Bree
“Honey? Are you okay?” I ask Jax, lamely. He’s sitting in our room, staring out the window. We’re all on lockdown since Briar’s death. Jax has been so quiet, withdrawn really. I don’t know how to reach him. He barely eats, he doesn’t talk much. If he didn’t come to our bed at night and hold me, I would worry that he is done with me. We’ve been moved to the club, into Jax’s old room. I wasn’t happy about it, but I wasn’t about to argue either. He’s going through enough. It took me a complete day to clean and scrub it. Jax promised he hadn’t been with a woman in there since it had been cleaned last, and I know he hasn’t touched anyone since we got together, but just the idea that something in there might have been left over made me uneasy. I even had one of the prospects get me new sheets. Better safe than sorry. Still, I can’t wait until the day we get back to the apartment. There, it was just the two of us, and I loved it. Now, I barely speak to him all day. We’ve been on lockdown for four days, but it feels like a year.
“Fine, Bree,” he says, as if I haven’t heard that answer each time I’ve asked it. It’s enough to make a woman cry.
“Honey—”
“Damn it, I said I’m fine!” he growls, and I’m standing behind him getting ready to put my hands on his shoulders. When he barks at me like that I jump back, holding my hands together instead of putting them on him. I know he’s upset about Briar. All the men are. Katie and Beth said Skull and Torch are a mess. The only difference is they’re holding onto their women. Jax isn’t. He keeps pushing me away.
“Okay. Dinner is served in the main kitchen,” I tell him, trying again. “You really should eat.”
“I’ll eat when I get hungry. It’s not your job to make sure I eat. We’re not married, Bree and you sure as hell aren’t my mother.”
“What’s going on with you?”
“Nothing. Just forget it. Go eat and visit with your family,” he mutters.
“I spend all my time with them. I want to be with you,” I tell him, and I’m doing my best to keep the tears at bay.
“Well, I don’t want to be with you. Understand?” he growls, looking over his shoulder at me. He looks so cold. I can almost feel my heart physically break. I was fooling myself. This is what happens when you love someone and they don’t love you. I thought I could be enough, could love him enough, so that this relationship would be good for both of us. What a fool I was. Maybe I am just a stupid kid.
“Yeah, I think I got it, finally,” I mumble, hating that I feel the sting of tears at the corner of my eyes.
“Bree—”
“I think you’ve said enough. I’ll be out of your hair in a minute.”
“What are you doing?”
“Packing.”
“Packing? Where the fuck you going to go? We’re on lockdown, and I doubt very seriously Skull and Torch want you in their room with their women.”
“It’s none of your business, is it? You’ve made it clear you don’t want me, I’m sure someone out there will.”
“Fuck no. You get your ass back here,” he yells, but it’s too late. I’ve given up packing, and I just march outside. I don’t want to be around him. I make it to the main room, which is really just a giant bar complete with music, tables, a dance floor, and stripper poles. I’ve decided these places are designed by men who are really little boys who never grow up. Jax grabs me just as I get there, pulling me back against him. I fight, pulling away trying to get free, but he clamps his arm around me.
“Let me go, asshole,” I hiss. I’m really tired of everything.
“Bree, damn it! Get back in the room. You can stay there. I’ll sleep somewhere else tonight.”
His words feel like a kick in the stomach, momentarily robbing me of breath. I thought I was hurt before, but now the hurt is so much more. Sleep somewhere else? I think on those words, mostly because right now, I can’t do anything else. I can’t breathe. Slowly, I turn around on him. I’ve gone completely still, so maybe that’s why Jax lets go. I’m not sure, and I don’t really care. I face him, and I hope he can see the pain he’s caused, but more than that I hope he can see the anger.
“And just where would you sleep, Jax?” I growl, and I don’t do it quietly. It echoes in the room, mostly because the room has gone quiet now.
“Bree mad,” I hear Diego say in the background, and my little cousin doesn’t even know the half of it.
“It doesn’t matter. I’ll find somewhere. Just get back in there.”