“Terri, I swear, I didn’t put it there, nor is it mine. I haven’t bought a condom in quite a while.”
I had to ask. “Could it be one that you’ve had from a while back?”
I heard him sigh. “Okay, I’ll answer that because it’s a fair question, giving what you know about my past. The answer is no. I haven’t carried around a condom in...well, ever since that ugly episode last spring. You know which one I am referring to. I haven’t used them because I went and got tested, found out I was healthy and decided I was not going to live my life like that anymore. I would never have initiated any type of sexual activity with you if I had any doubts about that. Are you satisfied?”
“I guess so.”
“What do you mean, you guess so? Either you are or you aren’t.”
“Well, damn it Justin, that thing had to come from somewhere. It didn’t just fall out of the sky.”
“I know Terri, but couldn’t it have come from someone other than me? Look, we can sit here and debate this all night if you want. One thing is crystal clear to me. You don’t trust what I’m telling you and that really hurts. The damn condom is not mine. End of story,” he clipped. “Now if you have anything else you’d like to talk about tonight, please feel free to call me back but I’m going to end this call, along with this discussion because I’m considering it closed.”
My phone cut off. He ended the call. We’d never done that to each other before. I stared at the phone and at all the little square Apps, not believing what just happened. He was right but I was too. We were clearly at an impasse. The thing is, if that condom wasn’t his, where the hell had it come from? They didn’t appear out of nowhere. Shit! I had a sinking feeling in my gut. This was not good at all.
My pacing wasn’t helping one bit. I knew I wouldn’t last five more minutes, so I gave into my need and called him back.
“Hey,” I said, my voice low. “I’m sorry.”
“Are you? Don’t say it because you think you need to say it. Say it because you mean it.”
Well damn!
“Can I come over?”
“Yes. You don’t have to ask Terri.”
“I’ll be there in fifteen.”
“Have you eaten?”
“Huh uh.”
“I’ll be waiting.”
My head was spinning, but I tore through my house and grabbed my things. The sky was darkened and heavy with storm clouds as I was headed toward downtown Charleston. I couldn’t help but think this was some kind of an omen of what would soon be taking place between us. I pulled into his driveway exactly fifteen minutes later and he was standing there waiting for me.
His gray eyes were dark and cloudy, but not with anger. It was pain that was reflected in them...deep, dark pain. “Your doubt really hurts me,” he said, his voice catching. I felt like a total shit. I wanted to cry, but wouldn’t allow myself to.
“I’m sorry Justin, I am. But I can’t figure this thing out and I guess I’ve had such a bad week that maybe I’m not looking at the whole picture. I’ve gone over everything in my head and the only other conclusion is that someone could’ve dropped it when they were putting in the security system or fixing the broken window.”
“So, you’re still not willing to give me the benefit of the doubt?”
“It’s more than that. It’s freaking me out a little. Did someone come into my house and accidentally drop it? Did you drop it? Did the security people drop it? My head is so messed up right now I can’t think straight.”
He rubbed his face with both hands and then said, “I understand how you’re mind is screwed up by everything. What bothers me though, is that you don’t trust me Terri. I’ve never lied to you or misled you since we’ve started seeing each other. Veritas numquam perit. Do you know what that means?”
I shook my head. Latin had never been my forte.
“It means, ‘Truth never perishes.’ I’m being truthful with you. I made you a promise and I haven’t broken it. If that condom is mine, it implies that I’m lying and I don’t like being called a liar.”
Now I felt like a complete and total shit.
“I totally get that. But Justin, what if someone broke into my house. What if Preston did it?”
“Well hell. I hadn’t thought about that. That’s a completely different thing.” He rubbed the back of his neck.
“You didn’t set the alarm this morning. It is a possibility.”
I was thinking along those lines when he said, “No more of that. Give your code to Alana. That system needs to be set at all times...even when you’re sitting at home during the day.”