I remember the memory as though it were yesterday. I know that it is forever seared in my consciousness. I awoke to a darkened room and immediately knew that something was wrong.
“Where is Mommy?” I asked the man who stood in front of me, the latest stepfather in a long line of men that would come and go throughout my lifetime.
“Go back to sleep,” he answered.
“I’m thirsty” I lied, knowing instinctively that Mommy was gone and would not be returning. I needed to see for myself to confirm the worst of my fears.
My little feet padded behind the man so large that I had to strain my neck to see his face. What happened next was also something that would be etched in my psyche for the rest of my life. The huge man reached over and turned on the light. I watched, horrified, as the roaches scattered. They had been so numerous that the white of the oven could not be seen under the sea of rust colored vermin. To this day, I am still petrified by the sight of roaches for, to me, they signify the barbarity of abandonment.
Yes, I was correct… taking her journals had been a smart move because they reveal much more than studying her personality and mannerisms ever could. They’ll unlock the mysteries of her psyche and help me get into her head. If I can get into her head, then I can get into her heart and if I can get into her heart, I can finally sate this obsession I have for the woman. I have a long line of women at my disposal and, yet, I crave the one I can’t have. They say she is incapable of love. I’m hoping I can prove them wrong.
Johnnie
I knew he was intrigued with me by the way he’d been following me for the last six months but I had no idea the depth of the man’s obsession.
I can’t imagine what could have caused him to cross the line of sanity and kidnap me against my will. It isn’t like he can’t have any woman he wants. He is absolutely gorgeous. He stands at 6’2” with a solid, muscular build. He has black hair that falls in long layers over a prominent, strong forehead. His eyes are coal black and intense; they give the impression that he can always tell when I’m lying to him. His face looks like the gods cut it from granite just to tantalize us mere mortal women with its stoic perfection. I know he has money by the way he dresses. Each suit is tailored to fit his massive frame; the expensive material moves—no, flows—with each confident step he makes.
Every time he shows up when I’m waitressing at the strip club, the women I work with swarm him like bees to honey, only to be disappointed when he asks for me.
I’ve never stripped. I waitress because I can’t stand sitting with customers but he isn’t the type of man who takes no for an answer. He went to my boss who insisted I sit with him when he came and I’m certain money changed hands.
There were times when he would disappear for a couple of weeks and I would think he was gone but he always returned. I don’t know what his job is but, by the way he dresses, I’m guessing he owns his own company. He’s rich; there is no doubt about that. This house, his clothes, and the way he carries himself, it all points to him being very well off. I don’t care how much money he has or how gorgeous he is. All I care about is finding out why he is so fucking over-the-top obsessed with me. There is something very sinister about this man and I have every intention of finding out what it is.
Though I get the feeling he is a very private man and normally I would honor that, I gave up manners when he took me against my will. I threw etiquette out the window when he crossed that line.
The beep on the security system he has set up in my room pulls me from my thoughts. I look up to see the man I know as Cash entering the room with a woman trailing behind him carrying a white box with a red ribbon on it.
“That will be all, Clarisse.”
“As you wish, sir.” The woman in a maid’s uniform bends slightly at the waist as she speaks to him. I watch as she punches a code into the pad located by the door but she’s too far away for me to be able to discern what it is.
I look back in Cash’s direction to see him studying me through hooded eyes.
“If you attempt to escape, I won’t hesitate to punish you.”
“Excuse me?” I shriek.
“You heard me. I will not hesitate to turn you over my knee and wear your ass out.”
“Are you crazy? Seriously, are you fucking crazy?” I repeat.
A sinister chuckle escapes his full lips and he shakes his head, never breaking eye contact with me. “That, young lady, is still up for debate.”
“Well, I’m fucking convinced of it!”
“I’ll not tolerate my property speaking to me in such a crass manner.”