Significance (Significance #1)(14)

I already felt and knew that what he was saying was true. The minute I told Caleb no about walking me home, my body clenched with the knowledge that I’d leave him here.
“Shut up, Kyle! You claim to be her friend, so stop it already. You think you’re helping right now?”
Caleb took my arm gently and pulled me with him to the back gate. I looked back and saw Kyle and his father in a heated discussion. Gran, Rachel and Jen were looking at me with nothing but sympathy. They’d been through this. They knew what it was like. And I was already hurting.
“I’m so sorry, Maggie. I don’t know what’s gotten into him.”
“It’s ok.”
“No, it’s not.” He spoke gently and my head started to hurt, the pounding behind my eyes suddenly almost unbearable. My eyes closed and pinched. He sighed and framed my face with his hands and I instantly felt better and opened my eyes to look up at him. “It’s so much worse when you’re upset.”
“I’ll live. I just didn’t want to be in the middle of all...that, ya know?”
“Yeah. Me neither,” he said dryly. “Are you ok, now?”
“Yeah. So, Arizona? Is that true?” I asked, still looking up at him.
“Yes.” His thumbs moved across my cheeks, causing my eyelids to flutter with pleasure. “And I never would have said a word to him if I’d known he’d tell everyone. This’ll stir up crap, for sure.” 
“So,” I said thoughtfully, “we’ve got Arizona and some sport you love to play, that I have yet to learn what it is. What else?”
“What?”
“I’m making a list.”
He laughed softly. “I’ll give you the full list tonight, which I can’t wait for, by the way.”
I nodded. “Ok. I guess I’ll see you in a couple hours.”
“I’ll pick you up at five thirty.”
“In your convertible,” I teased.
“Absolutely,” he said, grinning.
“Ok.”
I wanted to move. I wanted to. He knew what I needed. “I want you to go home and wait for me. It’ll be better this way, now you can see your dad for a little bit before we leave. Everything will be fine,” he crooned soothingly. “And I’ll see you very soon.”
“Ok.”
I started to pull away, but he pulled me closer and kissed my forehead. I looked up and smiled at him before pressing through the big wooden gate, not looking back at his multitude of family watching our every move.
Chapter Seven
I walked home slowly. I felt the pull to go back to Kyle’s house. It didn’t seem quite as bad since I understood what was happening this time.
Kyle only lived six blocks away. I paused at the red light and remembered the last time I was here on the other side; watching a dark haired boy bob his head to his music. I’d thought he was so normal, so human, but boy how wrong had I been?
The light turned red and I looked before making my way across. As soon as I turned the corner I saw her flames of red curls blowing in the breeze. Her scowl was firmly in place as I made my way down my walkway.
Rebecca.
“So, you’ve completely just cut me out. Is that it?”
“What? No. Look, I know seeing me with Kyle last night looked bad but we aren’t dating, far from it. I didn’t leave you out of the loop. I promise.”
“It certainly looked like there was a loop and that I was out of it.”
“Nope. No loop. Nada. Kyle is just a friend. He was...helping me with something last night, that’s all.”
“You know it’s been a week and a half since I’ve even talked to you. You haven’t returned any of my text or voicemails, even at the diner.”
“Beck, I’m sorry, all right? I’ve been having a hard time lately. I just didn’t want to drag you down with me.”
She stood up off the steps and came to stand in front of me. “Mags, you know better than that. I’m a glutton for drama and baggage. You know this,” she joked but stepped forward a little and looked at me seriously. “You could have talked to me.”
“I just didn’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to think about it.”
“Look. Your mom is a skeez for leaving, but your dad has no right to treat you like this just because he’s angry or depressed or whatever. He needs to chill and take a Prozac. He’s still your dad. He still has responsibilities.”
“I know, but he apparently doesn’t, or doesn’t care.”
“So you thought Kyle - class clown Kyle - could help you with your problems and not me?”
She looked so hurt and bothered, I felt terrible. I had ignored her and purposely avoided her and there really was no good reason for it.
