“Yeah,” he coughs, but it’s not good enough.
I pull back my fist and punch him in the mouth, seeing his lip split open as he cries out.
“Do you understand!” I shout, not making it a question this time.
He nods and says yes over and over before he starts to cry. I let him go, and he falls into a heap on the floor. I stand there for a second, looking around the place, and then I see the stairs. I make my way up them and to Lily’s room. I grab a suitcase from the closet and start filling it up. It hits me that she doesn’t have much of anything and all her belongings can fit into one bag. I make sure to get her art supplies and pictures before I look around to double-check I’ve gotten everything. Once her things are cleared out, the room is bare. It doesn't look like it ever belonged to her, and maybe it didn’t. There are so many thoughts racing through my mind, but the one thing that keeps beating down on my back is to get her to safety. To keep her away from this monster.
When I make my way downstairs, I see he’s still a crying heap by the front door. There’s a moment when I put myself in his place and think about what I would do if I lost Lily. I would be a mess, and I might even turn to alcohol. But I know I could never do that to a child. I could never hurt something that was a part of her and something that she loved. He doesn't deserve a second chance, but that’s not for me to decide. All I know is that I’ll be the one to take care of her from now on. Not him.
I don’t give him another look as I leave the house and close the door behind me. I walk down to the Jeep and put her bags in the back before climbing in and pulling her into my lap. I drive away from her house in silence, because I need to get her away from here. Away from this darkness and all the things that have hurt her. I’ll protect her from this. Forever.
22
Lily
Ren only makes it a few blocks from my house before he’s pulling over to the side of the road. I have my face cuddled in his neck, not wanting to look at him. I can feel the wetness on my cheeks and where I’ve soaked his shirt. I sniff when he starts to rub soothing circles on my back, trying to get me to calm down. He’s telling me everything is going to be okay and how much he loves me. He’s saying that no one will ever hurt me again.
I feel so embarrassed by what he saw. It’s a dark part of my life I’ve been trying to hide from him. I didn’t want him to see the dirt and sadness that coats me. His family is so perfect—everything I could ever dream of having.
When I finally get the courage to lean back, his eyes go straight to my cheek. He raises his hand and I flinch. Sadness shows on his face at my reaction. He doesn't stop, though, as he brings his hand to my injured cheek. He runs his thumb across it, and I watch as his jaw clenches. He tries to hide his anger, but it’s no use. I see it there.
“I’m sorry,” I tell him, feeling like such a jerk. I hate that I flinched, because I know he’d never do anything to hurt me. All he’s ever done is take care of me, make sure I’m safe.
“It’s okay. I get it. You’re scared, and years of living with someone like that can make you that way. Give it some time, and I promise you’ll never flinch again. No one who wants to keep breathing will give you a reason to.”
I lean into his touch, wanting more of it. I’ve been so starved of affection over the years, I want to soak up all the attention he gives me.
“I don’t want to go back there,” I finally say, the tears falling from my eyes. He leans in and kisses them away.
“You will never go back there.” Ren tells me fiercely. “You’re with me from now until forever.”
I cry harder at that, wishing it could be true. It sounds so wonderful, to spend the rest of my life like last night, wrapped up in him, feeling like nothing could ever hurt me because Ren wouldn't allow it to happen.
“But—” I say, but he cuts me off.
“You’re coming home with me. We’ll finish out the school year, then we’ll get a place near school. We’ll figure it all out.”
I drop my head a little, thinking about what he’s saying. I want to grab onto it so tightly, but I don’t want to push Ren into something he’s not ready for. I don’t want him to do this because he thinks it’s the right thing to do and that it’s the only way to protect me.
“You’re it for me, Lily,” he says, as if he can read my mind. “Even before I took you home today I didn’t want to do it. I had to fight myself to take you there. It’s going to be you and me forever. We’re just moving a little faster than some. But I don’t care. You and I are the same outcome either way—sharing ourselves with each other like last night and all the other shit that comes with that. It’s happening no matter how you spin it.”