She listened and sympathized, but in the end did what she always did. She was an awesome listener but never told me what to do. She didn’t make suggestions or criticize. She just listened and I loved her for it.
When it was time for my break, I sat with Caleb and brought him some sweet tea and a cheesy bacon burger with fries.
“Where did you get this bracelet?” he asked as he fingered the star charm.
“They gave it to me,” I hooked my thumb over my shoulder towards the grill, “for graduation.” He nodded. “What did Kyle get for a graduation present?”
“A car.”
“I thought he already had a car?”
“He did, but his parents got him a new one, the first one was used. The silver Audi is his.”
I balked.
“What? I thought that was his dad’s car.”
“Nope. Kyle just thought his car was messed up and in the shop. His dad actually pulled the battery cables off before school one morning so Kyle would think it was broken down.” He chuckled.
“Wow. That Audi was pretty nice for a college kid.”
“He’s spoiled. Only child,” he scoffed.
I smirked at him. “You’re pretty spoiled, too, pal. A truck and a motorcycle?” I shook my head at him. “There are carless kids in Milwaukee and you have two! Disgraceful,” I joked.
“Hey!” he laughed. “I'll have you know my truck is a hand me down from my dad and that bike was my graduation present.”
“Oh, well that makes it better.” I grinned at him.
“So, what did your dad get you?”
“Nothing.” I smiled sadly. “He didn’t even stand when they called my name.”
“I’m sorry.” I shook my head at him. “I wish I’d paid more attention at the ceremony now. I might have remembered you from when you crossed the stage.”
“Yeah. That iPod is not good for you.”
“You already know me so well.” He smirked and rubbed my feet under the table with his, making me laugh.
“Ok, back to work, both of us.”
~ ~ ~
Later that night after Caleb took me home and we both parted ways to get dressed, I was on the back of his bike. This time, headed back to the place I never thought I’d go again, the high school, the gym to be precise.
I wasn’t even sure why I wanted to go. If it wasn’t for Beck’s begging... I wasn’t sure why exactly but we were underway so there was no point in stopping now. Caleb seemed to be excited about the idea of seeing the people I went to school with, besides Kyle and Chad, excited to see pictures of me during school functions. I’d been so out of the loop this year, out of touch with friends, out of focus. I had no idea what they were going to do tonight, but I was pretty sure it wouldn’t involve me since I’d barely been involved myself all year.
We pulled into the parking lot and he helped me take my helmet off, smoothing my hair back. I was nervous for some reason. I felt like everyone there would be able to tell that I was different somehow. We started walking towards the school and my heart beat faster and faster the closer we got.
“Hey,” he stopped in front of me, “we don’t have to go in there.”
I swallowed and looked around the school parking lot. There weren’t a whole lot of cars because this was only for the senior class but still...a gym full of my peers whom I abandoned for the past ten months.
He read my anxiety and started pulling me back to the bike. I halted my steps.
“No, it’s ok. Let’s go in.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yeah. It’s stupid to be nervous anyway. It’s not like anyone is going to care that I’m here.”
I had visions of prom, streamers and flashing lights with glittery signs when we entered. But what I got was flashbacks that made me want to simultaneously smile and run.The decorations were our school pictures, prom pics, candids at lunch. Big, blown up pictures lined the walls and the centerpieces on the tables were a school pom-pom and yearbook opened to the page of the people who were assigned to sit there alphabetically. I looked around at the photos as we made our way down the wall towards the tables and laughed at one of Beck and I sitting in art last year with paint on our faces, laughing.
Caleb smiled at it and let me tug and pull him as I got more enthusiastic about the photos and memories splayed out everywhere I looked. Then I heard my name across the room and turned to see Beck and Nicolette skipping across the gym, arm in arm towards us.
“Mags!” Nicolette cried and squeezed me. They both squealed and bounced around me, drawing attention to us and I cringed. “Oh. My. Goodness. You look so fab. Where have you been, girl?”
“Uhum,” Beck said grinning and pointed to Caleb. “That’s where she’s been.”
Nicolette perused him openly and gave a cocked little grin before coming up to him and holding her hand out.
