I was so stupid. The segment started, and Marie read out an introduction all about Lois and Sage, and then she turned to me and said, ‘So, Becky. Let’s go back to basics.’
‘Absolutely!’
I beamed at her, and was about to explain that this season’s trends are all about clean lines and playful accessories, when she continued, ‘You were actually in the shop when Lois – for whatever reason, and we’ll go into that later with Dr Dee – shoplifted some items. Could you relive that moment for us?’
I stumbled through some awkward account of seeing Lois take the socks, and then she asked me about the awards, and then she turned to Dr Dee and said, ‘So, Dr Dee. Why does an A-list movie star like Lois Kellerton turn to crime?’
And that was it. My part was over. Dr Dee talked endlessly about self-esteem and childhood issues, blah blah (I tuned out), and then the segment was finished. Not one fashion reference. Not one mention of me being a stylist. They didn’t even ask me who the diamanté clutch bag was by.
‘So.’ Aran looks up from his phone and smiles his Hollywood smile. ‘That went well.’
‘Went well?’ I echo in disbelief. ‘It was awful! I thought I was going to be styling clothes! I made all these notes, and I was all prepared, and it was supposed to launch me as a stylist …’
‘OK.’ Aran looks at me blankly, then shrugs. ‘But it was great exposure. We’ll build up to the styling thing.’
Build up to it?
‘You said it would be a styling segment,’ I say as politely as I can. ‘That’s what you told me.’
I don’t want to be a diva. I know Aran’s really helping me and everything. But he did promise styling. He did promise clothes.
‘Sure.’ He’s got that blank look again, as though he’s already tuned out what I just said. ‘So, we’ll work on that. Now, I have a couple of new offers, one of which is huge. Huge.’
‘Really?’ I can’t help feeling hopeful.
‘You see? I told you you’d be the queen of the moment. The first thing is a nice invitation to the Big Top premiere tomorrow. They want you to do the red carpet.’
‘Do the red carpet?’ I feel a sudden glittery excitement. ‘Like … do interviews?’
‘Sure. I think you should do it.’
‘Of course I’ll do it!’ I say in elation. ‘I can’t wait!’
I’m going to do the red carpet at a premiere! Me! Becky! In my own right! ‘What’s the other thing?’
‘This is shit-hot, totally confidential.’ He nods at his phone. ‘I should not even be sharing this with you.’
‘Really?’ I feel fresh sparks of excitement. ‘What is it?’
‘It’s reality. But it’s a whole new breed of reality.’
‘Right.’ I feel a bit hesitant at the word ‘reality’, but I’m not going to give that away. ‘Cool!’ I say determinedly. ‘That sounds fab!’
‘What it is—’ He interrupts himself. ‘OK, it’s not for the squeamish. But you’re not squeamish, are you, Becky?’
‘No! Definitely not!’
Oh God. Please don’t say he wants me to go on a show where you have to eat bugs. I can’t eat a worm. I can’t.
‘I didn’t think you were.’ He flashes that smile at me again. ‘What this show is about is aesthetic improvement. The working title is Even More Beautiful. Each celebrity will have a mentor in the form of another celebrity, and that mentor will carefully guide a process of aesthetic alteration. The American public will follow each process and vote on the result. Obviously medical professionals are on hand to consult at all times,’ he adds blithely.
I blink at him, not sure if I heard right.
‘Aesthetic alteration?’ I say at last. ‘You mean, plastic surgery?’
‘It’s a pioneering show.’ Aran nods. ‘Super-exciting, huh?’
‘Yes!’ I say automatically, although I can’t quite get my head around this. ‘So … I’d decide what kind of plastic surgery some celebrity has and then it gets voted on? But what if I get it wrong?’
Aran is shaking his head.
‘We see you as one of the celebrity participants who would undergo the journey. You would be assigned a celebrity mentor who would aim to make you the most beautiful swan. Not that you’re not already a swan,’ he adds charmingly. ‘But everyone can do with a little improvement, right?’ He twinkles. ‘The surgery alone would be worth thousands, together with the fee and the prime-time exposure … like I said, it’s a great opportunity.’