In his mind he was thinking ‘killed Sikes’, but he stopped himself because he couldn’t have done it either.
“It’s ok,” I assured to soothe him. “It’ll all work out. I’m not worried.”
“Well that’s something new,” he mused with a smile. “And about time.”
“I know between Peter and you, I’ll be safe, and you’re here with me so you’ll be safe, too. I’ve got nothing to worry about,” I sighed easily and leaned my head back.
He grabbed my hand as we drove back to the house and squeezed it. He was practically oozing with adoration and it warmed me all over.
“I love you, Maggie.”
“I love you, too.” I smiled at him, but then got a thought. “How come you don’t call me Mags, Magpie or Maggsie or whatever like everyone else does?”
“Do you want me to?”
“Not really. I’ve just never met someone who didn’t eventually make up some little nickname for me. Dad, Bish, everyone called me Mags in school, the teachers, even Chad.”
“Ding ding, we have winner,” he sang.
Light bulb. “Aha. You don’t want to because that’s what he called me.”
“Yeah.”
“And Kyle, too,” I realized.
“Bingo.”
“I see.”
“Besides, you don’t look like a Mags to me. I’ll stick with baby if you don’t mind.”
“You know I don’t mind,” I said grinning.
“Freeze, just like that.” We happened to be stopping at the red light and he leaned toward me. “Keep that smile pasted on that pretty face until I say stop, ok? I miss seeing that face.”
He took my chin between his thumb and finger and kissed my lips sweetly. It only took a second and I was nodding, breathing funny and blinking my eyes to shed the cross-eyedness. I know he could feel my heart speed up.
He smirked smugly at me as he pressed the gas to go and we made our way through one of the prominent shopping streets.
He was right. Everything looked very ‘Californy’ today, in the sunlight. Just like TV. Palm trees and shopping signs everywhere, bikini clad girls on every street. Blonde, blonde and more blonde, even the store mannequins were blonde.
We ran into a little mom and pop shop for some groceries near the house and I secretly laughed as he grabbed my favorite foods and grinned at me.
I helped him bring everything in from the Jeep and put it all away. The house was still empty of anyone else and it didn’t look like anyone had been there either.
“Wanna go out to the beach? I can’t get Dad on the phone, but I’m sure whoever they’re sending will be here soon. I for one am not worried about it.”
“Me neither. I’ll go put on my suit.”
I went to the bathroom and put it on. Once again I couldn’t believe that was me I was looking at. I’d forgotten my cover-up dress so I peeked out and heard him banging around in the kitchen, putting up groceries. I made a break for it. Just as I reached my bag he came around the corner and his mind slammed into mine with his desire and effort; the effort to keep himself in check and not rush me even though his insides were screaming for me.
I found my dress and went to pull it over my head but he was there in front of me, stopping me with his hands covering mine. He was wearing his suit, too, only his suit, and I felt my skin burn hot.
“Nice suit,” he said huskily.
“It wasn’t the skimpiest I could’ve bought,” I defended.
“Thank God for that,” he muttered and pulled me to him.
He gripped me tightly around my waist and his mouth took mine with hungry abandon. His lips moved against mine with intent and purpose. His tongue and teeth played with my lips and I gasped at the pleasure of it. When he pushed my hair back from my shoulder and kissed my neck, I shivered. Then his hands slid down to glide from my hip to the back of my thigh and then back up, all the while, his lips nibbled my collar bone and throat. He’d never been this focused on exploring me before.
I swore stars bounced behind my eyes at the intensity of his wanting, his love, his need to consume me and be consumed.
I finally understood what he meant by that. Our bodies were made to be enthralled and taken over by our significant. I wanted him to and I knew without a doubt he wanted me to. It was instinct.
So I pushed him backwards as he continued to ravish me, his chin and lips rubbing against the soft skin of my throat and jaw. When we reached the chair I pushed him down to sit in it and sat on his lap, one leg on either side of him.
