“Not if I love him. I don’t understand. Have you guys forgotten what I’ve been through? Why can’t you trust me to know that this happiness I have right now means everything? I’m owed this! I’ve never asked anyone for anything, but I need this guys. I need Jax.” God, I need him and I want to keep him.
“Breezy,” Katie breaks in, but Beth puts her hand on Katie’s arm and looks at me. Really looks at me.
“You’re sure he’s the one?”
“He makes me laugh. He makes me feel like I’m alive for the first time in my life. We laugh, and Jax doesn’t smile a lot. He has this half-smile he uses with everyone when he wisecracks, but he hardly ever laughs and gives a full smile. I make him do it all the time. He holds my hand when we’re watching television. And he does it in a way that I really don’t think he’s aware of it. He cooks for me…”
“Shaft cooks?” Katie appears skeptical.
“Well, he heats up soup and makes a mean hotdog.”
“Wow,” Beth says.
“Don’t make fun,” I grumble, because I love that Jax does those things for me.
“I wasn’t making fun. Poor Skull doesn’t even know how to turn the stove on.”
“Same with Hunter, even the microwave is beyond his basic knowledge.”
I stare the pair of them down. “The point you guys, is that he’s good to me. Good to me in a way that I know I always want to be with him.”
“You love him,” Beth concludes.
“With everything inside of me.” My eyes must have a dreamy look about them, but talking about my love for my man does that to me.
“I hate to be a broken record here, but you’re so young Breezy. You might find the same thing with boys your own age. You’ve not even finished high school!” Katie grumbles, and the high school thing is really starting to grate on my nerves.
“I’m just as old as Beth was when she met Skull, and I’ll be out of school in January. I’m graduating early because of my core work and scores. I even have eight hours of college credit under my belt. I’m not some kid you guys.” I can’t seem to stress that fact enough. “No matter how everyone insists on seeing me. I know what I want and that’s Jax.”
“Breezy, at least allow yourself to date and see what is out there—”
“Stop it! Just stop! Do you hear yourself? Do you know how many boys I’ve been attracted to in my life, Aunt Katie?”
She flinches. “No, but—”
“None. Not one. I’ve never been like the other kids at school. I’ve been through too much. I’ve seen too much darkness. I can’t pretend to want to be around those people. I don’t. They may be great people…but we have nothing in common.”
“Who’s to say that down the road you might find someone who will—”
“Do you honestly think that if you lost your husbands today that there would be another man who would even come close to who they are to you? Today? Ten years down the road? Twenty? Even fifty? I know in my heart that Jax is the man I’m supposed to be with for the rest of my life.”
“Nothing we say will change your mind, will it?” Beth finally says after we sit in silence for a few minutes.
I confirm, “Nothing whatsoever.”
“Good. Then we need a game plan on how to tackle the men and Pops, because we’re going to need a united front here,” Beth says, and I stop.
“Good? You mean you were okay with this all along?”
“Honey, I love Skull with all my heart. That kind of love is special. I have it, Katie has it—”
“I do, even if he’s an idiot, he’s my idiot,” Katie jokes, and I have to laugh. It lightens the mood.
“All we wanted to do is make sure you had that too. Skull told me he thinks Shaft is completely gone for you. He’s sure risking a hell of a lot by being with you. So, now we need to make sure we can contain Skull and Torch.”
“I’m afraid they may be the easy part in all of this. The one we really have to look out for…” Katie adds.
“Pops,” we all three say together and the worry can be heard echoed in each of our voices.
Chapter Forty-Six
Jax
My brother looks like hell. If I didn’t see the tattoos I wouldn’t even know it was him to be honest. He’s bloated, bruised and more than battered. Sabre has broken ribs, a broken arm, his jaw is broken, his eyes are swollen shut, while his chest and stomach are all varying shades of maroon, blue, and purple. I don’t know what the fuck he has been through, but it’s clear he’s been tortured, and tortured by someone huge. I can say that because there’s about a size fifteen boot impression against one of Sabre’s ribs. It’s a miracle he’s still breathing—even if it is by a machine. Sabre’s a hell of a fighter though. He’s moved his good hand twice since the brothers have been here, so we know he’s in there somewhere. That gives more hope than we have with Briar at the moment. Unfortunately, because he can’t talk, we still have no idea what happened to them, or how the fuck he ended up in a small county hospital four counties away from where the first attack happened. Something is stinking here, and I sure as hell wish we could find out what the fuck is going on.