Shelter Me(32)

“I fucking bled for you!” he screams, beating on his chest. “Every motherfucking day for the last seven years, my heart has bled for you. And you just twisted the knife and fucking slaughtered it. Is this some kind of sick payback for me leaving you? If it is, you win.”

He turns away from me and I can see the muscles in his neck twitching and getting tense. I have never seen him this way before. I stagger toward him and put my hand on his arm. “Please, let me explain, Luke. I let you explain your reasons for leaving me. Please, you just need to–”

“I don’t need to let you explain shit. You would have never told me about her if you didn’t have to come back here, would you have? Would you?” he screams, moving his face within inches of mine. “After all these years of me not knowing about her, ‘Luke, we have a daughter’ should have been the first thing out of your lips the minute you saw me that night at Bubba’s. I can’t fucking believe this! I can’t even look at you right now, Shayne. I have been back here for two years and I have asked Adam repeatedly to tell me where you were.” He takes a few steps back, opening some distance between us. “I know how much I hurt you because I was hurting just as much. What we had and what we are trying to build again is fucking real for me, Shayne. It’s as real as anything is ever going to get.”

I just stand there looking at him with wide eyes, saying nothing.

“FUCK!” he screams, and I jump and take a few steps back. He pushes past me. “I need to get out of here.”

I grab him by the sleeve, trying to make him stop and listen to me.

“You’re not going to let me explain?” I sob uncontrollably, tears rolling down my face, my eyes pleading for him to hear me out.

“What’s there to explain, Shayne?” he hisses at me.

He violently jerks his hand away from me and, without even looking at me, stomps right past and walks out the door.

I hear a car door slam and the squeal of tires as Luke peels out of his driveway. I stand there trying to compose myself as best as I can. Making my way to the front door, I grab my purse off the table and stumble to my car. Once inside, I put my head on the steering wheel and let the tears fall. What the fuck have I done?





Chapter Eleven



Pulling out of Luke’s driveway, I drive back home barely containing myself. I can’t do this. I need to get out of here. No, I will not do this to Lucy. She has a right to know her father and his family. If he doesn’t want anything to do with me again, then I just have to find a way to deal with it for her. Just thinking about her calms me down. By the time I get home, I have stopped crying and my breathing is somewhat back to normal.

Grabbing my purse and keys out of the car, I walk up to the house and step inside. Tossing my things on the counter, I turn on the lights and sit on the couch, trying to get myself completely under control. Realizing I haven’t called Lucy all day, I grab my phone and dial Adam’s number. As soon as it starts to ring, I stand up and start pacing the floor.

Adam answers on the second ring. “Hey, brat, I told you not to call and bug my Lucy time.”

“Adam,” I cry, the tears coming back with a vengeance.

“Shayne? What’s wrong, babe?”

“I told him about Lucy and he is so mad. He thinks I didn’t tell him about her to hurt him… he wouldn’t give me the chance to explain.”

“Shayne, calm down. Now, listen to me. You just told him he has a daughter; you have got to give him some time to process this. He loves you and he will come around. I am going to call Bubba and see if he will come over. You don’t need to be alone and Lucy and I will be there on Wednesday afternoon. Trust me on this, Shayne. Everything is going to be okay. Now, pull your shit together. Your daughter just walked into the living room and she wants to talk to you.”

I can hear Lucy in the background. Without missing a beat, Adam hands her the phone. I take in deep, calming breaths and promptly pull my shit together. Or, at least together enough for her not to notice anything is wrong.

“Hi, Mommy,” she chirps.

“Hi, my princess. Are you having fun?”

“Oh yes, Mommy. We have done so much. I can’t wait to see you. I miss you.”

“I miss you too, baby. It won’t be long now.”

After hanging up with Lucy, I let it all out, crying until I feel like I don't have any more tears. The hurt and anger in Luke’s voice continues to resound in my head. The screaming and accusations. I didn’t even get a chance to explain anything. Did I handle the situation wrong? Should I have told him sooner? I feel my tears slowly start to wane as my eyes get heavy. I continue to go over everything in my head, trying to figure out how I could have done things differently.