have you throw your life away, either. Especially not for a stranger."

His brows arched upward in amusement. "It's foolish for you to worry about me dying in a flood when there is an excellent chance that I will die much more unpleasantly in Bokhara."

Exasperated at his levity, she said, "I would rather you didn't die in either place."

"Look at the silver lining. If that happens, at least you'll be a free woman again."

"I'm already a free woman," she snapped. "I don't need your death to prove it. When I saw him drag you under the water..." She bit her lip, grateful that the veil hid her expression.

"I suspect that that was harder to watch than to experience. And worse lies ahead." His face sobered. "I wish to God that you had stayed at Serevan."

He was quite right. The risks would be greater in Bokhara, and Juliet would have to be more in control of herself than she was now. Over the years her life had been in danger more than once, and she had always reacted with a calm that awed her men. She took a long, slow breath before saying, "You couldn't have stopped me from coming."

"I know. That's the only reason you're here." He lifted one of the heavy filled waterskins and heaved it onto a pack camel. "I want you to promise me something, Juliet."

She had been about to secure the waterskin, but she stopped and regarded Ross warily. He stood only a foot away, and his closeness sparked a swift, unnerving memory of how he had looked when he emerged from the flood, his wet tunic and trousers outlining every muscle in his hard body. She swallowed hard, trying to dismiss the distracting image. "Promise what?"

As he loaded another waterskin, he said with resignation, "I should have known you wouldn't agree to anything without first finding out what it is."

"Of course not. Knowing what you're signing is the first law of contracts." She began tying the waterskins in place.

"I'm not talking about a contract." He reached out and covered her hand, stilling her fingers on the packsaddle rope. "Juliet, look at me."

She did so reluctantly. Most of her face might be covered, but he could see her eyes, and she feared that they might show too much.

Deadly serious, he said, "If things go badly, I will never leave Bokhara alive, but as a Muslim servant there is a good chance that you will be able to escape my fate. Promise me you will do what you must to survive. If it will save your life, I want you to abandon me, even denounce me to the amir's men if necessary. For God's sake, don't try any wild, hopeless schemes in a vain attempt to rescue me. I don't want you to die because of stubbornness or bravado or guilt."

When she said nothing, his hand tightened on hers. "Promise me, Juliet. Please."

Hating the conversation, incapable of matching his ruthless practicality, she said, "Isn't it my life to lose as I choose?"

"Perhaps, but that isn't the point." He sighed and released her hand. "Will it make a difference if I say that I would die a little happier if I knew that you were safe?"

The lump in her throat was so large that she feared it would suffocate her, as the floodwaters had almost drowned Ross. "It makes a difference," she said brusquely. "Very well. I promise that if they condemn you and overlook me, I will accept the situation quietly and not do anything foolish."

His long tanned fingers touched the back of her hand very lightly. "Thank you."

Silently she turned and secured the waterskins. She had made the promise—but she was not sure that she would be able to keep it, any more than Ross had been able to restrain himself from daring the flood. It would be easier to risk her own life in a doomed attempt to help than it would be to stand by and do nothing when someone she cared for was in danger.