“The tables have turned. I guess since you’re the one walking away this time, it’s my turn to see what it feels like.”
“And so far?” I joked.
“It sucks.”
I laughed and so did he. I walked up to him closely and peered up at his face. He looked amused. “Caleb, I want you to go home and pine for me until I’m done with this other guy.” He groaned and grabbed me around my waist making me laugh. “Ok, ok. Go to Kyle’s and wait a while until I’m done here. Then come back and I’ll be waiting for you.”
He laid his head against mine, his hands on my hips. “I can do that,” he said softly.
“Bye.”
“Bye, gorgeous.” He left with a crooked smile, his dimple flashing at me. I waved and turned to see a very pissed Chad.
“Took you long enough. You act like you’ll never see him again,” he spat as I made my way to him.
“Jealous?” I got right to the point as I heard the bike crank and drive away.
“Yes!” he yelled. “You never acted like that over me.”
“And neither did you.”
“Look,” he stepped closer, “I wanted to talk to you, seriously. Can we go inside?”
“I’d rather not. Dad’s acting weird,” I said though I was cold, I just wrapped Caleb’s jacket tighter around me.
“Since when do you ride motorcycles?”
“Since Caleb drives one.”
“Where did you meet this guy anyway?”
“This guy goes to Tennessee, but he was in town for Kyle’s grad party.”
“You just met him the other night?” he asked loudly coming to stand in front of me. “You don’t even know him, Maggie!”
“Yes, Chad, I just met him. Why do you care? What do you want to talk about?”
“Us,” he admitted softly. He closed his eyes and put his hand behind his neck, sighing. “You were always just Maggie. I’d been with you forever. I didn’t want things to change, but when I thought about going to college without you, I didn’t hurt.” I looked at him sharply. “I’m gonna be honest, Mags. I knew I’d miss you, but I wouldn’t ache for you. I thought we’d still be friends, still talk and eventually...I don’t know. So I figured it would be easier on you if I broke it off. But you totally did the opposite of what I expected and I’ve spent all year suffering for it.”
He grabbed my jacket clad upper arms gently in his hands. I tried to pull away, but he held me firm. I sighed and gave in.
“Look,” he continued, “I know I messed up, but I didn’t see how much until you weren’t there anymore. I missed you so much. I didn’t expect that. I’ve wanted to get back together all year, but you kept blowing me off so I figured I’d just wait until I left for college and you’d eventually come around. I never thought in a million years you’d start dating someone else.”
“Why is that so hard to believe?”
“It's not—well it shouldn’t have been. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. I took you for granted. Everyone here knew you were mine this whole time. I knew no one would go after you. Kyle sure shocked me though. But I just thought you’d wait for me. That one day we’d be back together, where we belong.”
I wanted to scream. Was this not exactly what I wanted not five nights ago? Was this not what I’d hoped and wished for? Once again, his timing was horrible.
“Chad, I’m sorry. But I don’t want that anymore.”
“Come on, Mags. He doesn’t know you.” His hands moved up a little. “He doesn’t fill up your life of seventeen years like I do. It’s always been us. Can he remember every time you’ve ever been sick? Can he count how many bones you’ve broken? I used to throw mud at you when our parents took us to the beach when we were four. Can that guy say that?”
“No. But that guy didn’t dump me for college football either.” Chad leaned his head back to look at the sky in frustration, but I kept going. “He didn’t dump me to save me from myself. Chad, he does things you never did. You never touched me, I mean really touched me. You never looked at me the way he does. You wanted nothing more than a comfort zone girlfriend.”
“I know that and I was an idiot for not seeing what I had. All I want is a second chance. I can touch you, I want to,” he insisted and reached for my face, but I backed away.
“You can’t, Chad, not now. I’m sorry that things ended up like this for you, but I’m happy. Don’t you want that for me?”
“I think you’re angry at me and letting this guy come in and tell you everything you want to hear.”
I wish I could tell him how wrong he was, but it looked like I’d have to settle for looking like the sulky ex-girlfriend hell bent on a rebound relationship.
