More than anything on earth, she wanted him to reciprocate, to tell her that he loved her even if it was a lie, or only a small part of a complicated truth.
But he did not. Instead he silenced her with his mouth, filling her so completely that there was no room for anything but passion and fulfillment. She dissolved into shuddering contractions that seemed as if they would go on forever.
He broke the kiss, making a hoarse wordless sound as his control finally splintered. She felt his rhythmic convulsions deep inside her, resonating until she could no longer tell his urgent flesh from her own. She had wanted them to be one, and for a few brief instants they were.
But as their throbbing limbs slowed and softened, silent tears were running down Juliet's face. Together they had touched the farthest limits of passion, a place of devastating joy that surpassed every amorous fantasy she had experienced during the long, lonely years.
She would have traded it all for love.
* * *
Ross had barely had the strength to finish removing his trousers and Juliet's veils so they could sleep in comfort. As he lay down and drew her into his arms, he murmured that if Zahra had walked into the room, he would have been unable to lift his head, much less anything else.
Juliet had given a low, satisfied chuckle and doused the lamp. Then they settled against each other and slept the sleep of exhaustion.
As dawn traced rosy streamers across the sky, they made love once more. This time desire was soft and sweet, with Juliet lying sprawled on top of Ross, her tangled hair tickling his cheek and throat as they moved in gentle tandem. Hard to believe that this tender, accommodating lady was the same wildcat who had left her marks all over his back and chest. But that was part of the mystery and wonder of her.
Looking back, it seemed to Ross that their marriage was a play with distinct acts, starting with the magic of discovery and progressing through fulfillment, estrangement, loss, and anguish. The latest, and possibly last, act was their fragile reconciliation in the face of danger.
Now it too was drawing to a close. Of all the stages, this had been the shortest and most intense.
It was a melancholy thought.
Juliet had said that she loved him. Ross knew better than to take seriously a declaration made in the throes of passion, for passion was a notorious liar. He was not even sure that he wanted to believe her, for that would open the door to fears and confusion too deep and painful to confront.
Thank God that in a few hours the time for action would finally be at hand. Life and death were so much simpler, so much more clear-cut, than love.
Chapter 23
Finally the time had come to depart. It was late and most of the household should be asleep, tired by the festivities of the night before and the turmoil that had surrounded Abdul Samut Khan's departure today. After looping the rope around the leg of the bed, Ross paused to study Juliet's face for a moment. "I really can't say that a mustache suits you."
She grinned. "But you look rather good in a black beard."
"Let me know if it starts coming off." His levity dropped away and he gave her a quick, intense kiss that said more than words ever could. They both knew that when they left this room, they were putting themselves in the hands of fate, but to dwell on that fact might weaken them.
Ross wrapped the doubled rope around himself, climbed over the windowsill, and disappeared from view. Juliet adjusted the veil of her tagelmoust over her face, thinking that if she had met her husband on the street, she might not recognize him. He was abandoning his European clothing and he was dressed in the robes and turban of a royal chamberlain, but that was just the simplest aspect of his disguise.
After an early dinner they had spent several rather giddy hours creating disguises, using materials that Saleh and Juliet had procured in the bazaar. First they had both applied a weak-solution blend of walnut juice and caustic to darken their faces and hands. Then Ross dyed his brows and lashes a dark brown.
A false beard and mustache, bought from a shifty-eyed merchant who asked no questions, changed his appearance most. Besides concealing his features, they were necessary because facial hair was almost universal among Central Asian men. Most of the dark beard was shaped to fit around Ross's chin and jaws and was attached with a resinous adhesive.
Juliet painstakingly applied individual hairs all around the edges of his beard and mustache to create a natural-looking hairline, for his disguise must be effective at very close quarters. The results would not hold up to a determined tug, but Ross now looked like a Bokharan of Afghan or Persian origin.
Juliet herself was less convincing, for her mustache did not conceal the fact that her features were more feminine than masculine. However, since she was wearing Bokharan dress, she could pass as a young male servant at a distance or in subdued light, and that was good enough for what she would be doing.