Silent Run(104)

“Bye-bye,” Caitlyn said with a cheery smile, mimicking her mother’s wave.

Sarah would have liked to play the moment out, but Jake was waiting. As she turned to him, he held out his arms.

“I’ll take her now.” His tone was quiet and determined, as if he were afraid she was going to make a scene.

She hesitated for a long moment, her arms instinctively tightening around Caitlyn’s small body. For seven months it had been her and Caitlyn against the world. But for those same months Jake had sweated out the nights alone in fear and worry.

She had to let him take Caitlyn. He was a good man. He was a good father.

She was the one who had screwed up. She was the one who had brought danger to their lives. She’d made one mistake after another. And now it was time to do the right thing—the only thing. Still, she stalled. “She likes to sleep with her blanket at night, and if she’s fussy, you can read her a story. She likes the butterfly book or the book with the pink bears on the front.”

“I got it.”

“Oh, and if she gets really cranky, she likes the sound of the vacuum cleaner.”

Jake nodded. “Vacuum cleaner, right.”

“Applesauce. That’s her favorite after-dinner snack.”

“You wrote it all down, Sarah.”

Sarah kissed Caitlyn on the cheek, tears welling in her eyes and streaming down her face as she said, “I love you, baby. But you need to go with your daddy.”

Caitlyn’s tiny hands cupped Sarah’s face. Her daughter had no idea what was happening.

“Mama cry,” Caitlyn said, wiping her hand across Sarah’s wet face. “Mama sad.”

“I’m okay. I’ll see you soon, baby,” Sarah said, her heart breaking in two. With one last tight squeeze, she handed Caitlyn over to Jake.

Caitlyn, God bless her, gave Jake a happy, trusting smile, not realizing that he was about to take her away from her mother.

Jake stroked Caitlyn’s curls as he looked at Sarah. The pulse in his neck was beating fast. “You’ll see her tomorrow, you know. I’m not going to keep you out of her life. I wouldn’t do that to you.”

“I know. It’s just difficult. We still haven’t talked about how we’re going to take care of her in the future. There’s so much we haven’t discussed. This is happening so fast. I’m not ready.”

“We’ll talk when you get to San Francisco.” Jake cleared his throat. “It’s going to be all right. We’ll work it out.”

“Drive carefully,” she said.

“I will.” Jake put Caitlyn into her seat and strapped her in. When he got out of the car he gave Sarah a reassuring look. “Don’t worry, Sarah. She’ll be safe with me.”

“I know that. I trust you. I do.”

Jake started to say something and then changed his mind. He walked around the car and got in. He started the engine and pulled away quickly, giving her no chance to beg him to stay.

Catherine and Teresa came down the path. Sarah saw the questions in their eyes. They didn’t understand her actions, but they would support her anyway. “I have to give him this time. I owe him.”

“You’re so strong now,” Catherine commented. “The little girl who used to crawl into my bed at night is all grown-up and braver than I could ever be.”

“I’m not brave. I’m really not.” But Sarah waited until Jake’s car had turned the corner before she sank into Catherine’s loving arms and cried her heart out.

“It will be all right,” Catherine said soothingly.

“You’ll figure out a way to make it all work. Jake seems like a good guy,” Teresa put in. “And if he tries to take sole custody from you, we’ll kick his butt.”

“He is a good guy,” Sarah said, sniffing as she tried to pull herself together. “He’s the best. I ruined everything. I had the perfect family.”

“Oh, sweetie,” Catherine said with a sad smile. “Don’t you know yet that perfect doesn’t exist?”

“I still want it to.”

“Cinderella and the prince—your favorite fairy tale,” Teresa said. “How about we get some breakfast before I drive you to LA?”

“Are you sure you want to do that? I can rent a car.”

“Do you actually have an ID?” Teresa asked.

“Come to think of it, no, but I do have cash.” And now she remembered where she’d gotten the cash. She’d never put any of her paychecks into the bank. She’d cashed them and kept the money in the heater vent with her IDs. She wondered what it would be like to live her life above ground again, to be able to walk freely down the street, not be concerned whether anyone was following her. She couldn’t even imagine it.