“I’m sorry. Really.” I grabbed her purple nail polished hand and squeezed. “You’re right. I’ve been avoiding you. I’ve been avoiding everyone and everything. I completely screwed myself this year and I didn’t know what to do. I just didn’t want you to see me like that. I was almost as bad as my dad.”“That’s impossible. Your dad’s practically catatonic,” she scoffed.
“That’s what I said.” I grinned at her. “I love you, Becky Wecky.”
“Ahh, you haven’t called me that since second grade.” She smiled widely and it felt so good to see. I missed her. “I love you, too, Maggie Waggie.”
She grabbed me in a hug and squeezed me. Then she grabbed my hand and started to tow me down to the sidewalk.
“Come on. You’re spending the night at my house.”
I stopped her. “I can’t. I have a...date.”
She screwed up her lips. “Kyle, again.”
“No. Kyle’s cousin, Caleb.”
“Wow.” She grinned deviously. “You’re really making the rounds, aren’t you?”
“Shut up!” I yelled playfully. “I’m not dating Kyle.”
“So, Caleb is Kyle’s cousin. Where did you meet him?”
“At the main street red light. He stepped into traffic and I pulled him back.”
“What! For reals?” she shrieked.
“Yeah.”
I realized with painful acceptance that that was about all I could tell her. Everything else was complicated and crazy and unbelievable. I was going to have to keep secrets from her. Mmmmm. That sucked.
“Wow. So you saved him and now you’re going on a date? When did this happen?”
“Last night.”
“Ahh. He’s smitten because you saved him and asked you out to thank you. How cute.”
I felt a sudden bristle at her nonchalant words. “It’s a little more than that.”
“What do you mean?”
I sighed and relented. There was no point. “Nothing.”
“So, how old is he?”
“Nineteen. He’s a sophomore at U of T.”
“Really? Football?”
“Not sure. But he’s studying to be an architect.”
“Oooh. A money maker. Sweet.” She sighed dreamily. “I bet he drives a Lexus.”
“I don’t know, but it’s a convertible.”
“Definite Lexus. Is he hot?”
“He’s perfect,” I answered quickly, my mouth answered without my permission. I blushed and she laughed.
“Aha! Wow. You really like him, huh? So, what time is Caleb coming to pick you up?”
My heart clenched each time she said his name. I tried to focus on her face and remain calm. My fingers were starting to twitch.
“Five thirty.”
“What?” she exclaimed loudly and grabbed my arm. “That’s only two hours. We gotta get you ready!” 
“What? Why? What’s wrong with what I have on?”
“Nothing, but this is a college guy, babe.” She pulled me as she walked backwards. “They expect a certain kind of girl. And no offense, but your age isn’t exactly going for you right now. Unless he’s a pedophile. Do you think-”
“Beck! Eew! Stop!”
“Anyway, he’s been at college for a year already, seeing all those mature girls with their expensive cars and flat ironed fake blonde hair. It’s a lot to compete with.”
“I’m not going to worry about that.”
I wanted to contradict her. Tell her I was his soul mate. That he would like me even if I wore a sack. I knew this must be true because I could picture Caleb in one and I still wanted him. I giggled to myself at the picture, but then I remembered what he wore today. His yellow shirt and how much I liked looking at it on him. I suddenly wanted to look my best. Not just ok, not just presentable. I wanted him to look at me and think that I looked…amazing.
That brought me back to this morning in my bathroom when he thought I looked gorgeous in blue, how he loved my freckles. And how even after all that I still felt young and inadequate.
I wanted him to want me because he wanted me. Not because he was imprinted with me and couldn’t help himself. So I smiled at Beck and told her to have her way with me.
“Really!” she squealed and she shut my bedroom door. “You never let me play doll with you!”
“I know, now’s your chance. Don’t go overboard,” I warned.
“Ok. What are we going for here? Where’s he taking you?”
“A barbeque joint in his home town.”
“Boo. That gives me nothing to work with.” She pressed a finger to her lips as she thought. “What do you want?”
“I just want him to look at me and think there’s no one else he’d rather be with.”