Shattered Edge(74)

My family and friends had been great, but there wasn’t a fucking thing they could do, unless they could bring her back. And we all knew that wasn’t possible. I knew I loved my girl. I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I knew she was the one and that there would be no other for me. I just didn’t know how bad I would miss her when she was ripped away so cruelly from me.

Even when other women started approaching me, I knew I’d never be over her. A new nurse at the hospital came up to me one day. She didn’t know about my past, had no idea of the tragedy I was living through. She put her hand on my arm, in a friendly gesture, and my whole body cringed. She looked at me oddly and immediately removed it. I made some lame excuse and hurried away from her. The thought of another woman touching me almost made me sick.

An idea began to take root in my mind. I wasn’t sure about it because Charleston had been my home for my whole life. With the exception of undergrad at Princeton and then my residency at University of Washington in Seattle, I had never any desire to leave Charleston. My feelings were changing. Without Terri and with every little curve in the street, every restaurant, every single thing I looked at here that reminded me of her, I was finding it increasingly difficult to live here.

I dared not broach this subject yet with my family, for when I did, I wanted to be sure about my decision. They would have a sense of duty to try to talk me out of it I was sure. The real question was, where would I go? I’d traveled extensively and had a few places I loved, but I never gave any real thoughts to living there. I would start to do that and maybe do some research too.

My gut twisted up when I thought about leaving here, the only true home I’d ever known. Cutting all ties with my past...with Terri...with my memories of her.

I was suddenly thrown back to that day at Pearce’s wedding as I stood in the front of the church and watched her carefully pick her way down that aisle. I knew she was scared shitless...waiting to stumble, but she never did. She was remarkable. Because of her, because of the courage and strength she had, I now gave every patient that faced the same kind of recovery, hope. Huge hope. And I told them all about how she overcame every obstacle that was thrown her way. And how she nearly lost that leg. I don’t tell them that she was the love of my life and they don’t see me when I go back to my office and cry like a baby. But after I leave their rooms, they have hope and they believe that they will be able to walk again..





CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT





Caroline



Six months...six grueling months of relentless investigations, inspections, late nights, sleepless nights, begging Pete to look at something else and we finally had it.

I’d been right. It was both of the suspected Mexican wholesalers. They had somehow created plastic crates with hollowed bottoms that they had filled with heroin, cocaine or meth. They also used a substance that they must have sprayed on the surface of the crates that covered up the scent of the drugs. The dogs had missed it every time. The DEA was analyzing it now and trying to determine exactly what it was. It was quite an ingenious plan too. They were connected to East Coast Wholesaler and when they shut them down, the entire Monterrey Cartel crashed in the United States.

The DEA arrested dozens of high ranking members of the cartel and were also able to grab many of their operatives located in the larger cites that were feeding some of the smaller dealers. It was the largest drug bust in the history of our nation. Millions of dollars worth of heroin, cocaine and methamphetamine were confiscated, along with the money that went along with it.

Immediately following, violence broke out in Mexico, resulting in massive gang wars between the cartels. It appeared that the Monterrey Cartel had been put to rest permanently. That was the good news. The bad news was there would be another one to step in to take its place.

I thought about what this really meant. To most of the people hearing this on the news, they would probably think, “Oh good,” and not think another thing about it. Even if Justin heard of it, he would never know how deeply this had affected his life. How it had changed the two of us forever.

I would have to find some way to pick up the pieces now. For the last six months, this was all I had focused on, pushing all thoughts of Justin aside. Well, that’s only partly true. He was with me all the time. Constantly. At night when I went to sleep, I imagined I could feel his warmth wrapped around me and smell the scent that was all him. I imagined how it felt when he kissed me and sent my heart racing and my blood coursing through my veins. He was always right there...so close, but yet never again would I feel him. Ever.