Adam looks over at me and noticing my lack of color, goes into the kitchen and brings me a glass of water. I take a long sip as he continues on.
“This is a whole lot of shit for you to be taking in right now, I know, but Mom and I did what we thought was best. She didn’t want to get the police involved because she was worried it would just make more trouble for everyone. These kind of people aren’t afraid of cops, and we had no real way to trace the letters back to anyone. I tried looking up that number, I even called it. It goes to an anonymous voice mail. No message, no nothing. Just a beep.”
He gently pulls the shoebox out of my grasp and sets it aside so that he can take my hand in his.
“Mom knew, or had a good idea of who was behind the threats from things she overheard when she worked at the courthouse. She knew there were some very, very bad people involved, and that they could make good on their threats at any time. She made me swear I wouldn’t try to get you and Luke back together. Shayne, you have to know that if your life and Lucy’s life hadn’t been in danger, I would have told you everything. There is nothing I wouldn’t do to keep you safe, even if it meant lying to you to do it. I only hope you can forgive me.”
Adam goes silent, staring ahead at nothing. I sit there and struggle for breath, trying to take it all in. So many secrets, so much time lost. What must my aunt have gone through? Terrified all that time for my life and Lucy’s, wondering if something would happen to us and when. It’s almost too much for me to bear right now, on top of everything else. After what seems like forever, I turn to him. I need to make things right with my cousin. I give his hand a tight squeeze.
“Adam, I forgive you. I may not like it, but at least now I understand. You have protected me our whole lives, and I trust you more than anyone. I don’t know that I wouldn’t have done the same thing if I had been in your place.” I pause for a moment. “Do you think this is why Luke’s family left seven years ago?” I ask.
“I really don’t know, Shayne. That’s his story to tell, not mine.”
I become angry, but more so, hurt, thinking about the answers I’ve been searching for all these years. Luke apparently didn’t trust me enough to tell me that he and his family were in trouble. Why had they come back here after all these years? Was the danger gone? I knew Aunt Judy and Adam had refused to tell him where I was, but there were other ways he could have found me if he’d wanted to. But he hadn’t.
I stand and start pacing the floor, feeling righteous anger flowing through me as I think about how I’d searched and searched for Luke. Adam is just sitting there, watching me like I’m some crazy madwoman. I stop and look at him.
Adam walks over and kneels in front of me, taking my hands in his. “Shayne, you know I’ll continue to protect you, but I know Luke. Believe me; now that he has seen you, he is not going to give up.”
“I don’t want anything to do with Luke,” I seethe. “I mean it. After everything I’ve been through, the least you can do is keep him away from me. I don’t want to hear anything he has to say. If he thinks he can just waltz back into my life, then he is seriously more fucked up than I am. There are people out there who were sending death threats and he didn’t even take the time to find out for himself that I was all right! We aren’t just talking about me here, Adam. I need to protect my daughter from him. I will not have my baby girl get hurt by a man who walks away from people he claims to love.”
I pause as the tears threaten to overwhelm me once more.
“Adam, don’t let him break me again,” I plead. “I don’t think I can take it for a second time. I really don’t. I know if I talk to him or see him again, it’s going to destroy me.”
The dam breaks and I feel a rush of hot tears sliding down my face. I spin on my heel, pulling my hands out of his grasp, and run upstairs to my room, leaving Adam on his knees in the middle of the floor.
Chapter Four
How do you say goodbye to someone you love? How do you let yourself utter the words when they’re so final? So devastating? I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, racking my brain for what my aunt would tell me to do if she were here. She would tell me to stop sulking, put on my big girl panties, smile, and get out of bed.
With that thought, I do smile. That’s exactly what she would say. I climb out of bed and take a long, hot shower, letting the jets beat down on my neck, relieving the tension. I quickly dress, deciding on a black sleeveless sheath dress that rests just above my knees, along with my aunt’s pearl earring and necklace set. I slide my feet into my strappy, three-inch wedges and attend to my face. I apply very little makeup, a nude lip gloss, and pull my hair up in a French twist. This is about as good as I’m going to get, I think to myself before heading downstairs to make coffee. As I’m standing there staring at the coffee pot brewing, Adam comes up behind me and kisses me on top of my head.