I just sit and stare at the man who shattered my heart into a million pieces.
My mind says he's telling the truth, but my heart is so afraid to let him back in. Every day we were apart, I felt like I was hanging onto the end of a rope, fighting for my life while wanting to just let go, to fall into the unknown where emotions and feelings didn’t exist. I left this town and everyone I love because I couldn’t stand the pain. I couldn't handle it when everywhere I looked or went reminded me of him and the things we used to do with each other.
The pain stayed with me for years. If I’m honest, it never actually went away; it just became easier to deal with. My heart didn’t feel like it had been torn into shreds anymore; it still knew the ache, but it was easier and easier to cope with each day.
If it weren’t for Lucy, I have no idea where my life would be today. She was my strength. For Lucy, I would do anything, and I did. I picked up the pieces and started to put them back together. Now, all of these emotions are waging a war inside of me. I want so badly to believe him, but I’m so scared and still so hurt and angry at how he left. He betrayed me, and I just don’t know if I can trust him not to do the same thing again.
And yet…
Both my mind and heart are telling me this would be the best thing for Lucy and me. I still have one lingering question I need him to answer before I can decide whether or not I want to spend any time getting to know him again.
“You really don’t have a clue the hell and the heartbreak I went through, do you?” I ask softly. “You were my world, Luke, and for you to just leave like that? It did something to me. I keep telling myself how crazy I am for even talking to you. But this is tearing me apart and I just can’t take it anymore.”
I take a deep breath and look into those intense green eyes.
“Luke, I want you to know something. Some very bad people started sending threats to me before you left town. If that had anything to do with this, I will forgive you. But I need to know the truth. Why couldn't you tell me you had to go? Why just up and vanish in the middle of the night? You had to have known...” I trail off. I know I’m getting myself worked up again. All I need is an answer, not a fight. Not yet.
Luke’s eyes widen and he stares at me for a few moments. I can tell he is struggling with what he wants to tell me. He starts to look all around us as if he is making sure no one can hear what he is going to say, and then he leans in closer to me.
“Baby, it’s true. There was a client of my father’s who said he did not represent him as well as he should have at his trial. They lost the case and he was sent away for years. The problem was, even though the man was in jail, his family has a long reach. We started getting all kinds of threats from them, so my parents felt that it would be best to relocate.”
Luke grabs my hand and continues his story.
“A few years ago, we heard the guy died in prison, and we thought it was safe to come back. When I got here, the first thing I did was go to your house, but you weren’t there and your family wouldn’t tell me anything. I told them if they wouldn’t help me, I would hire someone to track you down. Your aunt got really upset and asked me to leave the house. Adam told me to back off, and that you were doing fine without me. Now I realize they were trying to protect you. I never knew you were receiving threats, too. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I just found out about all of this from Adam right before the funeral. Aunt Judy intercepted the letters, but she never told me about them and she made sure I went far enough away from here to get me out of danger. But that’s beside the point. You could have told me what was going on, Luke. I would have run with you.”
“Shayne, I begged my parents to let me take you with us, but they packed us up so suddenly. The next thing I knew we were driving. There was nothing I could do.”
“I don’t understand,” I say. “How did you get the note and the rose on my pillow if you had to leave so quickly? You could have woken me up and said goodbye.”
“I was riding in Antonio’s car with him and I begged him to let me stop at your house. I took one of my mother's roses and the note and left it on your front porch. So, my guess is Adam or your aunt put it on your pillow. I didn’t go into your room, and I knew I didn’t have any time to try to talk to you. I would have if I could-”
“I just don’t understand this at all, Luke. I have so many questions to ask,” I interrupt.
“I know you do, baby, but please not tonight. I just want to sit here and enjoy you, tesoro bella. It's been too long since I've been close to you.”