“Okay, we won’t rush things,” I said. “But I really want Aiden to come home with us. He deserves to be part of a family. He’s my son, Jake. He’s my boy. I let him down and he’s lived in hell for ten years. I need to make sure he has a healthy, happy home now. And that means he’s your son too and you need to act like you’re his father.”
Jake retracted his hand sharply and frowned. “You don’t think I’m acting like that already? I’m just trying to look out for him.”
“I didn’t… I mean… of course—”
“You don’t think I’m prepared to be a dad for him? I am, Emma, I am.” His cheeks flushed and the volume of his voice started to rise, which surprised me because Jake was generally such a soft-spoken man. “I mean for God’s sake, Emma, not many men would deal with this so well. Your teenage son just came back from the dead.” As his agitation grew, I sat there with my mouth flapping open and shut. “Everything was perfect. We have the baby on the way, the house is pristine, ready for the new arrival. You have your job. I had the promotion to head of the art department. Everything was perfect.” He lifted his glasses and rubbed his eyes.
“Hey.” I stood, moved towards him and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. “It’s still going to be perfect. So our family is a bit bigger than we expected; that’s okay, right? Aiden is going to make things even better. Bump has a big brother!” I rubbed his shoulders, finally realising that this hadn’t just been a huge strain on me, it had been a huge strain on him, too. Of course it had. I couldn’t begrudge him some adjustment time.
Jake’s hands spread up and over my arms, pulling them around his body so I was hugging him and he was clutching me tightly. “As long as you’re mine, I don’t care about everything else.” He kissed my hands. My belly pressed against the back of the chair, and I felt Bump move again. The pressure of her small feet made me ache, and I let out a moan of discomfort.
“Seems like Bump would agree with you,” I laughed.
I had to pull myself out of Jake’s grip to move away. I barely caught the expression on his face as I went back to the other side of the table. He seemed to be half-frowning, and I longed to look into his mind to know what he was thinking. I imagined his thoughts as dark, terrifying and cold, isolated from the world, like a lonely boy bracing himself against the freezing cold wind on a snowy mountain top.
“How long is Rob staying?” he asked. “He’ll have to go back to the army soon, right?”
I eased myself back into my chair. “I don’t know. He needs to get to know Aiden again, so… However long it takes.”
Jake’s fingers drummed the surface of the table. “Do you think that’s a good idea?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, Aiden has been through hell for ten years. Then he comes back, he gets to know his dad again, and then…” He lifted his arms in the air in an over-exaggerated shrug. “He’s gone. Back to the army or whatever whim makes him leave again.”
“Rob wouldn’t leave on a whim.”
“He did last time.”
“That was…” I frowned. Was it more than a whim? Rob had never expressed any desire to join the army before Aiden’s disappearance. Before then he’d bummed around, either working in his parents’ B&B or taking up bricklaying work with local builders.
“What? Different? Yes, it was, because you had lost a son and he abandoned you when you were at your most vulnerable. You know, sometimes I think you have a short memory because you’ve forgotten how bad it got.”
“I haven’t forgotten, trust me.” I couldn’t help it; my eyes dropped from his gaze and I tried not to think about that time. I stared hopelessly at my tea, wishing the memories away, wishing they’d slip into a black hole.
“I picked up those pieces, Emma.”
“I know.”
“It’s not something I regret. Having you in my life has been the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I mean it. I really do.”
“But it’s not just me anymore,” I said. “I come with baggage. I come with a son who is back from the dead. That’s just how my life is.” I felt a manic giggle rise up, threatening to spill out, but I managed to keep myself under control. I glanced across at two elderly women stirring their tea. This wasn’t the time or the place to lose it.
He sighed and reached across the table to take my hands. “I love you, more than anything. You, the baby, and now Aiden, are my family, and no one hurts my family.”