He closed his eyes and a tremor crossed his face. Then he opened his eyes again, grim determination carved on every feature. Too late she realized she'd put a dangerous weapon in his hands: now that she had admitted how much she loved him, he would fight even more ruthlessly to change her mind, and she did not know if she could withstand him.
His first volley was as simple as it was unanswerable. "If you loved me, then why did you leave me?"
"I've told you why!" She began pacing again. "Several times, in several ways. Love is beyond price, but it isn't the only thing that matters. If you believed that love was the most important thing on earth, you would stay with me in Serevan rather than go back to England."
"Actually, I do believe that love is the most important thing on earth, though love comes in many forms besides the romantic kind." His eyes narrowed. "I find myself suspicious of your invitation to stay here. Making the offer gives you the chance to seem reasonable and willing to compromise, but at the same time, it's safe because you know I won't accept. I can't help feeling that there are other, deeper reasons why you left."
Juliet regarded her husband with horror. She should have known she could not fool him; not Ross, who understood her better than anyone else ever had. Unsteadily she said, "You're looking for mysteries that aren't there. I've told you the truth."
"Ah, but is it the whole truth? Somehow, I think not." His voice roughened. "God knows I've tried to be fair. I've never threatened you physically or financially. In return, don't you owe me the truth, if nothing else?"
His assault splintered her resolution, and before she could stop herself, she cried, "If I told you the whole truth, you would hate me, and I couldn't bear that!"
He became very still, his face like marble except for the vivid pain in his eyes. "So there is more. Tell me what it is, Juliet, because I can't think of a single damned thing you could reveal that would make me feel worse than I feel right now."
Folding down on the divan, she buried her face in her hands. "Why can't you just accept that our marriage is over?" she said, her voice raw with anguish. "I've said it before and now I'll say it again: divorce me. Then marry a woman who will love you as you deserve. Forget that you ever knew me."
"Do you really think it's that simple?" he said bitterly. "No court can dissolve the bonds that hold us together. Years and miles didn't do it before, and they won't do it now."
"You may believe that today," she said wearily, "but when you are back in England, this whole strange interlude will seem like a bad dream. Now that you won't be haunted by questions about how and where I'm living, you can finally be free of me."
He stalked across the room and caught her chin with his hand, forcing her to look at him. "Very well, we can end this right now. I understand that divorce is easy under Islamic law—a man merely tells his wife 'I divorce thee' three times. Of course, it won't be legally binding, but here is your chance. Go ahead, divorce me if you think it is so easy."
When she stared at him in confusion, Ross said savagely, "Say it, Juliet! Repeat 'I divorce thee' three times and I'll go back to England and find some way to make it legal."
When she realized that he was serious, she swallowed hard, then faltered, "I... I divorce thee." Her throat closed.
"Again, Juliet," he prompted, his eyes dark with anger. "Say it two more times and I will accept that our marriage is over."
After licking her dry lips, she tried for the second time. Six more words and she would have done the right thing: set Ross free. "I d-divorce..." Her voice broke and she began shaking violently. "I can't," she gasped. "I... just can't say it."
"I didn't think you could." He released her chin and spun away, saying with barely suppressed violence, "If you can't bring yourself to end our marriage, don't expect me to do it for you."
She had always thought his inner strength limitless, but her weaknesses had pushed him to his limits. With agonizing clarity she saw just how much she was hurting him. "Very well, you've demonstrated how wrong I was to think that divorce was a realistic solution," she said unevenly. "But if we can't end our marriage, then let us at least separate peacefully."
"I find myself feeling curiously unpeaceful." He swung back to face her again. "You talk as if our marriage concerns only us, but have you considered the chance that you might be pregnant? It's certainly possible, considering that we've been going at each other like hares in heat.
"The subject was briefly touched on in Bokhara, when I thought it highly likely I would die, but now that I have survived, I find myself with a more personal interest in the outcome. If we have a child, will you raise it here, thousands of miles from its heritage? Will I have any say in its future?"