“No, I haven’t talked to him. He’ll come around, just give him his space.”
“I know, and I am. I just know he is hurting and I am the cause of it. That’s what hurts me more than anything, and I can’t even explain. But don’t worry about me, I will be fine. Nothing I can’t work through…again. You two have a great time and I will see you tomorrow.”
After hanging up with Adam, I go about cleaning the house and putting clean sheets in the spare bedroom for Lucy. My stomach starts to growl, making me realize I haven’t eaten anything all day. I decide to make a sandwich. While I eat, I get lost in my thoughts, watching the sun starting to set. I can't believe he hasn’t called me. I just don’t understand. I understand not wanting to talk to me, but doesn’t he want to meet his daughter, get to know this delightful little girl we created? Oh God, what about his family? They are going to hate me, too. This shit storm I've created is not going to be easy to clean up.
Everything swirls through my brain and I feel dizzy by just how badly I've fucked up. Between my frayed nerves and the sinking feeling in the pit of my gut, I suddenly feel nauseous. Jumping up out of my chair and running to the bathroom, I lift the lid and deposit everything I just ate. Scooting back and leaning my head against the wall, I let the tears fall once more.
Pulling myself up off the floor, I run a nice warm bath and grab a glass of wine from the fridge. I never drink wine, but I am hoping that it will help relax me a little bit so I can sleep and be fully rested when Lucy and Adam get here tomorrow. Turning on some music and stripping off my clothing, I immerse myself into the bath. Lying there with my glass of wine and listening to the soothing music, I feel myself starting to relax, the aches and stress lifting from my shoulders, if only slightly.
My phone beeps, letting me know I have a text message. Drying off my hands, I pick up the phone and almost drop it into the water. After I use my cat-like reflexes to save my phone from its ultimate demise, I see the text message. It’s from Luke. My heart skips a beat and my hands become clammy with nerves. I have no idea what to expect. Will it be more screaming in text form? More accusations and one-sided conversation? I hit the messenger icon and hold my breath.
Luke: I want to meet my daughter. When will she be here?
I stare at my phone, thinking, nothing like getting right to the point, huh?
Me: Tomorrow at one.
Luke: Fine. I will be there.
What the hell? I think to myself. He isn’t about to pull the boss card on me.
Me: Wait. Give me some time to talk to her first, she doesn’t know about you yet.
Luke: What the fuck, Shayne? You have kept me away from her long enough. I will give you until tomorrow night to tell her about me and then I want to meet my daughter. I will be there at six.
Oh no. He is not going to act this way. He needs to calm his ass down before I will let him meet her.
Me: Don’t you dare ‘what the fuck’ me, Luke Schavone. I am going to tell you this one time only. You may be pissed off at me about this, but lose the damn attitude before you arrive here and meet our daughter. And if you haven’t, then call me when you have.
I sit there staring at the phone, as if willing him to send another message. Something. Anything. There is nothing but silence. Feeling slightly chilled from the cooling water, I climb out, lotion up, and get myself ready for bed, knowing I’m not going to sleep after that conversation. I wander down the stairs and grab another glass of wine, then flop down on the couch and turn on the television. Mindlessly flipping through channels, I find nothing that interests me. I decide to just give up for the night, hoping I can get some rest. Tomorrow is going to be a long day.
************
I wake from a fitful sleep to the feeling of the sun shining brightly on my face. Looking at the clock, it reads six thirty, so I get out of bed and do my routine and get ready for my run. I decide not to go by the beach today in case Ben is there. I still wonder what his deal is. He probably thinks if he can get with me it would be his way of paying Adam back for what he did, but still, something just seems strangely off about him.
Running through the neighborhood and feeling the slight breeze in the air, I can smell the freshness of the lake. Lucy will love it and I can’t wait to see all the things she has to show me.
I make my way back home and as I get closer to the house, I come to a complete halt as I notice Luke standing outside of his vehicle talking on the phone and looking very agitated.
My feet move of their own accord. Seeing my approach, Luke hangs up quickly and crosses the short distance between us until we are standing so close that if I leaned in just a few inches we would be touching.