Shadowdance(44)

She knew this. The elders, who’d seen their family and friends wither and die, had a haunted look in their eyes now and then. Ian Ranulf had carried that look until he’d met his Daisy. Lucien carried it still. Mary understood that loneliness might one day become a crippling thing. Certainly, on occasion, loneliness, bitter and sharp, would pain her. It crept closer as the years rolled on.

“You would choose death, then?” she asked. Was he truly so unhappy? But she knew the answer. It was written in the very lines around his hard mouth and deep-set eyes.

Talent sighed, a heavy lift and fall of his chest, and then ran a hand through his hair. His hand stayed at the back of his neck, squeezing it. “I merely wanted to know if you were happy.”

Why did he care? She could not ask, for she feared hearing the answer.

“For now, I believe that my life is a gift. The moment Adam raised me up from the pavement, my body was whole and strong in a way it had never been before. I am in possession of more than most women could hope for. Freedom, self-sufficiency, and the ability to protect myself physically. I’ll never grow old, never die, and yes, I realize that particular gift might not be welcome one day.”

She shrugged. “As do I realize that I’m still in my natural youth. I’ve not lived through the death of all that is recognizable and true about my human life. But I am well enough at the moment. I’ve friends, a position that makes me proud, and a home that is solely my own.”

Oddly, Talent appeared less and less pleased as she spoke. Did he want her to be miserable? Or was it that he found her views unbelievable?

Mary straightened and faced him head on. “Satisfaction, Mr. Talent. That is the prevailing emotion I feel when I consider the choices I’ve made.” She was satisfied with her life. Save for one thing. Jack Talent. The ever-present burr in her side.

He looked at her for a long moment, his expression giving no hint of his thoughts. And then turned away. When he spoke, his dark, smooth voice was thoughtful. “And the freedom you had to exchange for your life? Your arrangement with Lucien?”

Talent’s attention did not move from the window, yet she knew he was aware of her every move by the way his side tensed, as if waiting for a blow. He despised touch as well. Perhaps more than she, but he did not shy away from contact with her either. Before she could reconsider, she found herself speaking.

“It was an act between Lucien and me. From the very start.”

A change rippled over Talent, hardening his features into something resembling marble. Still he did not turn his head to look at her. “I have no interest in what lies between you and Stone, Chase.”

“Yes you do.”

His head whipped about then, his glare ferocious. She did not flinch. “Lie to yourself, if you like, Talent. But you cannot lie to me. You would not take every opportunity to get in a snide remark about my relationship with Lucien if it did not factor.”

Talent’s nostrils flared on a sharply drawn breath. “You speak of lies.” Suddenly he was closer, his broad chest nearly touching her. “Do not forget, Chase, I’ve seen your little show. Many times.” Mary wanted to wince then but held firm as his harsh words scraped along her skin. “You appeared to enjoy yourself…” His gaze wandered over her breasts. They were well hidden by her bulky cloak, but even so, her nipples tightened.… Quite well.”

“Appearances can be deceiving. You ought to know that firsthand.”

Talent’s head tilted as he continued to watch her. “Oh, I know. And yet I still find it hard to believe, having been witness to your breathy little sighs.”

Her cheeks turned tight and hot, yet she stood her ground. “I felt nothing. Feel nothing when it comes to carnal acts.” The sad truth was that Mary was broken in her own way. She did not yearn for a man, or even a woman for that matter. Lucien had quite despaired for her in that regard.

His gaze narrowed. “Then you are quite an accomplished actress.”

“Why would I lie?” That she kept her voice neutral was a miracle.

“Good question.” His lip curled in a sneer. “Better yet, why would you let Stone fondle you in front of the world if it was all an act? What could possibly be worth that sort of debasement?”

“Call it payment of a debt.”

He snorted at that. “Let it go, Chase. Your story doesn’t hold water. While I personally think the man is a useless ponce, I have eyes in my head. No man blessed with his looks need employ a false mistress. It makes no sense.”

And here is where it grew complicated. “That is Lucien’s secret to keep.”