Reddix shook his head. “There’s a pilot already at the controls. I’m staying here.”
“To help Saber get everything in order?” Nina asked. “Do you want me to stay too? Or come back later?”
He frowned. “No, you’re going back to Earth, and I’m staying here on Tarsia. Permanently.”
“I…I don’t understand.” Nina released her hold on him and stepped back a pace. “What are you saying, Reddix? I thought we agreed that if things worked out for Saber to be the OverChief you and I would…would stay together. That we’d build a life together.”
“That was before.” He looked down at the ground, scowling.
“Before what?” Nina was beginning to feel sick at her stomach. “Before you remember you were engaged to Tilla?”
“Tilla has nothing to do with this,” he growled, glancing at her briefly. “I told you I don’t want anything to do with her.”
“But you don’t want anything to do with me either? Is that it?” Nina shook her head, feeling like she was in the middle of a bad dream. “Reddix, look at me! What is this all about?”
“It’s about you leaving, and me staying here. Is that so hard to understand, sweetheart?” he snapped sarcastically.
“But…I…” Nina shook her head. “I don’t get it. I thought…thought we cared about each other. I thought we wanted a life together.”
He laughed harshly. “Looks like you thought wrong.”
Nina stared at him. A strange, high buzzing had started in her head. A feeling of unreality so strong she kept expecting to wake up at any minute consumed her. This couldn’t be happening, could it? He had never actually said the words, I love you—neither of them had. But it was understood, wasn’t it? He loved her, didn’t he? She could tell it by the way he had begged her forgiveness for Tilla, the way he had come hunting for her in the swamp?
The swamp, she thought suddenly. The swamp witch has something to do with this!
“What did she do to you?” she asked, taking a step toward him. “The witch—what did she do? Did that potion she give you make you feel different…strange? You haven’t been the same since you took it.” She took his hand in both of hers. “Please, Reddix, tell me.”
“The only thing different about me is that my RTS is cured now. So I don’t need an emotional damper hanging around all the time touching me.” He yanked his hand out of hers and took a step back.
“So that’s it? That’s really it?” Realization began to dawn on her. “Of course, that’s it,” she murmured, answering her own question. “You don’t need me anymore. You’re free of your RTS, and now you want to get rid of me too.”
“Now you begin to understand,” he growled.
“I understand, all right.” She crossed her arms tightly over her chest and took another step back from him. “I understand that you’ve been using me, right from the start. All you ever wanted was a cure for your RTS—that was why you kidnapped me in the first place, right? And then you probably set things up with the witch so that she would come and get me and take me back to her hut.”
“Now wait a minute,” he protested. “I never—”
“She told me,” Nina went on, overriding him. “She told me that having a willing victim for the sacrifice would make her potion more effective. Is that why you made me care about you, Reddix? Is that why you made…” She choked but forced herself to go on. “Made me love you? So I’d be willing?”
“Nina…” The hardness in his silver eyes had melted, and the look on his handsome, scarred face was desperately unhappy, but Nina was too upset to see it.
“No.” She turned away from him and headed toward the waiting shuttle. “I don’t want to hear anymore. I just want to go. I want to get out of here and never see you again.”
“Good—then go.” His deep voice went harsh again. “It’s better this way. Better for both of us. I’m no good for you, Nina.”
She turned to face him once more. “It looks to me like you’re not good for anyone but yourself. Goodbye, Reddix. Have…have a nice life.”
She wanted to leave without breaking down, didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry. But on the last word, the tears burst forth, and she couldn’t stop a sob from escaping before she turned her back on him and ran into the shuttle.
* * * * *
Reddix stared after her, feeling like she’d ripped his heart out and was taking it with her. But what could he do? He was letting her go—giving her freedom for her own good. He could have let her down easier, tried to explain—but that would never work. He knew Nina, knew how persistent and tenacious she could be. She would never give up on them if she thought he still cared for her. That he still loved her. So he had to lie, had to send her away thinking he’d used her. And if she hated him for it, well, that was better than ruining her life—wasn’t it? Wasn’t it?