Bailey lifted one trembling hand to dash the tears from her cheeks, tossing the knife aside and crouching to the floor, holding her middle.
Fuck it.
Gash turned on his heel, flinging the door open to sprint down the hall. It took only seconds to reach the dining room where he barreled through to his mate’s workspace. His boots squeaked on the tile as he skidded to a stop just inside the kitchen door.
Bailey’s gaze snapped up to look at him, surprise quickly morphing into defeat. She held up one hand, palm out, to ward him off.
“Not… hurt…” she gasped, unable to stop the hitching her tears had caused.
Bullshit, he wanted to roar. She wouldn’t cry this way if she wasn’t hurt. His mate wasn’t weak, just tender. Especially in her heart. He knew the signs.
Gash moved forward, careful not to stomp so he wouldn’t frighten her. Be careful with mate. Don’t hurt her anymore. His animal’s pleas had changed from demanding to begging, and it made Gash flinch as hot tears gathered behind his eyes.
I won’t. I swear, I won’t.
But Bailey pushed her palm farther in front of her body, looking hopeless. “I’m fine,” she panted. “Not hurt… fine… go away.”
No matter her protests, he couldn’t stop moving closer. Not when he knew how badly she needed him.
He gentled his voice, letting her hear the rawness in it so she’d know he wasn’t angry. “Bailey…”
But it only made her tears come harder. “I-I don’t need anything. I’m not… not needy. Now… go.”
Not needy. Gash squeezed his eyes closed at the memory of when he’d used that word. He’d thrown it—and others—at her like rocks, hoping to persuade her to think of him as a friend instead of a potential mate.
Their relationship had been strained from the beginning. At first, he’d tried to avoid her. Not so easy to do, confined to the mountain the way they were and working in close proximity to one another. Then he’d tried being rude to her so she’d resist the pull of their mating bond. But after Felix’s men set a steel trap in the woods and caught Layna in it, he’d drawn Bailey closer so he could watch over her better.
But yesterday, when he’d gone in after hours to get lunch, she’d been in the kitchen prepping for dinner. He’d taken a seat at the counter, silently watching her while he ate. Time went by easily until she quietly asked, “Will you be looking for a mate in the future?”
His sandwich had turned to sawdust between one bite and the next.
She’d glanced at him with a small smile. Not the bright one that showed her teeth, but a tiny, careful one. It turned his insides to mush when she showed this submissive side of herself.
“I always thought I’d never mate, but so much is possible now that the pact has changed.” The smile stayed in place as she chopped. “With the way you’ve been sticking close by, I thought…” Her hesitation brought a rosy blush to her dark cheeks. “Well, I thought maybe you’d been considering… me.”
Gash breathed shallow because he couldn’t find air. Considering her? No. He knew she was his. There was nothing to consider.
He just needed to keep everyone else from knowing it.
“You?” he’d forced through clenched teeth.
She’d shrugged one shoulder, chopping faster as the smile faded to a phantom. “Yeah. I just thought… maybe. My tiger has considered you, so I thought… I dunno… maybe?”
Fuming and desperate for her to stop this line of thinking, he’d declared, “I don’t want a mate. Ever. You understand?”
He had to make her see, any connection to him was dangerous for her. Simply being her friend was dangerous. But a mate? That was like painting a bright red bullseye on her forehead. Especially now that Felix and the Alley Cats knew where to find them.
“I mean, why the fuck do you think I joined this clan anyway? Why do you think I took that no-mating vow in the beginning? Because I didn’t want to be fucking tied down and shit.” Such a lie. Such a fucking lie. “I don’t want cubs looking up to me and I don’t want a needy female to care for. Got it?”
The chopping knife had slowed, the more he ranted, and when he finally stalled to take a breath, she’d gone completely still.
“Got it,” she whispered. “Thanks for clearing that up.”
Later, when he’d returned to the security office, he ran the tapes back to find that she’d started crying as soon as he’d walked away from the kitchen.
You hurt mate, his animal accused angrily.
I know. Now I’m going to make it better.