“Oh!” I’m not really sure what else to say to that. I turn my head in the opposite direction. I don’t want her to see the jealous look that I’m sure is plastered on my face. I can’t be mad and I’m not. Nick and I have only been dating for a month, and that happened close to six months ago.
“Shannon, I’m sorry. I really have no filter. I tend to say whatever pops in my head.”
“No, it’s okay. I’m sure Nick has slept with a lot of women before me. He’ll be thirty-one in a couple of weeks after all.” I turn back to face her. I don’t care how many sexual partners Nick’s been with, but her…ughh…I just don’t like knowing this.
“If it makes you feel better, you’re the only repeat,” she says, and I don’t think she is joking. Am I dating a man whore? Probably. Even I hopped into bed with him after day two of meeting him. I give her a weak smile.
“Repeat, huh?”
“I’m serious, and it’s a bit weird. I never thought I’d see the day my brother let himself fall in love.” She beams.
“I wouldn’t go that far. We’ve only just met, you know,” I joke, but feel a ping in my chest. Certainly, we don’t love each other? Not yet anyway. Love takes time to grow and form. Nick and I have known each other two fucking minutes and didn’t I just end an engagement? Do I really want to be serious this quick? News flash, Shannon, it’s a little late for that. You already are serious with this man. We’ve only slept apart two nights since meeting, and that was only because he had to go on a business trip to Las Vegas.
“Hello?” I look up to find Nikki waving a hand in front of my eyes. “Where the fuck did you just go? We were talking and then you just zoned out.”
“Sorry,” I tell her and decide to change the subject. Enough about Nick and the subject of love. “So, how long have you and Jase been dating?” I ask as I feel the warm soft hands of the girl giving me a back massage start to knead the tight muscles below my shoulders. God…that feels so good. This is much needed after the month I’ve had. The message therapist is careful and stays away from my tender ribs and the center of my back area.
“Um…that’s complicated,” she sighs out. “It’s not an easy answer I guess is what I’m trying to say.” She looks away.
“Meaning?” I ask, not understanding. I asked an easy enough question. She turns her face back to look at me.
“Jason and I are complicated, or well, I am…complicated that is. Jason is pretty normal…pretty great actually.” She leans her head from side-to-side, and I hear the crack of her neck. “We started dating when I was fifteen and he was sixteen.” There’s a small smile across her lips. She is obviously in love with her boyfriend.
“Wow. Fifteen years, really…that’s amazing,” I tell her, but her smile fades at my enthusiasm.
“It's been fifteen years, yes, but we haven’t been together a solid fifteen. There have been others in-between.” She sighs then adds, “For both of us.”
“Oh,” I respond, not sure what to say. Her face has saddened, but I don’t know her well enough to say something that will cheer her up. “Everybody needs experience, right?”
“No, not when you know it’s the right person. When you know the person you’re with is the only one you’re meant to be with, you gain experience exploring each other, not accumulating multiple bed partners. I’ve known Jason was my forever since I was a kid.”
Damn. Nikki surprises me at every turn. She is so different from anyone I’ve ever met. She’s young, but wiser than I would expect a thirty year old to be.
“When people find out we have been together for as long as we have, the next question is always, when are you getting married? Followed by, don’t you want kids?” She spits it out like it’s a bad taste in her mouth.
“So, you and Jase don’t want to get married?” I ask for clarification.
“Oh, Jason wants to get married,” she states.
“And you don’t want to get married or have kids, I mean?” She looks up at me like a deer caught in headlights. I’m missing something here. She’s hesitant.
“Nick doesn’t want kids either,” she huffs out, not really answering the question, but giving me more information that I think I want to know. So, Nick doesn’t want a family. Not that we are even close to that type of relationship and I certainly don’t want kids now. I have a career and I’m content. The mommy bug hasn’t bitten this girl…yet. But I think one day I’ll want a family. I’m sure of that.