Shelter Me(23)

I do my stretches and turn on the television. Getting on the treadmill, I start to run. My mind starts to wander again as I think about the past few days. Luke and I really are moving way too fast. There are some things about him that are the same, yet there is so much that is different. He seems to be much more controlling than he ever was before. I mentally shrug it off, telling myself that time and life experience changes people. Shit, I’ve changed.

I finish my run, turn everything off, and head back upstairs. I tell Luke I am going to jump in the shower as I move toward the stairs. He hollers his acknowledgement over his shoulder. Going into my room, I grab a pair of shorts and an old high school track t-shirt, and make my way into the bathroom. I lay my head forward and let the water run over my neck, my shoulders, and my back, releasing the leftover tension from my run. Leaning back, the cascade filters through my long hair. I reach for my shampoo just as the door to the shower swings open. Luke steps inside, fully undressed. It takes everything in me to avert my eyes from the sight before me. Though I want nothing more than to take in his striking body, I can’t let myself get worked up again. Space. That’s what I need. Too fast. Yes, too fast. This is what I remind myself.

He slowly closes the door and grabs the shampoo from my hand.

“Here, let me wash your hair. You know how much I love your hair.”

“I do,” I say.

He pours a large amount into his hands and starts massaging my scalp and running the shampoo through my long locks. As soon as my hair is fully saturated, he grabs the back of my neck and guides me back under the water to rinse. He picks up the conditioner and repeats the same process. When he is finished, he runs both of his hands up and down the sides of my face, and then goes further. Landing on my breasts that are now so achingly swollen, he palms both of them in his hands, feeling their weight. His thumbs travel over my pert nipples, causing them to harden even more than before. I gasp. The sensation is phenomenal, and I lean forward, pressing my breasts further into his hands.

Luke leans forward and starts kissing my neck, moving slowly down my chest until his mouth lands where his hands are. He takes one of my nipples into his mouth and I moan. The hot breath cascading over the hard peak causes my muscles to clench. This man, this talented man, knows just how to get me to that point, and so quickly. Never before have I even been able to get myself off unless I am thinking of him, but he knows my body and works it to his advantage.

Too fast. Too soon. These words echo through my mind as he sucks my nipple so hard, my head snaps back and I cry out in the most agonizingly scream of pleasure. Fuck, too fast. Fuck, too soon. With the amount of pleasure coursing through my body, my head immediately recants its previous thoughts. Not fast enough. Not soon enough.

His sensuous lips release the hard bud and move to the other, giving the same amount of attention. Licking, sucking, biting, moans, groans... it's too much. He releases my nipple and places a kiss across the top of my breast. Placing his arms around me, he says, “I want you so bad right know, Shayne. I need to be buried inside of you, to make you mine again.”

I place my head into his neck and let out a sigh, embracing my earlier decision. “I want that too, but I’m not ready yet. I just... can't. Not yet. I hope you understand. I... I need to feel more grounded, more sure. I know it doesn't seem like much, seeing as we've had sex before, but…I just can't allow myself to be that open to you again, so soon.”

Neither one of us say anything else for several moments, we just stand underneath the shower gazing into each other’s eyes. I know he is struggling with everything, I can see it in his eyes. While I’m not ready to reach that extra mile just yet, it doesn't mean we can't have fun along the way. I’m not opposed to what we have been doing; I’m opposed to reaching that level of intimacy you can't come back from. I’m scared, more than anything. He's the only person I've been with, and while he's familiar, he also owns my heart and soul. I was too eager to give it up the first time; I won't let it happen again. I need to think with my brain, not my heart or body.

I move in closer, reveling in the feel of his chest against mine. I push further, wanting the contact. Tremors shoot through my body as his pulsing shaft rests against my stomach. So long, so thick, so fucking huge. A penis is never supposed to be beautiful, but his is. I can't help but look down at the vision created between us. His cock looks almost angry, pre-cum oozing at the tip. I lick my lips and let my tongue travel down, eager to take his length into my mouth. To taste him, suck him dry. This is my cock, and I’m staking claim.