Shopaholic to the Stars(44)

I’m nearly falling off my sunbed, trying to hear. It said in the Hollywood Reporter last week that Sage Seymour had lost out to Pippi Taylor in the last three roles she’d gone for. It also said that Sage was on a ‘downward slide’, not that I would mention this. I think that’s why she’s hired Luke – to help turn things round for her.

‘… Lois Kellerton situation …’

‘… have to ignore Lois Kellerton, Sage.’

Lois Kellerton. I sit up straighter, my mind working frantically. Now I remember. There’s some old feud between Sage and Lois Kellerton. Isn’t there a clip of them on YouTube, yelling at each other backstage at an awards ceremony? But I can’t remember what it’s all about.

‘Ignore that bitch?’ Sage’s voice rises indignantly. ‘After everything she did to me? Are you kidding? She’s a … mumble mumble …’

‘… not relevant …’

‘… totally relevant!’

Oh, I can’t bear it. For once, I have something to contribute to the conversation! I can’t keep quiet any longer.

‘I met Lois Kellerton!’ I blurt out. ‘I met her when we were out here house-hunting.’

‘Oh, really?’ Sage glances briefly up towards me. ‘Poor you.’

‘I didn’t know that, Becky.’ Luke looks surprised.

‘Yes, well. It was quite bizarre. You’ll never guess what she was doing.’ I feel a flash of triumph as Sage finally gives me her full attention.

‘What was that maniac doing?’

‘She was …’

I hesitate for a moment as Lois’s pale, tense face flashes through my mind. Her pleading voice. Her hand on mine. I did promise to keep her secret, I think uncomfortably. And I’ve kept that promise until now. (Except telling Suze. That doesn’t count.)

But on the other hand, why should I protect her? She was breaking the law. Exactly. Exactly! I should really have marched her to the nearest police station. And then she tried to bribe me. Well, I’m not someone who can be bribed. No way. Not Becky Brandon. Besides which …

I mean, the point is …

OK. The real, honest truth is, I’m desperate to keep Sage’s attention.

‘She was shoplifting!’ The words pop out of my mouth before I can think about it any more. And if I wanted a reaction, I’m not disappointed.

‘No way.’ Sage’s eyes flash, and she bangs the table with her hand. ‘No way.’

‘Shoplifting?’ says Aran, in astonishment.

‘Come here. Come!’ Sage pats the chair beside her. ‘Tell us all about it.’

Trying to hide my delight, I hurry over to the table and sink down in the chair next to Sage.

Oh God, my thighs are about twice the size of hers. Never mind. I’ll just keep my gaze away from the general thigh direction.

‘What happened?’ Sage is demanding eagerly. ‘Where were you?’

‘She was in a sports shop on Rodeo Drive. She pinched three pairs of socks. I mean, she gave them back,’ I add hurriedly. ‘I think it was just … you know. A moment of madness.’

‘And you caught her?’

‘I chased her down the street,’ I admit. ‘I didn’t know who she was at first.’

‘You’re a hero!’ Sage lifts a hand and high-fives me with her tiny, beringed hand. ‘Go Becky!’

‘I had no idea.’ Luke looks gobsmacked.

‘Well, I promised I wouldn’t tell anyone.’

‘But you’ve just told us.’ Luke raises his eyebrows at me and I feel an uneasy pang, which I squash down. Come on. It’s no big deal. It’s not like I’ve blabbed to the whole world.

‘Don’t tell anyone else, will you?’ I look around the table. ‘It was only three pairs of socks.’

‘Sure.’ Sage pats my hand. ‘Your secret’s safe with us.’

‘She was lucky it was you that caught her and not store security,’ says Aran dryly.

‘Typical. That witch always lands on her feet.’ Sage rolls her eyes. ‘Now, if it had been me who caught her …’

‘Don’t even go there.’ Aran gives a short laugh.

‘What happened between you two?’ I venture timidly. ‘I know there was some kind of … argument?’

‘Argument?’ Sage gives a snort. ‘More like a completely unprovoked attack. She’s, like, a total psycho. She has a screw loose, if you ask me.’

‘Sage.’ Aran sighs. ‘This is old ground.’ He glances at Luke. ‘Maybe we could move on.’

‘Absolutely.’ Luke nods. ‘Let’s—’