“If only you’d left her alone,” Pierce said before I could disconnect. “Things could have turned out so differently.”
Lulu
I woke to the sound of Hunter’s tense voice, muffled through the bedroom door.
Somehow I’d fallen back to sleep after what happened, after he walked out. I was still in the position he’d left me, flat on my back, in only a bra, shorts hooked around one ankle. I reached down and dragged them and my undies up, covering myself. My body ached in a way I used to love. Now it only made me feel like shit. He’d treated me like the whore he thought I was. Had used something that was once beautiful between us to punish me. And I’d let him.
The realization that I hadn’t panicked when we fucked last night hit me next. I’d wondered for a long time if that would ever be possible, if I could be with someone again and not flip out. But then Hunter wasn’t just anyone. I’d always been okay with him. A lot of things had changed now, though. Thankfully, he hadn’t pinned me on my back last night.
My emotions had been so raw that all I’d been able to think about was how much I wanted him, how much I’d missed him. There’d been no room for anything else. God, I’d been in denial when we first got together, in a messed-up kind of fantasy world, where Hunter was my hero, and the bastard who controlled me, hurt me, would never get the chance again. I’d pushed it all down deep, buried it, the memories, the pain, the fear. I’d convinced myself it couldn’t touch me, not anymore.
I’d been wrong. So damn wrong. There was no fantasy world, and there was no burying what happened to me. I’d learned that the hard way.
I shoved my hands in my hair and slumped back.
The conversation going on in the living room was one-sided, so I knew he was talking on the phone. I strained to hear, but couldn’t make out anything he was saying.
Lying in here all day, hiding, wasn’t an option. He’d come back through that door sooner or later. I pulled myself into a sitting position, and winced at the deep throb between my legs. My body wasn’t used to Hunter’s size anymore and I was feeling it.
I’d only been with three men in my life. With two of those men it had been consensual, and only one of them had meant something to me. Hunter, the only man I’d ever loved. Then, after I ran, I screwed some guy in a bathroom stall at a club. The guy vaguely reminded me of Hunter. In the darkness, I could almost convince myself it was him. I felt so alone, so goddamn alone. I let him fuck me, desperately grasping for something, some kind of connection. I’d lost it before he’d finished, freaked out completely and he’d taken off . . .
The third man, I refused to think about.
My hair fell forward and I brushed it back, wincing when I felt the bump on my head.
Jesus, I’d screwed everything up.
And now, the only man who’d ever meant anything to me had just taken away all I had left of him. The memory of us. The tenderness we’d once shared. I didn’t know how much more I could take.
The door flung open, and I jumped. Hunter stared at me from the open doorway, and I felt my face heat, humiliation burning its way up my neck. I’d let him have sex with me after he told me just how much he hated me. I was pathetic, and we both knew it.
He moved in, tagged my tank off the floor, and flung it at me. “Get dressed.”
I kept my eyes down and yanked it over my head, covering myself. He moved closer, kneeling in front of me so he could unlock the chain around my ankle. His fingers grazed my skin and gooseflesh lifted on my arms, down the back of my neck. I seriously needed help.
He looked up at me, eyes glittering, taking in my flushed face. “Don’t tell me you regret what happened last night, Lulu?”
His voice was mocking, dripping with sarcasm. I looked away, stared over his shoulder. “Momentary insanity.”
He shook his head. “I don’t think so. I think you’ve wanted what I gave you for a long time. You couldn’t get enough.” He chuckled, a sound that I was growing to loathe. “Fuck, you were so wet I had you all over me, the way you were grinding against me. Fucking desperate. I was embarrassed for you.”
Before I could stop myself, my hand shot out and I slapped him hard across the face, so hard a red mark appeared almost instantly. His eyes turned cold and hot at the same time and he hissed a breath through his teeth, visibly trying to control his temper. Grabbing my wrists roughly, he shoved me to my back, covering me, pressing me into the mattress, and got in my face.
He didn’t speak, just shoved my thighs wide and ground his hard cock between my legs. I gasped, sucking in a startled breath. Those eyes did not leave mine as he held me immobile beneath him, as one of his hands drifted down over my stomach. I froze as he cupped me over my shorts, horrified when my hips lifted, seeking more. I had no control over myself when he was near. My pride up and took a hike.