“Maggie,” he groaned, “you’re killing me-”
I stopped his feeble protest with a kiss and felt his hands tighten and grasp at the spot where my hips and thighs connect. I opened my mind wide and willing and pushed into his. I saw his protective barrier for me and pushed beyond that, past everything and straight to the core. I no longer cared if it was too much and took me over; I wanted it to.
When I finally felt him all around me, everywhere, in my veins, my mind, my blood, on my skin, I focused on him. I felt his shock at what I was doing, him realizing, his needing wonder and want to do it, then his restraint as he pushed me out.
“Maggie, wait,” he said against my lips as he barely pulled back enough to speak. “I think we should just hold on a minute.”
“For what?” I whispered and pulled his bottom lip between mine.
He moaned and growled, his harsh breaths coasted across my face and neck. “Maggie. I don’t...”
He didn’t want to hurt me. He thought he might get carried away. His father told him mutuality was just as good as and better in some ways than real sex because it was so intimate and something that only the two of us can do with each other. There was no way to be any closer physically or mentally, but he also told him it was very easy to lose ourselves in it and Caleb was worried that I’d get too wrapped up in it to stop at just mutuality and then regret it later.
He wanted to so bad but needed me to be absolutely sure that it’s what I wanted and not just be going on his feelings in my mind; me feeling his longing for me.I placed my hands on either side of his face.
“You would never hurt me. I know that more than anything else, especially after being in your mind. You’d never do anything that I didn’t want to do and I’m not worried about losing ourselves either. Haven’t I always kept you a gentleman?” I joked and kissed his dimple.
“Baby, you know I want to, but why do you? Is it because of me? I can’t help it, I know you’ve seen in my mind that I want to, but I can wait. I’m not pushing.”
“I know. I want to because I love you.” He looked at me, my face close to his. His mind was a tangle of emotions and as his eyes roamed my face I smiled in happiness, seeing his surrender. I pushed back into his mind, wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed his lips before laying my forehead against his. He pulled me closer against him on his lap with his hands on my hips and I felt him enter my mind, like the click of a lock.
I heard my swift intake of breath at the completion of our melding but didn’t feel my breaths. I felt nothing but him. His feelings of want, his chest rising under his breaths, his hands on my hips as his fingers that flexed felt like my own. It was so very strange to feel his cold blood running through his hot veins. Then I was me again but he was still there, in me and consuming me.
His mind was always the same, adoration and concern flooding my mind for me and his longing to please his family, to make us all happy. It made me love him even more for it.
More thoughts flew to me in an awkward lineup as we pressed further into each other’s head. I knew he was feeling and seeing the same things but different, because it was all me. I saw a vision of him in kindergarten as he read his first word, bat. Then I saw his dad teaching him to ride his motorcycle at his graduation party. A flash of him mowing the grass at his house, the smell of summer and green surrounding me. How much he loved BBQ pizza. He missed his friends from school but would leave them all for a chance at Arizona. He admired his professors.
Then, I felt the hand on my hip move higher, gliding up my spine to my neck and back down again in a slow torturous caress. It felt mind-blowing. I held a gasp in check when I looked down to see his hands hadn’t moved from my hips. My gaze jerked to his and behind him I saw the blue energy ribbons were bouncing in the air around us again, going through our bodies, and filling the room.
He looked around in awe and then looked back to me, holding my gaze. He smiled sweetly. Not smugly, not cockily, just Caleb. He moved his hand on my back again with his mind and I shivered.
This is what it’s like. We see it all. Past, present, wants, memories, things we want to do. We can do anything in mutuality with each other without actually doing it and it’s all magnified and extreme.
His caution and bashfulness coated his words. It was strange to feel his every feeling, hear his every word in my head and yet not be able to tell what was his and what was mine anymore.
I focused on my hand in my mind, it coming down from his neck, sliding along to splay my fingers against the hard skin of his chest and ribs, then his stomach. His breaths came out fast and he laughed nervously.
“That feels amazing,” he whispered against my mouth and then kissed it. “Do it again,” he ordered gruffly.
I laughed, too, and as I formed the thought to do what he asked, I heard the knock to the tune of Shave and a Haircut on the front door.