Any man who works Intel has, at one time or another, bonded with a mark. It’s an odd process that kind of sneaks up on you before you even realize it has happened. You’re looking through the sight of a gun, or a set of high-powered binoculars, watching her night after night. Then one night, while your waiting and anticipating her coming home, your cock stirs when you think about watching her undress. You’ve watched her disrobe, night after night, and now you find yourself looking forward to it. You kick yourself for turning into a mesmerized voyeur but it doesn’t change the fact that you’ve fallen for a stranger who doesn’t even know you exist.
You wait and wait. You begin to get antsy when she’s late and then you begin to get irritated when she’s even later. You continue waiting and each minute feels like hours. Finally, when she makes her way through the door, the weight of worry lifts off your shoulders and you know that you’ve gotten attached to a woman you, technically, don’t even know. Still, you feel like you know her intimately because she’s part of your life now.
Over time, you try and convince yourself that you don’t care but you can’t deny the jealousy burning you like a hot poker, stabbing into your gut when you think of her walking through that door with another man. No matter how much you try and deny it, deep down inside you know you’ve fallen for your mark and there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it. Just the thought of her bringing another man home and being forced to watch makes your blood boil. You cringe at the thought of another man’s hands being on the stranger you’ve claimed. In my case, I was glad when I found out she couldn’t bond and wasn’t having sex because of it.
You begin to think about them at odd hours of the day, hours you are supposed to be fulfilling other responsibilities. Your mind is plagued with your mark. You begin to think of ways to accidently run into them or ways you can meet them and insert yourself into their lives without them knowing you have been watching them.
You’ve watched them sleep, eat, and bathe. You’ve watched them sing and talk to themselves. You’ve watched as they did things they would be utterly embarrassed to do in front of anyone but themselves. A smile crossed your face as you watched them reveal their innermost thoughts, ideas, and feelings without knowing they were being watched. You have done the unthinkable. You have fallen in love with a complete stranger. The odd thing about it is that they aren’t strangers anymore because you’ve seen them at their best, their worst, and their most vulnerable. Now, you have no choice but to inject yourself into their lives because your heart won’t have it any other way.
The woman, who has captivated me from the first time I laid eyes on her, needs me and I will move heaven and earth to save her. I sent her on this job and I will damn sure protect her.
I don’t like the way I’m feeling right now. I hate the worry, thinking something bad might be happening to her. The thought of some son a bitch touching her almost sends me into a panic. I hate that I am so out of control because my emotions are involved. I can’t separate myself like I do with normal jobs.
My head is a freeway of chaotic thoughts and I’m not used to being in this state of mind. This is one of the reasons the guys and I argued about accepting a woman on the team. We dissected the reasons why having a female team member would be beneficial, but we also went over the drawbacks. We all know it’s in our nature to protect women; it’s just how we’re wired. Add the emotion of being in love, and it’s total torment. Yeah, waiting is one of the hardest things in the world to have to do when you are this emotionally invested. I can’t help it. I watched her for half a year and my heart is as connected to her as if we had actually been together for that whole six months. I don’t give a fuck if she isn’t capable of falling in love. I have enough for both of us.
God help that son of a bitch who is holding her right now. If anything happens to that girl… Already, I can’t imagine my life without her being in it. I can’t imagine not being there to save her from herself. I can’t imagine not watching her and dissecting every aspect of her schedule. I push the thoughts from my head. I am going to rescue her tonight and I will kill any motherfucker who gets in my way.
Johnnie
By now the woman’s moans have become screams of agony and the amount of blood confirms my worst fear; she’s hemorrhaging. Her gown is soaked with the evidence and I desperately try to push away feelings of guilt. I reach over as far as the chain permits to pull her by her ankles in my direction.
I scream out to anyone who might be outside the door.