Silent Run(12)

“It’s not an act,” she murmured, knowing that she couldn’t faint. She had to stay awake so she could deal with Jake, not that it wouldn’t be appealing to escape the fury in his eyes—if only for a few minutes. His anger and accusations were burning a hole right through her heart.

But some inner voice warned her not to assume that everything he said was the truth. She had to trust her own instincts. Words were just words, and Jake could have an agenda for wanting her to believe that she was a horrible person. He could be the one who was lying.

Jake pushed the call button for the nurse. “Let’s get an objective opinion.”

“I’m okay,” she said. “It’s a lot of information to take in all at once.”

“Or you’re giving yourself a minute to think up another story.”

Before she could reply, the nurse entered the room, frowning when she saw Sarah dressed in her street clothes. “Now, where do you think you’re going?” Rosie asked.

“To find my daughter,” she said, even though she couldn’t summon up the strength to get back on her feet.

“You need to rest,” the nurse said. “Come on, now; lie down.”

“I don’t want to lie down,” Sarah protested, but knew she was too weak to win this battle. Seeing the resolve in the nurse’s face, she lay back on the pillows, stretching her legs out in front of her.

“That’s better.” The nurse untied Sarah’s shoes and pulled them off. “Your body has been through a lot. You need to give yourself time to recuperate. Why don’t I get you a sleeping pill?”

“No,” she said immediately, hating the idea of losing any more control over her life. “I don’t need a pill.”

“Well, if you find the pain gets worse and you can’t sleep, call me.” The nurse glanced over at Jake. “Maybe you should let her get some rest.”

Jake frowned but reluctantly nodded. “All right, but I want to talk to her doctor.”

“I’ll let Dr. Carmichael know you wish to speak to him,” the nurse replied. She moved over to the window and drew the curtains, then flipped off the overhead light as she left, leaving the room in shadows, only a small stream of light coming from the part in the curtains.

Jake moved slowly toward the door. He paused, giving Sarah a long, speculative look. “I’ll be right outside. Don’t even think of leaving here without me.”

Alone in the dark room, Sarah felt another wave of fear wash over her. Why couldn’t she remember anything about her life? She could feel the love for her child deep in her soul, but the only image she had of Caitlyn was the child in the photograph. And Jake—she didn’t remember him at all. Why wouldn’t she recall a man with whom she’d been intimate, the father of her child? At the very least, why couldn’t she feel the same love for Jake that she felt for Caitlyn? Had she loved him? Or was that just what he wanted her to believe?

Picking up the photograph of the two of them together at the carnival, she saw again the smile on her lips, the sparkle in her eyes. The emotion didn’t appear forced or fake. Jake looked happy, too. There was certainly no love in his eyes now. He hated her.

Jake claimed that she’d lied about everything in her past. If she’d done that, she must have had something to hide. There must have been a logical explanation for why she’d left him and taken their child, and more reasons for why she’d been driving a car that didn’t belong to her in an area of California in which she didn’t appear to live. But what were those reasons?

It was no wonder everyone looked at her with suspicion. She was suspicious of herself. She might not have a memory, but she did have a brain, and adding up all the bits and pieces she’d learned about herself revealed a very disturbing picture. Unless she was a raving lunatic, there had to be someone else in that picture, someone who had given her a reason to do what she’d done. Was it Jake?

Although she’d been eager to get rid of him, now she couldn’t help but wonder what he was doing. She didn’t like the idea of him talking to the police without her, or even to her doctor. Shifting restlessly on the bed, she finally sat up and made another attempt to stand. She took it slowly, fighting through the dizziness as she got to her feet. Once she felt steady, she walked across the room to the door and opened it just wide enough to take a look around.

Her room was at the far end of the hall. Across from her was a stairwell. At the other end of the hall was the nurses’ station, where several people in blue scrubs could be seen milling around. There were other random people in the hallway, but the most important figure was Jake, standing a few yards away with his back to her. He was talking on his cell phone.