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Shadow (New Species #9)(34)

By:Laurann Dohner

Creek crossed the room and just closed the window. “It shuts. That’s all that matters. Someone else can fix it later. We have people who do that.” She closed the curtains, effectively hiding the damage and turned back. “You never got the lecture from Breeze about our duties to our males?”
“No. I wasn’t allowed around them.” She decided to make the bed.
“Ah.” The Species walked to the other side to help. “Our males are gruff and not the friendliest if you haven’t noticed. They intimidate others easily. Their soft sides are hard to find but it’s our duty to remind them why they need to become social. Otherwise they’d probably have pissing contests with their fists. There would be so much fighting that not much else would happen.”
Beauty paused, staring at Creek. “Why? We’re all considered family, aren’t we?”
“It’s their nature. Mercile didn’t create them to be feeble. We had a lifetime to grow resentful of authority figures. It’s our jobs as females to give them a reason to unite. They work together to give us a home.” She smiled, tucking in her side of the comforter. “We allow them to do it. We need to be reminders that there’s more to living than seeking revenge on the ones who’ve harmed us.”
“What is your job specifically?” Beauty glanced around the room, not seeing anything else to do. She held Creek’s gaze.
“Breeze just expects us to always be supportive of our males.”
“Is that why you sleep with so many of them instead of settling down with one? There aren’t a lot of us who survived.”
A grin curved Creek’s mouth. “No.” She sat on the end of the bed. “Do you know anything about the breeding experiments they did at Mercile?”
“I’ve heard a little about it.”
“We were taken to males to share sex. Sometimes it would be the same one for a few weeks but mostly they’d take us to different ones. They wanted us to become pregnant and probably thought exposing us to several males would help make it successful. Your heart hardens after a few years of it.”
“I don’t understand.” Beauty perched on the dresser.
Creek’s humor fled as she hugged her waist. “We learned not to become attached to anyone. It was a painful mistake to become emotionally involved. They would use us to punish the males or use the males to attempt to force us to do their bidding without protest if they suspected we cared too much about each other. Arguing against whatever they wanted was never a good thing.”
“What kind of things did they want you to do?”
Fangs dented her bottom lip. “Bad things. I was taken to a male once who’d been tortured. He was in bad shape and I tended to him instead of sharing sex.” Anger deepened Creek’s voice. “As if he were in any condition to do that. He’d been severely beaten. I think they wanted to humiliate him.”“By having you share sex?”
“He was so injured he couldn’t get up from his mat. They expected me to initiate the sex. You said you don’t know much about our males but they are proud. It would have shamed him to be expected to perform but not be able to.” Her voice lowered. “I doubt he could have gotten it up.” She glanced at her lap, then back at Beauty. “Do you understand?”
“Yes.”
“I knew they’d refuse to feed me for a few days as punishment for not stripping and trying to share sex with him but I worried he’d die. The technician mistook my compassion for an attachment for the male when he returned me to my cell. That bastard threatened the male’s life if I didn’t allow him to mount me.” Her jaw clenched and her dark eyes narrowed. “I broke his nose and kicked him in the nuts when he got too close. I hope it hurt like hell. I was never going to submit to being raped without putting up a fight. The other technicians pulled him out of the cell before I could do more damage or I might have killed him.” She shrugged. “He never tried that again.”
Beauty blinked back tears. “I’m glad you were able to defend yourself.”
“Me too. Not all our females were so lucky.” Compassion filled Creek’s gaze. “Needless to say though, we grew to protect our hearts by not getting too attached to one male. We’re enjoying our freedom. We have so many choices now and no one tells us who we have to share sex with anymore.” Creek hesitated. “Plus, I think some of us feel it would be unfair to just pick one male when there aren’t enough females to go around.”
“Do you feel that way?” Beauty studied her closely, spotting the hint of sorrow in her features.
Creek shrugged. “I don’t know. Sometimes, I guess. Don’t ever repeat that to Breeze. She’d be horrified. That wasn’t her intention when we moved into the women’s dorm at Homeland. She got us all together to discuss how to help our males with our new lives. It was never implied we should share sex with them but it’s our duty to make sure we care for them as much as they do us. They are protective and shield us as much as possible from the harshness we still endure from the outside world. It seems a small price to meet their needs.” She laughed. “And it’s certainly pleasurable. They take really good care of us in all aspects.”
“Is there someone you like more than anyone else?”
“No.” Creek stood. “I make sure I never spend too much time around any of the males I’ve become intimate with. There aren’t as many as you’d think. A lot of them here are interested in the humans. We have a lot of interaction with the local town.” 
“Is that scary?”
“Humans?” Creek grinned. “No.” The smile disappeared and she continued, “I’m sorry for what happened to you. Was it bad? I don’t know your history.”
“I guess it could have been a lot worse. There was only one man who abused me. He was old and he didn’t beat me but he wanted to have sex sometimes. It was a cold and uncomfortable experience but I wasn’t brutalized. The guards he hired were always trying to bribe or frighten me into doing things with them though. I never did.”
“I’m sorry you had to survive that but you don’t need to fear all humans. We have some working here and I’ve made good friends with two of them. You should meet Zandy and Richard while you’re visiting Reservation. I have lunch with them often but not together right now.”
“You’re friends with human men? Do they fight over you? Is that why they need to be kept apart?”
“No.” The question seemed to amuse her. “Zandy is a female mated to Tiger and they have a son. She just had the baby but Richard can’t find out she was ever pregnant. We trust him but knowing classified information might put him in danger if anyone suspects. Zandy had to transfer to another job to avoid him and he was told she’s at Homeland. They talk by phone since they remained friends but I get to see them separately. The baby is adorable. Have you ever seen one?”
Beauty nodded. “Yes. We have a few of them at Homeland. Ellie brings Salvation to work with her all the time. Fury is his father and the baby looks just like him.”
“I want one so bad but it doesn’t seem it will ever be possible.”
“A baby?”
Creek nodded, glancing around. “Let’s go downstairs to clean up that mess.”
The topic was over. The Species fled the room. Her stiff posture and the wistful tone of her voice revealed her pain. Beauty placed a hand over her flattened tummy, wondering how it would feel to be pregnant as she slid off the edge of the dresser. So far none of the women Species had been able to conceive.
The idea of someone being totally dependent on Beauty was a scary thought. She could barely face each day on her own without wondering how she’d get through it. She loved Salvation and Forest, the two babies she spent the most time around, but was glad they weren’t her responsibility. Children needed parents who were knowledgeable of all things and who could teach them how to survive in the world.
“Creek?”
She paused at the top of the stairs, turning back. “Yes?”
“Why do you want a baby?”
Her features hardened. She was silent for long seconds but then relaxed. “I guess besides the obvious reasons of just wanting to know what it would be like to become a mother, I want someone to love. A child would be safe to open my heart to and share my life with.”
Beauty mulled that answer and reached out, wrapping her fingers around the other woman’s wrist. “I understand.”
“Trisha says not to give up hope and that maybe the experts they’ve hired can find a way around our genetic engineering so we can conceive.”
“Would you want a mate if you were able to have a baby?”
“You’re full of questions.” Creek hesitated. “It’s not an option right now so I don’t allow myself to think of it often.”
“But you do.”
She smiled. “I have considered it. I see how happy Zandy and Tiger are. She’s his entire world and he is hers. It would be nice to go home after work to find someone excited to see me. Of course I doubt I’d be as understanding as she is of his nature. Humans are more agreeable than Species females.”“I don’t understand.”