“Have you shared sex?”
“No.”
“Why not? I was told that was the purpose of sending you both to a cabin. To give you privacy.”
Resentment burned. “Mercile no longer controls me.”
The silence lengthened into almost half a minute. “You feel pushed into this? You’re comparing the NSO to Mercile? That is the way I understand your statement.”
“Yes. It’s a new breeding experiment without the technicians to handle us and no locks to keep us here. It’s still expected for us to share sex.”“Is that how the female feels?”
“I don’t think so. She, um…” He wasn’t sure how to word it.
“She what?”
“I was told she wanted to be alone with me.”
“She’s interested in you but you don’t feel the same? You feel no sexual attraction?”
“I do. She’s beautiful.” His voice lowered. “Sweet. Innocent. But she’s a Gift Female, Wrath. She’s small and a primate mix. I feel monstrous in size compared to her.”
“You will fit. Take your time. I feared that with Lauren. They stretch down there to accommodate your girth. Just don’t go too deep until her body has become accustomed to yours.”
“That isn’t my fear. I suppose it partly is…but mostly I’m afraid of losing control.”
“I understand. I suffered those same anxieties about Lauren. I had to trust myself to know I wouldn’t strike out at her if I had a bad moment. You just need to remember she is flesh and blood, not those videos and machines. We’re free. Our bodies are no longer harnessed for pain and humiliation while our seed is stolen. You won’t forget that while you are touching her. Shed that fear. I know what I’m talking about.”
“I know you do. I keep having flashbacks to what was done to us.”
“You are unable to get an erection?” Wrath whispered, a hint his mate was nearby and he wanted to protect his friend from the humiliation of anyone else knowing if that was his problem. “There are pills for that. You should discuss it with a doctor. We see commercials for that all the time. They say it’s not just physical issues but sometimes emotional ones.”
“My dick gets hard all the time. My body reacts to her. It’s the fear that cock blocks me.”
“I had the same problem.”
“Yes.” He knew Wrath would understand.
“Why didn’t you call me?”
“You and Lauren finally have your house and this is the first time you’ve had real seclusion. I know how much you both looked forward to leaving the task force basement. You stated many times you wanted her to cook for you naked and share sex without fear of someone interrupting you. I didn’t want to do that.”
“In other words, you were being thick-headed and stubborn? I wanted more stable work hours once I finished my time with the task force instead of someone pounding on our bedroom door at two in the morning with an emergency mission. You’re my best friend and I don’t consider you an interruption.”
Shadow chuckled. “I should have contacted you.”
“You should have.” Wrath agreed. “Let it happen if you are attracted to each other. I tried to deny my feelings for Lauren. Your imagination of what bad things could happen is far worse than the reality.”
“She’s been abused.”
“So were we. I promise you won’t turn into an animal and either go into a rage from flashbacks or somehow lose control by taking things too fast. You care for her?”
“Yes. I’d do anything to avoid hurting Beauty.”
“You’ll focus on her needs rather than your own. We’re stronger than we believe. You need to discover that.”
“And trust you.”
Wrath laughed again. “Exactly. I’d never steer you wrong.”
Shadow grew somber. “She caught me jacking off last night. She fled into her room and slammed the doors between us.”
“Are you sure she saw you?”
“Yes.” He winced. “The light was on in my room and I was standing not five feet from her.”
“It’s natural. Explain to her that we’re highly sexual and not tending to our needs makes us cranky and mean spirited. Nothing is more irritating that swollen, painful balls.”
“No shit.” He glanced at the closed door, still not hearing anything to indicate Beauty had woken. “So trust myself?”
“Yes.”
“I still resent being ordered to share sex.”
“I know you well. You wouldn’t be there if you truly didn’t want to go. You’d have called Tim or Trey to ask them to bring you back to the task force sooner rather than later. Are you still contemplating returning?”
“I don’t know. Things are different.”
“Beauty.”
“Yes.”
“Would you miss her?”
He pondered the question. The idea of not being around if she needed him was disturbing. Other males would hear of her interest in him and might believe they could ask her to share sex if she didn’t want to be labeled a Gift Female. Anger flared and his teeth clenched.
“I will take that for a yes since you didn’t immediately deny it.”
“I would.”
“You should notify the task force and tell them you’re not available anymore.”
“Not yet. What if this blows up in my face? What if we do share sex and she wishes to explore it with other males the way our females do?” He’d have to kill every male who touched her but that was beside the point. “I’ll wait and see what happens.”
Wrath laughed again. “You have it bad.”
That described the turmoil of emotions he experienced. “I am glad you called and that you and your mate are doing well.”
“Last night was very funny.”
“What happened?”
“We had a dinner guest. Tiger came over after a meeting with Justice and Fury. Lauren’s cat hissed at him and he hissed back. They didn’t like each other. She told them to both behave and they had something in common. Then she revealed that they shared the same name. I almost hurt myself laughing at his expression.”
“The cat or Tiger?”
Wrath laughed harder. “The one who understood. He was not amused but I was. Fury agreed. He actually fell over from laughing so hard. Ellie was having a movie night at the women’s dorm so we invited him too, for pizza.”
“I wish I could have seen Tiger’s face.”
“He got even.”
“How so?”
“This morning we woke to someone at the door. Tiger said someone had found a puppy a few days ago near the front gate at Homeland. He’d retrieved it from Security where they’ve been caring for it. He said it was a housewarming gift and we couldn’t refuse.”“That was nice. Do you and your mate like dogs?”
“She fell in love. It is cute and seems to really love us already. He licks my face and follows me around.” He paused. “Tiger told Lauren it was a Species custom to name gifts and to meet little Fury.”
The meaning sank in. “Fury is not going to be amused but I am.”
“Exactly.”
“How is the cat getting along with the puppy?”
“They are adjusting but it will take some—”
The sound of glass breaking carried over the phone made Shadow tensed. “What was that?”
“The cat just jumped on top of the wall unit and knocked over a vase. I said Tiger got even but it wasn’t just with Fury.” He covered the phone a little. “I’ll clean that up.”
Lauren could be heard in the background. “Bad Fury! Tiger isn’t a ball to chase.”
Wrath sighed and spoke directly back into the phone again. “The puppy believes that cat is a toy and the cat seems to think it’s under attack. I have a feeling it’s going to be a long week.”
“They’ll become friends,” Lauren called out. “We’ll just have to invite Fury and Tiger back to dinner so they can see that felines and canines can get along.”
“She’s planning on getting even too,” Wrath whispered. “I’d better go. I don’t want Lauren to cut her feet. She’s naked and too close to the broken glass. Call me if you need advice. Don’t hesitate.”
“I won’t.”
Shadow disconnected the phone and stood. He needed a shower then he’d cook breakfast. The smell of food should lure Beauty out of her room. At least he hoped it would. They needed to talk before he had to meet with Torrent for the swimming lesson. The thought of leaving her alone for an hour wasn’t comforting but he didn’t want her around other males.
* * * * *
Beauty stretched out on her stomach and cracked open her eyes. The sun was up and the smell of bacon teased her fully awake. She was hungry and a new day had dawned. At first two weeks had seemed as though it would be a long time to see where her attraction to Shadow led but one of those weeks had already passed and they hadn’t made much progress. They lived together but they might as well be roommates. It seemed that actual sexual contact might never happen.
She blamed herself for peeking into Shadow’s bedroom. He’d been uncomfortable after the night she’d caught him stroking himself. He wouldn’t meet her gaze for longer than a few seconds and found excuses to be outside often. Not that she blamed him. She’d probably avoid him as well if he’d caught her in the same situation.