“Nicolette.”
“Caleb,” he said politely and shook her hand quickly before releasing her and coming to put an arm around my waist. Her eyes bugged a little but she grinned all the same. “You girls ran track with Maggie?”
“And Cheerleading and Volleyball and just about everything else.”
He looked down at me with a raised eyebrow, his lips parted.
Cheerleading? That totally just blew your little work outfit out of the water.
I pressed my lips together to keep from giggling.
It was only ninth and tenth grade. I did it because my mom wanted me to. I dropped out, it wasn’t for me.
And yet my fantasy lives.
I smiled and tried not to laugh, to look normal and casual though an extremely hot guy was speaking into my mind about his fantasies.
Then an enraptured mass squeal erupted as Beck and Nicolette waved. The group of girls who I used to know all swarmed around us like they hadn’t seen us in years, though it had been days. Technically, I guess it had been longer for me.
“Magsie! Where have you been?”
“Oh, we missed you at the meet last month. We could’ve used you when Brayers came up-”
“Dang, girl. You look so cute tonight!”
“Ok! Ok! I got it! Let’s do a cheer! For old time sake!”
Meghan was the instigator, but everyone seemed to be on board and clapped and squealed as they made their way to the front of the room.
“Mags. You, too!”
I turned to the traitorous voice and was shocked to find it was Beck. “I haven’t cheered in two years,” I protested and clung to Caleb’s arm.
“Oh, come on. We’re doing the spirit cheer. It stays the same every year, it's tradition. Come on.”
“No, no way.” She had to know why I didn’t want to do it. For the spirit cheer you paired with a football player. We danced and slid around them and at the end they lifted us in their arms. Chad was always my partner and there was no way in hell or high water she was getting me on that stage. “Go ahead, Beck. Really, I’m not going.”
Beck pouted, but straightened up, glancing behind me warily. She bit her lip and bee lined for the stage. I didn’t even need to turn to know Chad was behind me. Caleb also must have known and I felt his grip tighten on my hand. I remembered what he said about seeing Chad again, after I’d slipped and said that Chad had kinda sorta forced me to kiss him, and I felt really stupid for coming here now.
“Maggie, come on, we’re an uneven number without you,” he coaxed and smiled that smile that used to make me smile, too.
“No, thanks. You go ahead.”
He had the gall to reach for my unoccupied hand.
“I don’t think so,” Caleb said softly with clear inflection and pulled me a little closer to him.
I felt protectiveness, even some possessiveness, and a flare of anger burst towards me from Caleb. He was angry at Chad for kissing me and even angrier that he had the gumption to reach for me and pull me from Caleb like he had the right to. I put my other hand on his arm, hoping to draw even more of his anger away. I visibly saw him take a deep breath and was proud that he kept himself in check at least, though his anger was practically crackling in the air between them.
Chad seemed to debate whether this was a fight he wanted or not. Apparently ‘not’ won out and he shrugged though I could see his eyes latched hurtfully to mine.
“Ok. Whatever. Just thought we’d have one last hoorah. You know.”
“Yeah, but I don’t want to, ok? It’s been too long. I would just make a fool of myself. You go ahead. Have fun,” I soothed, feeling torn and wanting to end the squabble.
He smiled sadly and nodded as he walked away.
I turned to look around and saw we had quite the audience, people almost begging, eyes glistening with excitement, for there to be a fight. I flushed and turned back to Caleb just as they started to do their cheer. I barely saw it as my own memories flooded me. In no time they were done and making their way back to us in a titter of cheers and giggles.
“It’s starting. They sat us alphabetically so, we’re over here,” Beck said reluctantly and pulled Nicolette away. “See you tomorrow night, right?”
“Yeah. Absolutely.”
“Tomorrow night?” Caleb asked and I felt him push into my mind for the answer. “Yeah, sounds fun.”
I just shook my head at him as we made our way to the table. Luck would have it alphabetically, that Kyle was at the next table, in the chair right next to ours.
“Hey!” he said grinning and pulled me into a very intimate hug. “I didn’t think you’d come.”