“I know it,” she said wearily. “Thanks.” She moved down the hall. Rest for a while, then call Mom. It was going to be a terrible conversation. But she wouldn’t tell her right away about that horrible word that kept echoing in her mind.
Mereor.
* * *
“DEAR GOD,” DIANE WHISPERED. “I can’t believe it. Dean?”
“I can’t believe it either,” Kendra said. “I’m sick about it. I can imagine how you’re feeling.”
“I don’t know how I’m feeling. I think I’m numb.” She was silent. “No, I’m angry. I’m furious. That son of a bitch.”
“Yes.”
“I want to cut his throat,” Diane said. “Dean was … special.”
Kendra was silent.
“And you’re feeling guilty. I can feel it,” Diane said. “Don’t be stupid. It wasn’t your fault.” She was silent for an instant. “You expect me to ask you to bow out because I’m afraid for you. I’m tempted to do it. But that won’t help Dean, and it won’t help you. Myatt is going to keep going after you because that’s the nature of the vicious bastard. Anyone who would go after a nice guy like Dean just to punish you will just keep on until someone stops him.” Her voice was steel hard. “You stop him, Kendra. And if you can find a way, let me help. I’d like that, and I think Dean would like it, too.”
“You can help by staying safe and far away from Myatt,” she said unsteadily. “Is everything okay up there?”
Diane didn’t answer for a moment. “We’re protected and there have been no signs of Myatt. It appears he’s been busy in other areas.” She paused. “I’m going to hang up now. I’m going to have a good cry, then I’ll call Dean’s father and break the news to him.”
“Good night, Mom. I’ll call you tomorrow.” She hung up the phone.
The call had been as difficult as she had thought it would be. Her mother had not responded how she had thought she would, but she was always unpredictable.
But her basic instincts were infallible.
She had realized that the first order of business was to mourn the dead. Dean Halley deserved that Kendra as well as her mother think of him and his life first. His murderer who had taken that life should be second on the list.
She lay down, her cheek on the pillow.
Good-bye, Dean. We’ll miss you.
And she let the tears come.
CHAPTER
14
FBI San Diego Field Office
4:30 P.M.
“WHAT IN HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?” Griffin stood up from the desk at the front of the war room and strode toward Kendra, who had just stepped off the elevator with Lynch. “She was almost in shock last night, Lynch. Couldn’t you keep her away from here for a while?”
“You should know better.” Lynch put his hand on Kendra’s shoulder. “She insisted. Even at my place, she spent the entire day poring through the prison logs you e-mailed her.” He added dryly, “And here I thought my natural charisma and charm would be enough of a distraction.”
“Yeah?” Griffin said. “No wonder she couldn’t stop working the case.”
Kendra turned toward Metcalf, who was trying to discreetly roll away the bulletin board with Dean Halley’s grisly murder-case photos. “You don’t need to do that,” she said. “Believe me, those eight-by-tens are nowhere near as upsetting as it was to actually be there.” She paused. “Or the memory that kept replaying in my mind all night.”
Metcalf stopped. “I just thought—”
“Let him take it,” Lynch murmured. “It’s okay for you to be human, Kendra.”
Kendra glanced at the board, but, in spite of her words, she found herself quickly looking away.
Dean.
Eyes glued open. Staring.
“You’re right, Metcalf. Thank you.” Kendra struggled to maintain her composure. Damn. This was even harder than she’d thought it would be. It was her duty to be here trying to do everything possible to stop that murderer, but Dean’s death was too fresh in her mind. “Maybe you should move it to another part of the room.”
Metcalf looked as if he wanted to offer some words of comfort, but he finally just turned and awkwardly moved the bulletin board away.
“You shouldn’t be here.” Griffin was frowning. “At least take another day or so. We have agents in the field following up on Colby’s visitors and call logs. I haven’t even received the preliminary forensics report on the Dean Halley crime scene. Go home, Kendra.”
“I can’t. I’d just go crazy. What are you and the team doing?”