Shattered Glass(118)

Rosa looked unsure, her eyes darting down. “He wants come with me.”

“Bullshit!” But Cai’s fingers dropped from Peter, and he blushed guiltily, tears wiped away before they fell. Peter looked at his arm where Cai’s hand had rested and then turned in slow motion to face his brother. “Cai?”

“We have to go,” the boy whispered and looked at me with despair.

I didn’t know which of them sounded more in pain. But I knew Cai was the one going to jail if he missed his psychiatrist appointment.

“Let me get my shirt on and some shoes, and I’ll take you. Come upstairs and wait.” I smiled in what I hoped was reassurance and followed him up. Peter and his chewed lip would have to wait. Darryl and his tears would have to wait. Rosa and her bodyguards, my breakfast, my career, the case—all of it would have to wait.





Chapter Twenty





How to Adopt a Teenager Without Your Consent

Cai sat on the bed while I finished getting dressed. When I turned around, he was tearing off the end of his fingernail, a line of red surfacing where the nail had been decimated. He stared at the blood for a second, then went to work on the next finger.

I knew he needed to talk, but we needed to go. If he was late, or didn’t show up, he would violate the terms of his home monitoring. Time was ticking away while I stood across from him, sneakers and socks dangling at my thigh. I struggled with how to handle him.

The problem was that I didn’t know where to start. Why was he crying? Was it his disorder? Was he having a depressive episode? That could only be solved with medication. Which just made me antsier to get him to the doctor’s office.

Or was he embarrassed about downstairs? Was he upset about Peter? The trial? The rape?

Christ. When I listed it like that, I was surprised the kid wasn’t a basket case. What was I supposed to say here anyway? It’ll be okay?

What a crock of shit. Nothing for this kid was going to be okay.

Suck it up?

I think Peter might actually shoot you if you say that to his brother.

A nervous laugh erupted from me and brought Cai’s eyes to mine. He fought a flow of tears, blinking and squeezing his lids tight. Only a few escaped and slid down his cheeks.

Shit. If this kid stuck around long enough, I was going to teach him how to be a real man. You know, by bottling up his feelings and letting them fester until an ulcer formed. A man wasn’t a man until the denial of feelings made him physically sick.

“What’s the address of the doctor?” Changing the subject. Genius!

“Dunno.” He sniffed and brutally wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. There were still droplets of water cascading from his wet hair over his cheeks. But fewer tears.

“Do you know the way there?” My genius tactic was working; the tears had almost stopped.

He shook his head and began to shiver violently. “N-never b-been there.” I needed to reset my air conditioning. On the other hand, he should have dried off before getting dressed and not have expected me to look out for him. I wasn’t his fucking father.

“Never been there?” I said more tersely than I meant to.

“N-new doctor. Miss J-Jackson set it up.”

“New doc— Was her name Kate?” He nodded. I wasn’t surprised. Over the years I had sent Angelica many juveniles to defend. More often than not, she put them in therapy with Kate Sherman. I took a seat beside Cai, making sure to give him space while I hurriedly stuffed my feet into my shoes. “We’ll talk in the car. Okay?”

“I’m f-fine.” The boy took a breath, steeling himself, rubbing hard at his face. He plastered on a smile so genuine that I was stunned. After one more shaky breath, the only way anyone could tell he’d been crying was the slight redness around his eyes. He even attempted to control his shivers.

I felt guilty for blaming him for crying. “You don’t need to hold it together, Cai. No one is going to mock you for feeling. If anyone has a right to cry, it’s you.” What happened to making him a man? Damn kid is getting to you.

He pulled out a packet of candy and emptied a handful of orange and brown pieces into his mouth. “I’m fine.” I was blasted by the scent of peanut butter.

“We will talk in the car.” After lacing my shoes, I yanked the bag of candy away. “And stop trying to get high off sugar. Fuckssake. Next bill I get for you is probably going to be the dentist bankrupting me.” I crushed the packet and tossed it in the trash on my way out.

Halting in the doorway, I twisted to view Cai behind me. He blinked and rubbed his arms, brows rising in question. If I still had the candy, I would have grabbed his hand and jammed the package back in it.