Still…she really shouldn’t get herself into such an intimate situation with the man who had kidnapped her. Then set some limits—just like you said, whispered a little voice. Lay down some rules before you get started.
Yes, that was the thing to do—lay down the rules.
“Okay,” she said, climbing onto the bed beside him. “Here’s how it’s going to be: I’ll touch you—you are not going to touch me in any way in return. Got it?”
“Agreed,” he rumbled, nodding.
“Second,” Nina continued, “You have to lie perfectly still with your hands above your head, just like they are now.”
He nodded again. “Is there a third stipulation?”
“Well, yes.” Nina took a deep breath. “I want it understood that I’m just doing this to help you with the collar. It’s not…not personal.” Not that she didn’t want it to be personal, but she couldn’t let herself go there with him—not if she wanted to keep her heart intact.
He studied her for a moment, and his eyes hardened.
“Fine,” he said at last. “I agree that it’s nothing personal.”
For some reason, Nina’s heart tightened, but she forced herself to nod.
“Good.”
“Good,” he echoed. “So go ahead—test your theory. I have a feeling if you don’t get started soon the damn collar will take matters into its own hands—if you know what I mean.”
“I do. Okay, here goes.”
Nina took another deep breath, her hands hovering over his chest.
Just think of it as a massage, she told herself. Pretend you’re back at Massage Envy giving a difficult patient a relaxation massage.
Only Reddix was a lot more than difficult—he was angry and tortured and twisted by years of pain. Not to mention so gorgeous it hurt to look at him. Even the scars he’d inflicted on himself somehow didn’t detract from his physical beauty. The white scars were like wounds from his own personal war—a war he’d been in for so long he’d forgotten how to be normal.
“Well?” he asked, and she realized Nina was taking too long to get started.
Stop psyching yourself out and just do it, she commanded herself. Closing her eyes, she put her hands on the warm, hard wall of his chest and began to rub in long, slow strokes. He had a small patch of black hair between the flat copper disks of his nipples—it felt slightly rough under his fingers and led in a narrow trail down his tight abdomen and under the thin fur blanket.
Nina let her fingers wander, absorbing the feel of him through her hands. She touched people all day long for a living but never like this. As much as she tried to tell herself otherwise, touching Reddix, stroking his big body, was different—personal. She could almost feel the years of torment and hurt trapped under his skin. Could almost sense his deep, unspoken longing to be touched…cared for. God, he was so broken inside—and she wanted so desperately to fix him…
Reddix made a low sound in his throat, and Nina froze and opened her eyes.
“Is everything all right? Did I hurt you?”
“Never.” He shook his head. “It’s just…been a long time.”
“I understand,” she murmured. The hunger was back in his silver eyes, and she thought she could understand now how he could have lost control earlier. Really, it had been incredibly callous of her to suggest massaging him without thinking about how long it had been since he was able to enjoy any kind of casual touch, not to mention sex. Most men she knew were climbing the walls if they went without for a week, and Reddix hadn’t been with anyone for over ten years. Not that she was volunteering herself to break his dry spell—that would be way too personal. But still…
“How’s the collar doing?” he asked, his voice slightly hoarse as she continued to rub his chest and shoulders.
“Okay, I guess.” Nina frowned, studying the black wire contraption around his strong throat. “The lights are blinking but not very fast like they do when it seems to be, uh, feeding.”
He shook his head. “That’s it then—this isn’t working.”
“It has to,” Nina protested. “I think maybe I just have to touch you, uh…”
“More intimately?” He raised an eyebrow at her, and she felt her face getting hot.
“Yeah. Pretty much,” she mumbled, feeling suddenly ashamed. “I’m sorry—this makes me feel like such a freaking pervert.”
“Don’t,” he said simply.
But Nina couldn’t help it. “I just want you to know I didn’t suggest this so I could, uh, take advantage of you,” she went on, hastily. “I would never—”