Minnie regards the red splodges stonily. ‘Dat not de schlowers. Dat de schlowers.’ She jabs her finger at a tiny blue stripe which I hadn’t even noticed. ‘Dat de schlowers.’ Her brows are lowered and she’s giving me an imperious frown. ‘DAT DE SCHLOWERS!’ she suddenly yells, sounding like a commandant ordering an execution.
‘Right,’ I say hastily. ‘Silly me. Of course that’s the schlowers. Lovely!’
‘Is that your daughter?’ To my surprise, Sage has got out of the SUV after me. ‘I have to say hello. Too cute! Listen to her little British accent! Come here, sweetie.’ She lifts Minnie up and swings her around till Minnie starts squealing with delight. The photographers are all clicking away so fast, it sounds like an insect infestation.
‘Sage,’ I say. ‘We don’t want Minnie to be photographed.’
But Sage doesn’t hear me. She’s running around the drive with Minnie, the two of them in fits of laughter.
‘Pleeeeease!’ Minnie is reaching out for the swirly Missoni sunglasses. ‘Pleeeeease!’
‘No, these are mine! But you can have some.’ Sage rummages in her bag and produces another pair of sunglasses. She gives Minnie a kiss on the nose, then puts the sunglasses on her. ‘Adorable!’
‘Sage!’ I try again. ‘Stop it! I need to get Minnie inside!’
My phone suddenly bleeps with a text, and feeling hassled, I pull it out. It’s from Mum.
Becky. Very urgent. Mum
What? What’s very urgent? I feel a spasm of alarm, mixed with frustration. What kind of message is ‘Very urgent’? I speed-dial her number and wait impatiently for the connection.
‘Mum!’ I say as soon as she answers. ‘What is it?’
‘Oh, Becky.’ Her voice is wobbling. ‘It’s Dad. He’s gone!’
‘Gone?’ I say stupidly. ‘What do you mean, gone?’
‘He’s gone to LA! He left a note! A note! After all these years of marriage, a note! I’ve been to Bicester Village with Janice for the day – I got a lovely bag at the Cath Kidston outlet shop – and when I came back he’d gone! To America!’
I stare at the phone, flabbergasted. ‘But what – I mean, where—’
‘In the note, he said he needed to track down his friend. Brent Lewis? The one you looked up?’
Oh, for God’s sake. Not this again.
‘But why?’
‘He didn’t say!’ Mum’s voice rises hysterically. ‘I have no idea who this friend is, even!’
There’s a slight edge of panic to her voice, which I can understand. The thing about my Dad is, he seems like this very straight-down-the-line, normal family man. But there’s a bit more to him than that. A few years ago we all discovered that he had another daughter – my half-sister Jess – about whom nobody had known a thing.
I mean, to be fair to Dad, he hadn’t known either. It’s not like he’d been keeping a massive secret. But I can see why Mum might be a bit paranoid.
‘He said he had something he needed to “put right”,’ Mum is continuing. ‘“Put right”! What does that mean?’
‘I don’t know,’ I say helplessly. ‘Except he was very shocked when I told him Brent Lewis lives in a trailer.’
‘Why shouldn’t he live in a trailer?’ Mum’s voice is shrill again. ‘What business is it of Dad’s where this man lives?’
‘He kept saying, “It shouldn’t have happened,”’ I say, remembering. ‘But I have no idea what that meant.’
‘I don’t know what flight he’s on, or where he’s staying … Do I follow him? Do I stay here? It’s Becky,’ I hear her saying in a muffled voice. ‘The sherry’s on the second shelf, Janice.’ She returns to the line. ‘Becky, I don’t know what to do. Janice said it’s his mid-life crisis, but I said, “Janice, we already had that with the guitar lessons. So what’s this?”’
‘Mum, calm down. It’ll be fine.’
‘He’s bound to come to you, Becky. Keep an eye on him, love. Please.’
‘I will. I’ll call you as soon as I hear anything.’
I ring off and instantly start texting Dad.
Dad. Where are you? Call me!!! Becky xxx
God, what a drama. What is Dad doing? I send the text and turn round, wondering why I can hear laughter. At once my heart plunges in horror.
Sage is posing for the cameras in an exaggerated starlet way, and Minnie is copying her perfectly. Her hand is on her hip, her head is cocked at an angle and she’s tilting her shoulders back and forth, just like Sage. Everyone is roaring and the cameras are snapping.