Shattered King(100)

“Yes . . . maybe.” I threw up my hands. “I don’t know. I just . . . I can’t be here with you. Not now.” We stared at each other. His eyes communicated the pain he was feeling, and it made me want to shrivel up and disappear. Made me want to stop fighting, and let myself go under.

His face softened. “I get you’re scared, I get that, but running away . . .” He stared me down. “Don’t . . . don’t fucking do that, baby. We can work through this.”

I hugged myself tighter. “I have to think about my son . . .”

“Our son.” Fire snapped through his eyes. “You think I’d let anything happen to him, to you?”

“I-it’s not that simple.”

His hands went to his hips and he shook his head. “You’re not going to listen to me right now, are you? You’ve closed yourself back off, and I’m banging my head against a brick wall trying to get through to you.”

“You don’t understand . . .”

“I don’t understand?” His voice was deep, rougher than usual. “I was locked up, fucking powerless. Separated from my woman, my kid, and you’re telling me I don’t understand? I know what it’s like to feel helpless, to have no control over your own damn life. I know you’ve had some fucked-up shit thrown at you, baby, I do. You’ve been through things no woman should ever have to go through, but do not tell me I don’t understand.”

He moved toward me. “Life is short. It can be taken away when we least expect it, which is why you live it to the fullest. You work hard, play hard, and you fucking love harder. You do not run from it. If something’s worth fighting for, no obstacle will stop you from finding a way to make it work.”

He closed the space between us and curled his fingers around the side of my neck. I squeezed my eyes closed.

“Fucking look at me.”

I had no choice, but I didn’t want to look at him, positive as soon as he stared into my eyes, he’d see how my heart was breaking. I forced them open. His had gone soft again. He was killing me.

He slid his thumb across my jaw. “Tell me you’re staying.”

I shook my head, dislodging his hand, even as a sob clogged in my throat. “I can’t. I need time to think.”

He stared down at me for what felt like forever, eyes searching mine. Finally, he brushed my hair back gently, tucking it behind my ear. “You stay here. I’ll go. I’ll crash with Van, give you some space.”

I could see just saying that killed him. I couldn’t be here, though. Not now. “No.” I shook my head. “I need to . . .”

“I told you once before, if you left me again, I’d find you and bring you back, always.” His eyes bore into mine. “I meant it.”

“Hunter . . .”

He dragged me against him before I could form a reply, shoved his fingers in my hair, and brought his lips down on mine . . . hard. His mouth moved over mine possessively, the kiss deep, unyielding, destroying me all over again. I gripped his shoulders, whimpering into his mouth, hanging on until he finally pulled away with a rough curse.

He was breathing heavily, eyes burning into me, waiting, hoping that I’d say I’d changed my mind, that I’d stay.

I looked away, pain lancing me in two. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I can’t . . .”

His head jerked to the side. “No . . . you can, but you’re choosing not to.” Then he turned, and strode away.

I stared after him, biting my lip, desperately trying to control the emotion building inside me in ever-increasing waves, battering me one after the other. Finally, I turned away from the door. Van was standing across the room, arms crossed, eyes soft. “You sure about this?”

“No,” I admitted.

He released a rough breath. “Stay. Work it out.”

“I can’t.”

He watched me for several long seconds. He shoved a hand through his dark hair. “He needs you, Lulu. Shit, you’re all he’s ever wanted.”

I bit my lip harder, until I tasted blood. Why didn’t anyone understand? I felt like I was losing my damn mind, the walls were closing in. I needed to get the hell out of here. “I need to go and pack.”

That stare went from intense to disappointed. It was hard, but I ignored that, too.

“You’re making a mistake,” he said when I walked past.

I didn’t answer, because my heart was screaming he was right.

My head, however, knew this had always been inevitable.





CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO


Lulu

I put the straw to my lips and sucked down the last of my Appletini. It was sweet and sour and packed one hell of a punch. Drinking, going out, was the last thing I’d felt like doing, but Ruby wouldn’t take no for an answer. The girl could throw a bigger tantrum than Josh when she put her mind to it. Besides, I was going stir-crazy. I needed to get out of my own head for a while. So, in the end I’d given in.