Shine Not Burn(89)

With that realization came the understanding that sometimes you can’t appreciate the true beauty of a thing until you’ve experienced it for yourself; no amount of words or pictures will do the trick. And no amount of planning could make it happen. Sometimes, we just have to go where the wind takes us and see where we end up.

I sighed with both happiness and melancholy. The wind had blown me to Baker City, Oregon and by being here I’d found a place in the world where I could very possibly discover peace, for the first time in my life. But this Eden was inhabited by one of the biggest mistakes I’d ever made in my life, and because of that, I would have to leave.

There was just too much negativity wrapped up in the situation to consider staying: a drunken, blacked out marriage that was neglected for two whole years; a girlfriend waitress who maybe wasn’t a girlfriend but she sure seemed to think she was; an angry younger brother who may or may not blame me or Mack for his failed wedding plans; and the fact that I’d poured my heart out to this stranger and shared pieces of me that I’d been trying to lose for over ten years. It was hopeless.





Chapter Thirty-Three





“YOU’RE BEING AWFULLY QUIET BACK there. What’re you thinking about?”

Mack’s question startled me out of my reverie and reminded me I was sitting up way too high off the earth. My body tensed for a few seconds before I could get a grip on myself again. “Nothing.” Better to just let it lie, right? Sometimes the truth just needs to stay in darkness. The problem was that it felt like if I hid the truth from everyone, I’d be hiding myself there too, and I wasn’t a fan of the dark.

“I don’t believe that for a second. I get the feeling you’re always thinking about something.”

“What are you thinking?” I asked, trying to turn the tables over to safer topics.

He glanced back at me. “About how bad I want to see you naked again.”

My face pinked up. “Be serious.”

“I am being serious.” He turned to face front so I was looking at his broad back once more. “That’s not all I’m thinking, but it’s high on the list.”

I sighed, sad because I wanted to see him naked again too, and in the light of day for a change, but that would be stupid. Sex would only complicate things more. “We’re not going to do that again, okay? The two times we’ve done it were both mistakes.”

“Two times? Boy, you’re not very good with math, are you?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well, according to my math, it’s more like five or six. Not that I was counting or anything.”

“What? You’re crazy.” I wondered what else I’d forgotten from that night, other than the wedded-by-Elvis part.

“Believe me, I don’t forget things like that.”

I snorted. “Right. How many women have you been with?”

He twisted around and grinned. “You jealous?”

“No.” Maybe. Yes.

He shrugged. “Not many. I’m picky.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

He stopped his horse. My horse kept going until it was next to his.

“It’s true,” he said in a more serious tone. “I don’t just sleep with any girl.”

“You slept with Hannah.” It was a total shot in the dark, but I waited breathlessly for his response.

“No, I did not.” He sounded offended. “Who told you that? I’ve never slept with that girl nor would I ever.”

I shrugged. “I heard it in town somewhere.”

His jaw was set and hard as he stared off ahead of his horse. I figured I’d already gotten him upset once, might as well go all the way.

“You slept with Ginny.” Another shot in the dark. This one right into the heart.

Mack kicked his horse and it took off running, leaving me and my horse behind. Apparently she didn’t appreciate it, because she took off right after them. She didn’t go as fast, but the pace was accelerated enough to cause me to turn into a bouncing piece of human popcorn on the saddle. My butt slapped the leather seat over and over making the most embarrassing sound … Whap! Whap! Whap! Whap! My yell came out with every bump telegraphed in it. “Ah-uh-ah-uh-ah-uh-ahhhhh! Mack! Wait-uh-ay-uh-ayyyyt!” My teeth clacked together when I stopped talking, giving me a headache.

I whap-whap-whapped my butt around a windy trail through a cover of trees and out into a blindingly bright meadow full of wildflowers before we finally slowed. Mack was standing still again, his horse just on the outside of the field. He slid down off the back of the animal and started unbuckling some packs that were strapped to the back part of his saddle. My horse drew up next to his and then dropped her head sharply, jerking the reins out of my hands.