Shadow (New Species #9)(7)

“They gave me drugs.” He couldn’t refuse to tell her his story. “The breeding drugs.”
“What are those?”
She hadn’t come from Mercile. She’d been spared the testing, had been given away to an investor—a more personal, hellish experience in his mind. Gift Females had been cut off from all others of their kind and most of them had been murdered at the hands of their abusers.
“Mercile invented a drug that increased our sex drives to near insanity.” Shame filled him that he’d been used that way. “They did things to us to force out our semen to sell.”
“Why would they do that?”
“They wanted to freeze it and sell it to other humans who believed they could use female humans to carry our young inside their wombs. They planned to sell the infants.”
Beauty snuggled tighter against him. “I’m sorry. Were they able to do it? Do you have young out there?”
“The doctors don’t think it worked. I desperately want to believe that is true. I have nightmares about helpless infants in the hands of those monsters. My offspring.” His voice deepened but he tried to refrain from snarling. “I would track them down and save them if it was the last thing I did, even knowing I’d die.”She continued to stroke his chest and he appreciated the comfort she tried to give. “The doctors are smart. I’m sure they wouldn’t say that unless they believed it. I know Dr. Trisha and Dr. Alli well and they wouldn’t lie to us.”
“I know. I trust them too. Our sperm dies quickly and they said it wouldn’t have survived the freezing process they used to ship it to another country. That’s where the buyers were located.”
“You should stop worrying about that then.”
He hated to do it but he shifted a little. His ass was starting to hurt from sitting too long in one spot on the hard wood under him. Beauty didn’t seem to mind or even notice since she didn’t protest in any way.
“The storm is passing. I should radio for help.”
“It’s still raining.” She pulled away from him enough to stare into his eyes. He loved hers. They were such a soft brown and so sweet that it amazed him that she could trust anyone after what had been done to her. “Stay with me. Please?”
He didn’t want to leave her either. “I’ll stay for a little while longer but then I must call in for a female officer. You need to be returned to the women’s dorm.”
She smiled. “Isn’t that funny?”
“What?”
“That we call it that. Do you know what has been difficult for me to learn since I came here?”
“What?” He was curious and liked it when she appeared amused.
“I was raised around all humans and they never used the terms female or male. I’ve had to try to learn to use those words. And there is the whole ‘human’ thing. They were just people to me. Why isn’t it females’ dorm instead of women’s dorm?”
He couldn’t help but smile back. “I’m unsure. I think that’s just what the building was named when we were brought here and it stuck.”
“Why are Species called female or male instead of women or men?”
“Mercile referred to us solely as that. They were men and we were less. Just males.”
He hated to see her humor fade as sadness invaded her gaze. “Oh. I know about being thought of as less.” Her chin lifted. “The guards gave me mean names.”
He didn’t even want to know what she’d been called. It would piss him off. “I like the name you took.”
“The rescue team chose this one for me and I kept it.”
“It is very fitting.”
She smiled again. “You think I’m attractive?”
Beauty took his breath away and trapped it inside his chest until he forced his lungs to work again. “Yes.”
“Good. I think you’re attractive too.” Her hand left his chest and timidly rose to his hair, her fingertips brushing the ends of it. “Why is it so short?” 
“I worked with the task force of humans who work for the NSO. I just returned to Homeland days ago. I lived in the basement at the unit’s headquarters. We cut our hair to fit in with the others.”
“I hate basements.” Her hand lowered to curve around the top of his shoulder and made him very aware of her light touch. “Did you have windows?”
“No.”
“I didn’t either,” she admitted. “I remember the times I was taken out into the sunshine.” Her eyes closed as if she clung to the memory so she could picture it vividly in her mind. Her expression validated his guess when she smiled. “It was so warm and bright. Those are some of my best memories of growing up.”
“I’m glad you had some good ones.”
Her eyes opened and she smiled. “There was a small courtyard with grass and a water fountain. Once a week I was allowed outside for an hour or two. Master didn’t like how pale my skin would become and he said I needed a little color.”
Shadow wanted to wrap his fingers around the human’s throat and choke the living shit out of the one who’d abused Beauty. She was grateful that someone had allowed her time out of her cell because they hadn’t liked the way she looked. It also explained why she would run outside during a storm. She had no idea how dangerous it could be.
“Promise me something, Beauty.”
“Okay.” The instant agreement stunned him a little. She didn’t even know what he wanted but granted his request. It reinforced her innocence.
“Stay indoors when there’s a storm. You could have been struck by lightning or a tree could have fallen from the wind and rain. It’s dangerous to go out in them.”
“I know.”
“Then why do it?” He frowned, showing his displeasure.
“I just wanted to do something, anything, to break free I guess.”
“You are free.”
Her hand slid from his shoulder to the center of his chest and she ducked her head, laying her cheek against him. “I’m really not, Shadow.”
Her words alarmed him. “What do you mean? You are free. Is someone saying otherwise? Look at me. Tell me.”
She hesitated. Had someone at Homeland abused her? Frightened her? Was someone bullying her and ordering her to do things she didn’t want? He’d get her to talk and he’d immediately handle the situation. He’d beat on anyone who intimidated her.
“I’m a Gift Female,” she whispered.
“Yes. Who has frightened you? Who gives you orders?”
She finally met and held his gaze. “No men are allowed to approach or talk to me. I’m not allowed to work with them the way the bigger women do. We never leave Homeland to visit Reservation.” Tears glistened in her eyes and it tugged at his heart instantly.
“It’s for your protection.”
“Against what? You? Are you going to hurt me?”
“Never!”
“Exactly. Are other Species men going to hurt me?”
“No. They’d never dare.”
“I’m…” Her voice died.
“You’re what?”
“I’m lonely.”
Her tears spilled over and slid down her cheeks. He couldn’t resist wiping them away with his thumb. It hurt him to see them. “You’re surrounded by females. I’ll talk to them and they will spend more time with you. Just tell me what you need to make sure you get it.”
“You’re the first man who has ever held me, Shadow.”
Her words slowly sank into his stunned mind.“Male. Sorry.” She sniffed. “You’re holding me. You don’t want anything more than to keep me warm and comfort me. I’ve never sat on someone’s lap before or gotten to listen to their heartbeat. Even touched their hair.”
He was mute, astounded.
“I listen when men visit my friends but that’s never going to happen to me. I’d never have gotten to speak to you if it wasn’t for you finding me in the storm and bringing me here to safety. Being a Gift Female is a prison of sorts. Master had sex with me a long time ago but he never held or talked to me. He just did what he did and never even removed all my clothes. I’ve never been kissed. The other women know all that but I’ll never know what it’s like.” Her attention dropped to his chest. “May I tell you what I always wanted to know the most?”
“What?” He managed to get one word out around the lump in his throat.
“I wonder what it would be like to sleep with someone holding me and have him there in case I woke from a nightmare.”
Shadow had never considered what life was like for a Gift Female. They had only females to comfort them and he couldn’t imagine being segregated from over half his own kind after knowing freedom. There were fewer females than males. The female officers he dealt with were warm and he always appreciated their touches when they gave out hugs or pats when he worked side by side with them.
“I’ll hold you for as long as you want, Beauty.”
She sniffed. “Will you sleep with me?”
He was going to get in deep trouble in the morning when he returned her to the women’s dorm and had to answer questions. Gift Females were off-limits. Spending a night alone with one was against the rules. He knew that but he couldn’t deny her. She gazed at him with hope and longing.
“Yes.”
“Thank you.”