A fucking grin! As if this shit is at all funny, and to top it off, Winter is whispering about Russians.
But even though I have this fine ass, southern guy following my every move, it isn’t going to stop me from seeing Haden. He needs a friend right now, and I am that friend for him. If I am being honest with myself, I need him just as much. I love my family, and I hate to admit, I even love Shadow, but I need a friend that doesn’t know half of what is going on so I can get it off my mind.
When I smirk and let Shadow know where we are headed, I expect a pissed off look. Instead, he eyes the shit out of that ho, Sabine. It infuriates me because, even though I understand him pretty well, I can’t read what the hell he’s thinking when he does this shit in front of me. It proves that I made the right call to ignore his it was a mistake speech the other morning. I am so glad I didn’t put myself through all that shit. A person can only take so much rejection and hurt. I am young, beautiful, and open to trying new things. He’d be lucky to have me. So with my blood on fire and my even more new determination, I plan to leave this fucker in his own shadow.
As he drives to Ma and Pop’s, I refuse to speak to him for two reasons. First, he didn’t hide the fact that he was checking out Sabine, and that is fucking bullshit. And two, instead of allowing me the freedom to walk down the street to the restaurant, he insisted he drive my damn car.
The vehicle isn’t even in park when I throw open my door and rush inside. He knows better than to yell for me to stop. The confusion I’m feeling over the bullshit between us makes me furious, and the fact that it bothers me so much makes me even angrier. I deserve better than this bullshit.
So what does a girl do when she wants to get out from under a guy? I’ll tell you what. She gets under another one. And what better way to do that than fuck an ex she’s already been with.
I have never been more excited to see Haden waiting on me than I am in this moment. A chair screeches behind me as Shadow takes a seat, and I hurry towards my glorious ex-boyfriend. When he stands like a gentleman to greet me, it makes me even more dead set to fuck him while Shadow is around. I grab Haden’s hand in mine and take off towards the women’s bathroom with a protesting Haden dragging behind me.
“Woah, babe, what’s going on?”
I jerk him through the door, shut it behind us, and move a big metal trashcan in front. It won’t stop anyone from entering, but it sure as shit will alert me if someone tries.
“I need to fuck,” I growl as I grab his shirt and push him into the nearest stall. “I need it so bad, it hurts.” Okay, it really doesn’t, but I wish it did. God, I wish I hurt right now.
“This isn’t like you,” he mumbles as my lips descend on his. “Dammit, babe!” he shouts and pushes me away. “Tell me what the fuck is going on, and I won’t mind helping you with your little problem. But only if you tell me the damn truth right now!”
Sighing, I lean against the side of the stall. “I’m on partial lockdown again. I’m so fucking tired of men ruling my life, and for once, I want to make my own damn decision. I didn’t know that my one decision would deny me.”
Haden pulls me into the tightest hug I have ever been in, and holds me while tears spill down my cheeks. “You need a friend, babe, not a fuck,” he murmurs into my hair.
I lose it, because I miss this part of us the most. Even when Haden was a douche, he knew me, and his words prove he still does. “I also know you well enough to know that look of love on your face, and it isn’t directed at me, babe.” I cry harder against his chest. “You’re in love with that guy back there, aren’t you?”
At this point, I sob uncontrollably into his shirt while he comforts me. “Yes,” I choke out.
“Look, this is what I know about you when you love a person, Tatiana. You love so damn hard, and you don’t ever give up on that person. You only gave up on me because I screwed up bad. I cheated, but deep down, you know it ran deeper. You knew it was because I couldn’t handle your lifestyle. I’m so damn ashamed to admit it, but I was a pussy, and I needed to feel as loved as you did, at the time.”
“That man out there is just plain stupid if he doesn’t love you back. You deserve so much, and I sure know he looked pissed when I turned my head to look at him when you were dragging me off. That look was the look of straight up jealousy. If you listen to anything I say, listen to this. He lives the lifestyle you have grown up in. He understands it far better than anyone else could. So, if you’re thinking about asking me for advice, listen to everything I said.” He chuckles into my hair and pulls my face up to look at him. “And listen to this, too. Know that I think you’re foolish if you give up on him. Men are stupid. Yes, I’m admitting that for all of us. We do stupid stuff. We don’t admit our feelings until it is too late or close to being too late.” He murmurs, his hands squeezing my cheeks with each point he tries to stress.