“I’m sorry, Chad. I’ve got to go, ok? I promised I’d keep in touch and I will. I hope everything works out great for you at Florida.”
I started to walk around him. I should have seen it coming, but I didn’t. He grabbed my arm to halt me and swung me around. His hands gripped my arms and his mouth came down on mine gently, but with force.
My mind screamed at me to make him stop. That little thing I’d felt when Kyle held my hand, that feeling that I was doing something wrong, was a full force assault on my senses now. I tried to push him away, but he held me tight. He pulled me closer and opened my mouth with his, brushing his tongue against my teeth, searching. He groaned when he found my tongue. I was so confused. Chad had never kissed me like this, with passion and whole bodies, and now he was trying to prove a point.
That he could and he wanted to.
But I didn’t.
I pushed him with all my strength, but he held me still. I focused my mind and tried to think of something. My mind cleared a little and seemed to lead the way as he continued to press, and when his hand came up to tug in my hair, I knew I had to end it. I pushed the thought through to stop. I thought it red hot and angry for him to stop. Then he released me with a gasp and grabbed his lip.
“Did you bite me?” he said in shock.“No,” I answered and rubbed my lips, as if to rub him off.
“It felt like you...shocked me.”
I held in my smug satisfaction, knowing I’d caused whatever it was he felt. I had no idea how, but didn’t doubt that I’d done something.
“I don’t know, Chad. Maybe it was the universe telling you that you shouldn’t keep kissing a girl once she tries to push you away.”
He paled. “That’s not what—I wasn’t. I just wanted to make you see that I do want you.”
“And you did. Maybe if you’d kissed me like that last year, we’d still be together,” I said softly and made my way to the door. I turned once. “I really do hope everything works out for you, but I’m happy where I am.” And then I closed the door.
“Maggie Masters.” I startled at the harshness of my father’s voice. “I did not raise you to behave this way.”
I turned on the light in the foyer, but didn’t see him so I peeked in the kitchen. He was standing at the sink in front of the window. Aha. So he saw Chad’s little love display. Great.
“That was Chad, Dad, not me.”
“You let him.”
“Did you see what happened? Because if you did, you must have seen him grab me.”
How was I being blamed for this?
“Maggie, I’m not just talking about Chad. You can’t lead these boys on like this.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You leave with one guy this morning and not too long after another boy comes by, the Jacobson boy, Kyle, and then tonight, Chad sat on the steps for over an hour waiting on you. You can’t do this, it’s not right.”
“Ok. First, Caleb is the one, ok. He’s the only one I’m interested in. Kyle is a friend. And Chad dumped me. How was I supposed to know he was sitting here waiting for me like that?”
“Ok,” he conceded and sat in one of the chairs at the table. “So Caleb. What can I expect with you two?”
“I don’t know what you mean,” I said as I jumped to sit on the counter.
“I mean are you going to get silly about him and try to follow him to college or something.”
I sat and looked at him. There was no point in lying. He couldn’t stop me from seeing Caleb; it was literally life or death.
“Maybe. I haven’t decided yet.”
“So...being boy crazy is what it’s going to take to get you to go to college?” he said dryly and his mouth turned up in amusement.
“What?” I asked, stunned by his question.
He actually seemed happy about the idea.
“You always had such big plans until last year, always had good grades. I assumed you’d go, but after this year I wasn’t sure if you still wanted to or not. You’ve barely made it to high school every day, let alone thinking about college.”
“I do want to,” I admitted, “but no college is going to accept me, Dad. I blew it.”
“Well you won’t know for sure until you try.”
“So you’re saying you won’t have a problem if I enroll at Tennessee with Caleb next semester?”
“Well you won’t be enrolling with him, you’ll be enrolling in the college that he happens to attend one year ahead of you. But yes, I’m saying I wouldn’t have a problem with that. In fact, I’d be thrilled for you to go to college. That is if Caleb doesn’t mind you tagging along, of course.”