"I get it, but that doesn't mean you don't need to be safe."
"You're right, but I've been doing okay." She gave me a half-smile as she continued, "I'll try to be more careful."
"If you ever get in a bind … "
Before I could finish my thought, my burner started to ring. I took it out of my pocket, and when I saw that it was Murphy calling, I quickly answered, "Yeah?"
"You in with Hoss?"
"Not yet. Had to take care of something."
"Does this something have to do with that chick from last night?"
"Not exactly."
"Um-hmm," he taunted. "I'll let you get back to it. Just let me know if you need a hand with Hoss."
"About to head that way now." After I hung up the phone, I turned to Alex and said, "I gotta get going."
"I kind of gathered that." She smiled and said, "But before you go I wanted to ask … would you like to come over for dinner tonight?"
My back stiffened. Her invitation caught me off guard, and my tone was almost harsh as I answered, "That's not a good idea."
"Why not? It would give me a chance to thank you for your help today … with the boxes and you know … those guys out back and all."
"That's not necessary."
"What if I want to?"
I was going to tell her no. The words were right there on the tip of my tongue, but then I looked into those beautiful dark eyes and I couldn't bring myself to say the words. "It'll be late before I could get here."
She grabbed a piece of paper, and after she wrote her number down, she handed it to me and said, "Doesn't matter what time. Just text me when you're on your way."
"Okay."
"Oh, and when you get here, just ring the buzzer outside the door. It's the one right next to the bookstore entrance. You can't miss it."
Even though I knew it was a bad idea to spend time with her alone, I nodded, then immediately turned and silently cursed myself as I walked out of the store. I needed to get a fucking grip before things got out of hand, but it wasn't going to be easy. I couldn't deny the fact that Alex had an effect on me, and it was my own damn fault. When I was around her, I let the memories of all those horrible nights of my childhood slip to the back of my mind. I didn't think about how I'd let my only friend down, how I hadn't been there in the way that she needed me to be. I managed to block out the sounds of her cries, the aching in my heart, and how my very soul was plagued with regret. I didn't think about the war, the countless explosions, the stench of death that lingered in the air, or the pain and starvation I'd endured while in captivity. All of those things were forgotten when she was close to me. Alex brought me out of the shadows, and even though I was being selfish, I wanted to remain there in the light with her. She deserved more than a man riddled with regret, a man who didn't know how to love or be loved, but I was helpless to resist her. Even though I'd tried to fight it, I'd let my guard down, and I wasn't sure I had it in me to put it back up. I wasn't sure I even wanted to. Damn. I was fucked. I jumped on my bike and started back towards the clubhouse, knowing exactly what I had to do. There was only one way I was going to get Alex Carpenter out of my head, and one way only. It was time for me to visit Hoss.
Alex
After all these years, I could still remember my last training session with Marcus. It seemed like it was only yesterday when I was standing in front of him with the sweat beading across my brow while I waited for him to make his next move. For a man in his late forties, he was in exceptional shape. He had a toned, athletic build, and with his tall height and menacing, dark eyes, he could be quite intimidating when he wanted to be. Over the years, I'd learned a great deal about self-defense and him. Marcus wasn't a man who liked to lose, but after training for over an hour, I could tell from his sluggish movements that I was finally wearing him down. Man, how he hated that. He never once let me get the best of him, so it was only a matter of time before he tried to kick it up a notch. I figured he'd either come at me with a side kick, hoping to throw me off balance, or he'd advance with a combination of jabs and uppercuts, forcing me to shield the blows. While he always tried his best to keep me guessing, after years of working with him, I'd learned all his bags of tricks. I skirted over to his left, then back to his right, all the while taunting him with my overconfident smirk.
"You must remember … that a well-planned attack is fought with your mind, not your body," Marcus warned with a calm, yet stern voice.
"Um-hmm," I mumbled with an annoyed eyeroll. "You've mentioned that a time or two."
I'd barely gotten the words out of my mouth when he lunged forward and slipped his foot beneath mine, causing me to fall flat on my back. He stood over me with a disapproving scowl as he growled, "Then, maybe you should listen. It might keep you from ending up on your ass … or worse. Dead."
I pulled myself up into the sitting position and said, "Dramatic much?"
"It would do you good to drop the attitude." He extended his hand and helped me to my feet. "It's your life we're talking about."
"Yeah, but who's really gonna go to all this trouble just to get their hands on me?"
"Let's hope you never have to find out. Now, let's go again."
While there were times when he was overly intense and a bit overbearing, I knew he wanted to make sure I was prepared to handle anything that might come my way. At the time, I had no idea why he was so concerned. At eleven, I was simply too young to ask the right questions. I just knew that Marcus treated me like I was one of his own, like I was his own daughter, and I loved him for it-until I found out the truth, but that didn't happen until many years later. By then, he'd trained me to the best of his abilities, and he'd trained me well-very well. Even though that was a lifetime ago, I wasn't frightened when those two jerks showed up in the alley. In fact, I found myself hoping that one of them would try something stupid just so I could see if I still had the means to take them down. But before I had a chance to tap into my old skillsets, Shadow came charging out the backdoor.
The last thing I needed to do was draw unnecessary attention to myself, so I couldn't exactly let him see me take those guys down. I'd managed to keep my true identity a secret for seven years, and there was no reason to blow that now-especially after how hard I'd worked to keep anyone from finding out the truth. I knew it was a bad idea to even consider getting involved with someone, especially a man like Shadow. I knew nothing about him, nothing at all. I'd like to say that I was a good judge of character, but considering my past and how I always believed my father was someone he wasn't, I had no way of knowing if I could trust my gut instincts. Hell, for all I knew, he could've been a serial killer, a closet crossdresser, or a sadomasochist asshole who preys on women in bookstores, and yet, I still invited him to dinner. The more I thought about it, the more I started to wonder if I'd made a huge mistake, and just as I was about to work myself into a tizzy, Jason walked into the store.
Without even saying hello, he gave me one of his looks and said, "What was up with you last night?"
"Nothing was up with me. Why?"
"I don't know. Maybe because you said you had to leave early because of work, but then I find you outside talking to a bunch of fucking bikers," he grumbled.
"I did have to work, and I wasn't talking to a bunch of bikers, Jason. I was talking to only one."
"Well, that's one too many, Alex."
Suddenly feeling defensive, I snapped, "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Those guys are bad news, Alex. They're into some bad shit. You should stay as far away from them as possible," he warned.
"Well, for somebody who's bad news, he was there to make sure I made it to my car safe and sound last night, and then, he helped me out this morning when two goons tried to give me a hard time."
His eyes widened as he hammered me with questions. "What the hell are you talking about? What two goons? Did anything happen? Are you okay?"
"I'm obviously fine, Jason, and it was no big deal. Just two young kids trying to act like they were tough, but Shadow ran them off."
"Shadow?" He grimaced. "The guy's name is Shadow? For fucks sake, Alex. Doesn't that tell you something right there? You're lucky you made it to your fucking car. God knows what this guy could've done."
"If you were so concerned, then why didn't you come out to help me last night?" I snapped.
"After the look you gave me? Are you kidding me?" he huffed. "It was pretty clear you didn't want me out there, but just so you know, I was watching from the window the entire time. I even had the bouncer waiting to step in if that asshole tried to pull something."