“Then come tell her that,” Saber said quietly.
“What?” Reddix looked at his friend in irritation. “Now why in the Seven Hells would I do that?”
“Because you’re a decent person inside, even though you act like a total ass at times,” Saber said grimly. “Lissa told me how you left things with Nina—you let her think you didn’t care, that you only used her to cure your RTS. That’s wrong, Reddix. You owe her more than that.”
“Goddess damn it…” Reddix rubbed a hand over his face. “Don’t you think I know that? But I was afraid if I tried to explain she’d insist on staying together. And the witch showed me how that would end.”
“What exactly did she show you?” Saber demanded. “And what makes you so sure you can trust her?”
“Because she told me the truth about everything else,” Reddix growled. “She never pretended she could cure my RTS completely—she said she could mute it, which is exactly what she did. It’s livable now—bearable. So why would she lie about this?”
“Because she’s a witch,” Saber said patiently. “Because she hates us—all of us but especially your father.”
“What?” Reddix looked at him, startled. “What do you mean? Why?”
Saber shook his head. “I don’t know why exactly. I only know what my father told me—that apparently before your mother came along, Redan was supposed to join with Xandra.”
“He never told me that.”
“Probably because he never thought you’d go seek her out. According to my father, they had a falling out years ago. Then Xandra went to live in the swamp, and they never saw each other again. Think about it…” Saber tapped his forehead. “She might be carrying a grudge. She might have shown you something completely false just to make you miserable.”
Reddix frowned. “I wish I could believe that’s true but…no. I don’t think so. What she showed me…it had the ring of truth to it. It makes sense. What ties a Kindred and his bride together? Their bond. We’re genetic traders, Saber. We travel the stars looking for new blood to join with ours. What makes us able to form a life with such different beings, to overcome the challenges of new cultures and religions and attitudes? Our bond. If I can’t give that to Nina, she’ll leave me.”
“And that’s the heart of the matter, isn’t it?” Saber raised an eyebrow at him. “You’re afraid she’ll leave you—so you left first.”
“I…” Reluctantly, Reddix nodded. “I suppose you’re right. I told myself I was trying to spare her pain, but when you put it that way, what I did sounds cowardly and weak.”
“There’s no shame in being afraid, Brother.” Saber squeezed his shoulder gently, and Reddix “heard” the care and worry the other male felt for him like a distant murmur of waves crashing on a beach. “I was frightened damn near to death when Lissa and I were on Yonnie Six together,” Saber continued. “Frightened I would seem less than a male in her eyes, that she would lose respect for me and leave me. So I did the same thing you did—I left first.”
“You did?” Reddix frowned. “Why did you never tell me about this?”
“I was ashamed,” Saber admitted. “I loved her so much, but I treated her so badly.” He smiled. “But somehow, she found it in herself to forgive me, though I truly didn’t deserve it.” He squeezed Reddix’s shoulder again. “I saw the way Nina looked at you, Brother. I would bet my life she’ll find a way to forgive you, too.”
Reddix sighed. “But won’t I just make things harder for her? Explaining how I truly feel but that we still can’t be together?”
Saber looked thoughtful. “I think it will be easier for her than thinking you used her and tossed her aside. A female likes to know that you think of her and care for her—even if you can’t show it or do anything about it. Truly, I think you should come with me. You owe Nina an explanation.”
Reddix knew he was right.
“All right,” he said with a sigh. “I’ll come. Even if she spits in my face, at least I’ll get to see her one last time.”
Saber smiled. “She won’t spit in your face. Come, Brother—let’s go. We have a joining ceremony to get to.”
Chapter Thirty-four
“That was a gorgeous ceremony.” Olivia sighed happily as she plopped down next to Nina and Lissa at the round table in the reception area. It was a large white tent with open sides set up right next to the sacred grove where the wedding had been held. Nina was glad to see that every table looked perfect with a centerpiece of exotic alien flowers surrounded by the miniature picture frame place settings and the tiny bags of almonds.