Shielding Lily(18)

“All set?” I ask, and she smiles at me and nods. I hold her coat open for her and then zip it up before we say goodbye to my dad and we leave.

In the Jeep in the way to her house, she’s quiet. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, but I think your dad paid me too much.”

I laugh and grip her hand. “He pays the high school kids well because they’re almost free labor. He gave you cash, didn’t he?” She nods. “He pays me in cash, too. It’s under the table that way, and it’s only a few days a week, so there’s really no harm.”

“It’s really nice of him. Both your parents were really sweet.”

“Maybe I could meet your dad sometime soon.” She freezes, and I can feel the change of atmosphere in the car. “Or maybe some other time. No rush. I just want to make sure we’re out in the open with this. I don’t want to sneak around with you, Lily.”

“Me neither.” She says it so low I almost don’t catch it.

I know there’s more there, but I let it go. I don’t want to push her too hard, too fast, so I change the subject.

“So.” I look over at her when we pull up to the front of her house. “You want chocolate chip muffins again tomorrow, or a bagel?” She smiles at me, and the tension is broken.

I would do anything to keep that smile on her face.





15





Lily





I stare at myself in the mirror, wondering if this dress will be nice enough. It’s a simple cotton dress that’s fitted at the top and through the waist until it hits the hips, then it flares out a little. The hem comes to my knees, but the whole thing gives me more of a figure. It makes me feel like a woman. It’s soft pink and simple. I’m pretty sure I got it at a thrift store last summer but never wore it. It’s the only one this nice I have, and I have no idea where Ren is taking me tonight, so I really hope it’s okay.

He showed up this morning with a chocolate chip muffin with a candle in it. It was sweet and I made him share it with me. The school day went by entirely too fast and now I’m left with a belly full of butterflies about tonight, wondering what Ren has planned. He wouldn’t tell me a thing. Not even the smallest hint.

It’s nice to be excited about a birthday again. I haven’t celebrated one since I lost my mom, and I’m sure my father forgot about it. He was gone before I got out of bed this morning, and I’m praying he would be home late tonight. I’d rather him not know I’d gone out at all. I’m not sure how he’ll respond to me going places. He may not care, but if he does, it will be bad.

He’d let me do a few weekend jobs, but I’d never asked to do anything else. Never had a reason to. Nor had the subject of boys ever come up. Sometimes I think he wants me gone and would be happy if I wasn’t here when he got home. But then when I talked about working at nights, it pissed him off and I was told no. I don’t understand him, but I’m guessing there is no understanding an alcoholic. Maybe he just likes me around so it isn’t so lonely, or because he wants someone to take his pain out on. I only hope I make it home before he does. Fridays tend to be late nights for him.

Digging through my backpack, I find a small tube of lip gloss and slick it on. It makes my lips look shiny and fuller. I run my fingers through my hair, giving it one last check. This is as good as it’s getting.

I grab my small purse off my bed and head downstairs to wait for Ren. He dropped me off after school and said he’d be back in an hour. He was reluctant to leave me, wanting to wait for me to get ready, but I didn’t want him to come inside. Nor did I want to chance my father coming home early. It was unlikely that would happen, but it could, knowing my luck.

And after meeting Ren’s parents, I definitely don’t want him meeting my father. They were so freaking perfect and sweet in every way. I forgot families like that existed anymore. I could see how much they all love each other. How excited they were to meet me just because I meant something to their son.

God, looking at Ren’s mom made me miss my own mom so bad. It doesn’t help that today’s my birthday. Her death is weighing heavily on me today. I wonder what she would have done for me. I’m sure we would have gone shopping. A new dress would have been a must for Mom. My eyes water as I think about all the things we could have done today.

I swallow the lump in my throat and focus on tonight. I grab my coat and slip on my boots, even though they don’t match my outfit. I don’t have any other options, especially with the snow. When I look out the window by the door I see Ren coming up the walkway to the front door. I pull open the door quickly and shut and lock it behind me so he can’t ask to come in. When I turn around he’s already right behind me.