Shine Not Burn(72)
“Tell me! I’m good with people. I can help you un-complicate it, I promise. Please-please-please-please-pleeeeaaase?”
She wore me down with her begging, and I really did need to get the secret off my chest. It was killing me to have no one to talk sense into me. “Okay fine. Apparently I married him two years ago, after you left us and we had crazy monkey sex.”
“Oh, man. That must have been some pretty amazing stuff to make you go marry the guy.”
“I know, right? I have no idea what happened though, because the next day he was gone.”
“Where did he go?”
“I have no idea! I found a claim check in the room and called the front desk. They said he came and got his bags from downstairs and left with them. I never heard from him again, so I don’t know anything else.”
“And since you didn’t remember getting married, you did nothing.”
“Right. I mean, I was kind of sad he didn’t call or anything, but I moved on. You know I had the Luke thing to deal with and then … well, life got in the way.”
She snorted. “You mean your stupid lifeplan got in the way. When are you going to throw that thing in the shredder and get on with your real life? Life unscripted?”
“I don’t know,” I said in a weak voice.
“Well, hey now, that’s progress! That’s the first time I’ve ever heard you even consider shredding the Dark Forces. Good for you! I think maybe Oregon is good for you.”
I laughed. “Dark Forces?”
“Yes,” she said with conviction. “That damn lifeplan has done nothing but lead you down the wrong path since day one. Dark Forces. Devil in disguise.”
“It got me into college and law school.”
“Granted, it got you into college which is where you met me and Kelly, but other than that, pooey. What did law school ever do for you other than turn you into a cold-hearted, analytical bitch?”
I nearly choked on my outrage. “Hey! That’s out of line! Even for you, Candice.”
“Hey! I’m just giving you the tough love you’ve needed for years. Now listen up, because I know my time is about to be cut off. This is hard shit to listen to, but you need to hear it. You have terrible taste in men because you’re always trying to get them to fit into a box. You fall in love with potential instead of reality. You are attracted to characteristics on paper instead of the real man underneath. Stop putting men into categories. Stop making checklists and measuring men up next to them! Luke was a puke and Bradley is a turd sandwich. He doesn’t care about you; he cares about what his friends think about you. He’s obnoxious, and one day he’ll be kicked out of the Bar because I’ll bet he cheats. I’ll bet he cuts corners! You’re too good for him and all those other buttheads you’ve gone out with. But maybe not this cowboy. Maybe this guy is the real deal.” She finished in a softer voice. “He sure seemed nice when I met him.”
I’d begun crying halfway through her speech and now I just sat there, numb. The pain was terrible, not so much because the words had come from the mouth of someone I cared about, but because they were all true. I knew they were true, but I also knew I wasn’t strong enough to do anything about it but ignore them.
“Thanks for the call, Candice. I have to go now.”
“Oh, no you don’t! No way am I going to live with another friendship dry spell! Talk to me. Tell me what you’re thinking right this second!”
“I’m thinking that I have to go.”
“No. I don’t accept that. Try again.”
I let out a long, shaky sigh. “I don’t know what you want from me, Candice.”
“Honesty. Tell me right now, in all honesty, how you feel about the cowboy. What’s his name, by the way?”
“His name is Mack. And how I feel about him? I don’t know. It’s confusing.”
“Give me a bullet list. You like lists.”
“Shut up.”
“No, I’m serious. Bullet list. Go.”
“Fine. You want a bullet list? Here it is: Sexy. Handsome. Smart. Sexy. Magnetizing. Compelling. Muscles. Good family. Confident. Polite. Sexy.”
“I’m getting the impression that there’s some chemistry going on over there.” I could tell she was smiling by the tone of her voice.
I took another shaky breath, afraid to admit what I’d done but knowing it was relevant. I really wanted to confess my sins to Father Candice.
“Tell me what you’re not telling me,” she insisted.
“You’re a mind reader now, too?”
“Yes. I always have been. Did you sleep with him?”