Carefully he drew the sheet down to her waist so he could see more of her graceful curves. He definitely was not dying, not the way his body reacted to her nearness.
But what had been so clear when he thought he was on the brink of death was clear no longer. He did not doubt that he loved Juliet. That was a truth so immense that it was inarguable.
The problem was not love, but life. Danger had drawn them together again; without that bond, did they have a marriage?
In Bokhara they had ignored their differences by tacit consent because they had needed each other so much. But against all the odds, they had survived, and now they must face the explosive unanswered questions of the past.
With a desire so great it was pain, Ross wanted Juliet to come back to England with him, to be his wife in truth as well as law. With any other woman he would have thought that joy and passion and friendship would be enough to make a marriage worth keeping. But he feared with deep, angry despair that those would not be enough to keep Juliet by his side.
His hand unsteady, he stroked her hair. She must have visited the hammam, as she had planned, for the bright tresses fell across her shoulder in a shining silken torrent.
At his touch, Juliet's eyes fluttered open and she gave him a smile of uncomplicated sweetness. Then she raised her hand to his face, her fingertips gliding over his lips and cheekbone, as if memorizing.
She opened her mouth to speak, but he could not allow that, for talking would bring them face-to-face with the abyss of the future. Desperate to delay that moment, Ross covered her mouth with his, kissing her with all the power of his fears and yearning.
She made a small choked sound deep in her throat and responded with swift intensity, as if she too feared the end that was drawing near. Their tongues met and danced, their breath mingled, their arms twined. There was such vivid immediacy in her presence, such lightness in the flare of desire between them, that it was impossible to believe this might be the last time.
He might never again know the soft warm pressure of skin on skin, like this. Or feel the pebbled velvet texture of her nipples with his tongue, like this. Or hear the rough eagerness of her breath when he caressed her moist, intimate flesh, probing and teasing, like this, until she pulsed with anticipation. He could not bear it if he was never again to hear her sharp, eager inhalation when he entered her heated body, like this.
He tried to lose himself and his fears inside of her, wanting passion so blazing it would bind her to him forever. He tasted the anguish in her kiss, watching the vulnerability that shimmered across her face as she shuddered helplessly against him. He might never again know such union , the terrifying exultation of losing control, like this, oh, God, like this....
* * *
After passion there had been stillness and fragile peace, the folding together of satisfied bodies as they drifted into sleep, but when they woke again there was a faint, uneasy distance between them. Wanting to fill the silence, Juliet murmured, "If the hakim, the doctor, knew I have allowed a wounded man to exert himself so, he would never forgive me."
"I couldn't have been too badly wounded or such exertions wouldn't have been possible." Gingerly Ross explored the bandage on his head, wincing a little. "This will be sore for a while, and I seem to have used up most of the day's ration of energy, but I'll be happy to tell the hakim that your treatment was miraculously effective."
His expression sobered and he reached out to touch the ring suspended around her neck. Sure that he was on the verge of saying something about the future, Juliet pretended not to see the gesture.
With a cowardly desire to postpone the inevitable, she slipped out of the bed and said with forced brightness, "You must be hungry. Shall I have breakfast sent in? The melons are wonderful now, particularly after a week of dry desert food. Or there is just about anything else you might want. Except kippers, of course. Or oatmeal, but who would want oatmeal?"
"Juliet," he said gently. "You're babbling."
"I know." She ran a distracted hand through her hair and forced herself to slow down. "Having been away so long, there is much to be done today, particularly since Saleh has also been gone and won't be back for another ten days or so. I have to speak with the farm overseer, and the chief servants, and dozens of other things." All of which was true, but hardly the reason she was so nervous.
He gave her an ironic smile that said he knew exactly what was bothering her. "Then perhaps you had better get to work. For the time being, I'm inclined to take advantage of my invalid status to spend the day as lazily as possible. A few more hours of sleep should give me the energy to go to the hammam, after which I can sleep some more."